Issue41: 506words 45 minutes
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
As one philosopher said, "every existence has its own sake", so I fundamentally concur with the speaker insofar as that non-mainstream inquiries such as astrology, fortune-telling and so on can cater to people's some needs especially in the psychological aspect. However, it is harmful to advocate that non-mainstream inquiry is "vital "to our society as the speaker asserts above.
First of all, I have to concede that even in today's modern society in which science and technology have hit a level that our forefather had never imagined, there are still many mysterious and difficult natural and social phenomenon that cannot be interpreted and solved by the mainstream science. This reason, thus, has provided the space to the wide acceptation of some so called non-mainstream among which some are actually superstitious beliefs. Take the astrology for example, it is because people in today's society have confronted infinite choices so that they resort to some cards to make a decision for them, by which they shift their burden of taking the responsibility of insecurity, and risks to those magic cards which are said to be have the function of prediction.
Another reason why non-mainstream inquiries can exist in our society is that they can satisfy some people' psychological needs. In our society, since people who are struggling for fame, money and social status have been often frustrated by the cruel reality, they begin to seek comforts and reasons for their failures. Thus, fortune-telling that means people's fates have been predestinated can provide them such excuses to comfort themselves. Another compelling example is about people's belief about some existence and phenomenon that are relevant to afterlife. As people cannot change the eternal truth that every one is mortal, so they have to find some other evidence to prove that human can extend their lives from the grave. Only through pursuing such kind of non-mainstream inquiry that is rejected by the main-stream science, can it meet some people's psychological needs.
Although non-mainstream inquiries have catered to some people's various needs, it is unwise to claim that they are so vital to our society that we should greatly advocate them. Actually the negative influences of non-mainstream inquiries have outweighed their positive ones. On the one hand, they can mislead people to make some wrong decisions that may undermine themselves and even the society just like the card prediction in astrology. On the other hand, such inquiries that have not been proved to be true by the scientific researches give many bilkers the opportunities to cheat some dupes' money and emotion, which would greatly contribute to the instability of our society. What's more significant is that such non-mainstream inquiry can baffle the development of the mainstream science by instructing people some superstition and delusion about our world.
In my final analysis, I admit that non-mainstream areas of inquiry can really work in helping people to solve their psychological issues and even some others. Foolish ones we would become, however, if we cast all our stakes on those unreliable ones while ignoring the true science.
[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-11 at 11:59 ]作者: ssym 时间: 2005-7-10 20:24:04 标题: perfect
Issue41: 506words 45 minutes
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
As one philosopher said, "every existence has its own sake", so I fundamentally concur with the speaker insofar as[去掉这个as?我也不确定的说] that non-mainstream inquiries such as astrology, fortune-telling and so on can cater to people's some needs[some of people's need] especially in the psychological aspect. However, it is harmful to advocate that non-mainstream inquiry is "vital "to our society as the speaker asserts above.
First of all, I have to concede that even in today's modern society in which science and technology have hit a level that our forefather had never imagined, there are still many mysterious and difficult natural and social phenomenon[复数phenomena更好点？] that cannot be interpreted and[否定并列用or的说] solved by the mainstream science. This reason, thus, has provided the[不定冠词 a] space to the wide acceptation of some so called non-mainstream among which some are actually superstitious beliefs. Take the astrology for example, it is because people in today's society have confronted[been confronted] infinite choices so that they resort to some cards to make a decision for them, by which they shift their burden of taking the responsibility of insecurity, and risks to those magic cards which are said to be[去掉be] have the function of prediction.
Another reason why non-mainstream inquiries can exist in our society is that they can satisfy some people'[people's] psychological needs. In our society, since people who are struggling for fame, money and social status have been often frustrated by the cruel reality, they begin to seek comforts and reasons for their failures. Thus, fortune-telling that means people's fates have been predestinated can provide them such excuses to comfort themselves. Another compelling example is about people's belief about[in] some existence and phenomenon that are relevant to afterlife. As people cannot change the eternal truth that every one is mortal[As nobody can prevent the ending of life], so they have to find some other evidence to prove that human can extend their lives from the grave[in grave?]. Only through pursuing such kind of non-mainstream inquiry that is rejected by the main-stream science, can it meet some people's psychological needs.
Although non-mainstream inquiries have catered to some people's various needs, it is unwise to claim that they are so vital to our society that we should greatly advocate them. Actually the negative influences of non-mainstream inquiries have outweighed their positive ones. On the one hand, they can mislead people to make some wrong decisions that may undermine themselves and even the society just like the card prediction in astrology. On the other hand, such inquiries that have not been proved to be true by the scientific researches give many bilkers the opportunities to cheat some dupes' money and emotion, which would greatly contribute to the instability of our society. What's more significant is that such non-mainstream inquiry can baffle the development of the mainstream science by instructing people some superstition and delusion about our world.
In my final analysis, I admit that non-mainstream areas of inquiry can really work in helping people to[不用不定式符号了吧] solve their psychological issues and even some others. Foolish ones we would become, however, if we cast all our stakes on those unreliable ones while ignoring the true science.
Issue41: 506words 45 minutes
Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.
As one philosopher said, "every existence has its own sake", so I fundamentally concur with the speaker insofar as that non-mainstream inquiries such as astrology, fortune-telling and so on can cater to people's some needs（我觉得你可能想表达的是某种需要，用certain needs会不会好些呢） especially in the psychological aspect. However, it is harmful to advocate that non-mainstream inquiry is "vital "to our society as the speaker asserts above.
First of all, I have to concede that even in today's modern society in which science and technology have hit a level that our forefather had never imagined, there are still many mysterious and difficult natural and social phenomenon(复数phenomena) that cannot be interpreted and solved by the mainstream science. This reason, thus, has provided the space to the wide acceptation of some so called non-mainstream among which some are actually superstitious beliefs（我觉得用some of which比较好）. Take the astrology for example, it is because people in today's society have confronted infinite（用so many choices that） choices so that they resort to some cards to make a decision for them, by which they shift their burden of taking the responsibility of insecurity, and risks to those magic cards which are said to be have the function of prediction.(建议：你的语言能力很好噢，不过在段落里长短句结合比较好，我发现你这一段就3句话，呵呵)
不过写得很流畅
提点建议吧：topic sentence 说有很多现象不能解释，后面论证却说人们有很多选择无从决定，这个例子和你的中心句关系不大阿，难道说我们能解释就能选择了吗
Another reason why non-mainstream inquiries can exist in our society is that they can satisfy some people' psychological needs. In our society, since people who are struggling for fame, money and social status have been often frustrated by the cruel reality, they begin to seek comforts and reasons for their failures. Thus, fortune-telling that means people's fates have been predestinated can provide them such excuses to comfort themselves. Another compelling example is about people's belief about some existence and phenomenon that are relevant to afterlife. As people cannot change the eternal truth that every one is mortal, so they have to find some other evidence to prove that human can extend their lives from the grave. Only through pursuing such kind of non-mainstream inquiry that is rejected by the main-stream science, can it meet some people's psychological needs.
这段写的挺好的Although non-mainstream inquiries have catered to some people's various needs, it is unwise to claim that they are so vital to our society that we should greatly advocate them. Actually the negative influences of non-mainstream inquiries have outweighed their positive ones. On the one hand, they can mislead people to make some wrong decisions that may undermine themselves and even the society just like the card prediction in astrology. On the other hand, such inquiries that have not been proved to be true by the scientific researches give many bilkers the opportunities to cheat some dupes' money and emotion, which would greatly contribute to the instability of our society. What's more significant is that（用what’s more就可以了，还有好像考试不让用缩写的哦，还是用moreover吧） such non-mainstream inquiry can baffle the development of the mainstream science by instructing people some superstition and delusion about our world.
这一段的语气有点太强烈了，用点probably之类的比较好，否则一篇文章就出现两种对比很强烈的态度了，个人意见
In my final analysis, I admit that non-mainstream areas of inquiry can really work in helping people to solve their psychological issues and even some others. Foolish ones we would become,（可以这么说吗，我不确定） however, if we cast all our stakes on those unreliable ones while ignoring the true science
你的文章写得很不错，考试时这样的文章就很牛了，呵呵作者: ahqiu 时间: 2005-7-11 20:39:04