issue30 第6篇issue,留下链接,有砖必回

linxzUID: 2225479

"The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's
efficiency so that everyone has more leisure time."

disagree

a. Our experience has proved that the efficiency of human has been improved due
to the technological advancement.

b. Yet, according to the human nature, the life would never be leisurable
instead become more stressing with the development of technology.

c. since the leisure time would not be prolonged however great the technological
achievement is, the technology should be strving to address other emergent
needs.

The speaker claims that technology should be improved in order to increase
people's efficiency therefore to increase their leisure time. On balance, I
fundamentaly agree this idea that the efficiency of human beings should benefit
from the advancement of technology, however, people would never enjoy more
casual time.

Our experiences at every level has proved that the people's efficiency has
greatly improved with the help of technology. On the personal level, the mobile
phone, which stems from communication technology, can help to exchange the ideas
among individuals thus make cooperation much easier, no matter how distant they
are from each other. On the community level, a factory would be more productive
while at a lower cost after introducing an automatic assembly line. On the
society level, the goverment could inform the public its new policy through mass
modern media in the shortest time, rather than publishing it on the local
newspaper. All these tasks, taken by people's hands before, could be finished
quicker and better by employing technological manners. From this perspective we
can see, human beings have already benefited a lot from the advancement in
efficiency. Thus, the technology should be designed to address the need of
efficiency in order to boost our society.

However, just on the opposite of the speark's willingness, human life has become
more intensive instead of leisurable with the increasing of efficiency. This is
determined by the inherent human desire of self-improvement. Admittedly,
technology has enabled people to more jobs during the same period, yet the non-
stoppable willingness of achieving higher goal, gain more profit and become more
famous would drive people to undertake more tasks. Even they know the new
adventure is the source of anxiety, pressure and stress, their chases could not
cease. We must bear in mind, with the recent developments of technologis, the
scale of sweatshops is increasingly larger, the paces of walkers are
increasingly faster, the number of fast-food seller is increasingly bigger.
Nowadays, we have less time spent with our family members and would regard a ten
minutes walk after meal as a evil waste of precious time, which is hard to image
for people 100 years ago. Shall we say another big leap in technology will make
our life much leisureable? Surely not.

Since the unlimited desire of self-improvement dominates our social behaviors,
the main result of technology should not be expected to set people free, which
is obviously an unattainable target. In fact, there are many problems pending to
be settled by the power of technology. For instance, the productive of
agriculture plants should be increased by technology in order to provide plenty
food for mass hungry people, the medical device should be preciser in order to
keep patients much safer. In addition, with the help of space technology, we
could see much deeper into the universe. In short, the expected outcomes of
technology could be multiple, if only to ensure the overall well-being of our
society, but never to give people more leisure moments.

To conclusion, advancing our technology is undoubtedly for the sake of
efficiency. And with a higher efficiency, we would benefit significantly from
various aspects - except more spare time available.

chengnicoleUID: 2216897

The speaker claims that technology should be improved in order to increase
people's efficiency therefore to increase their leisure time. On balance, I
fundamentaly agree this idea that the efficiency of human beings should(will读起来更好） benefit
from the advancement of technology, however, people would never enjoy more
casual time.（人们决不会享受更多的休闲时间，这句话挺吓人的，可否改为people would not use the saved time to enjoy more leisure）

Our experiences at every level （有强调的必要吗？好像读起来有点累赘） has proved that the people's efficiency has (been)
greatly improved with the help of technology （in varous aspects). On(At) the personal level, the mobile
phone, which stems from communication technology, can help to exchange the ideas (或者enhance the communication)
among individuals thus make cooperation much easier, no matter how distant they
are from each other. On the community level, a factory would be more productive
while at a lower cost after introducing an automatic assembly line. On the
society level, the goverment could inform the public its new policy through mass
modern media (modern mass media大众传媒应该连在一起吧) in the shortest time, rather than publishing it on the local
newspaper. (the government could share the most updated policy with the public immediately through television, radio or even internet, instead of waiting for the much longer lead time of newspaper publishing. All these tasks, taken by people's hands before, could be finished
quicker and better by employing technological manners. 不通 From this perspective we
can see, human beings have (been) already benefited a lot from the advancement in
efficiency. Thus, the technology should be designed to address the need of
efficiency in order to boost our society.

However, just on the opposite of the speark's willingness, human life has become
more intensive instead of leisurable with the increasing of efficiency. This is
determined by the inherent human desire of self-improvement. Admittedly,
technology has enabled people to more jobs during the same period, yet the non-
stoppable willingness of achieving higher goal, gain more profit and become more
famous would drive people to undertake more tasks. Even they know the new
adventure is the source of anxiety, pressure and stress, their chases could not
cease. We must bear in mind, with the recent developments of technologis, the
scale of sweatshops is increasingly larger, the paces of walkers are
increasingly faster, the number of fast-food seller is increasingly bigger.
Nowadays, we have less time spent with our family members and would regard a ten
minutes walk after meal as a evil waste of precious time, which is hard to image (imagine)
for people 100 years ago. Shall we say another big leap in technology will make
our life much leisureable? Surely not. (观点有新意）

Since the unlimited desire of self-improvement dominates our social behaviors,
the main result of technology should not be expected to set people free, which
is obviously an unattainable target. In fact, there are many problems pending to
be settled by the power of technology. For instance, the productive of
agriculture plants should be increased by technology in order to provide plenty
food for mass hungry people, the medical device should be preciser in order to
keep patients much safer. In addition, with the help of space technology, we
could see much deeper into the universe. In short, the expected outcomes of
technology could be multiple, if only to ensure the overall well-being of our
society, but never to give people more leisure moments. (感觉这段有点走题了，科技带来问题和人们是否享受空闲没有必然联系吧？）
To conclusion, advancing our technology is undoubtedly for the sake of
efficiency. And with a higher efficiency, we would benefit significantly from
various aspects - except more spare time available.

我不太懂该怎么评价语言，但总觉得有些表述比较不通顺。

关键是，越看越觉得走题，后面没有细改。提纲是不是应该这样会比较好？
1. technology do have improved our efficiency
2. to make everyone has more leisure should not be the only purpose of technology development
3. technology can even make people more stressful in live

仅供参考

我的习作
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768766816



[ 本帖最后由 chengnicole 于 2006-7-3 00:42 编辑 ]