argument53 ，issue50[smile]第一次作业

applehattieUID: 2195344

欢迎狂拍！！

A53：1.研究的样本数量是否充足，可靠性，
        2.没有足够的信息显示在早秋怀上的孩子会更容易受外界影响而不安，婴儿感到紧 张是天生的，那些分泌的荷尔蒙具体影响到大脑的什么功能，没有说清楚。
       3.一半以上承认自己的害羞的，并不一定和怀孕期的M上升有关，害羞可以受到后天很多因素的影响，家庭环境，学校的教育。

Merely based on unfounded research and dubious evidence, the arguer draws a conclusion that the increased levels of melatonin before birth must be the very cause of shyness during infancy even later life. To support this point of view, the author provide the study, which not only lack the necessary connection between the reasons and the results but also overlook to consider other facts may lead to the eventual consequence.

To begin with, the validity of the two-step-study is doubtful. The babies’ number of the research is not sufficient to meet the universality. Just rely on 25 infants whose reaction is upset to the stimuli, it is unconvincing to get the result that most of the infants have been conceived in early autumn, and the mothers’ bodies may have increased levels of melatonin. If these babies were happened to be conceived in early autumn, and there is a high possibility because of the small number, then the conclusion that the mothers’ melatonin level was increasing is suspect. In addition, the study doesn’t provide details about these babies’ mother, maybe some of them do not have that kind of hormone –meletonin at all even at a time, in which common mother would produce a lot. Meanwhile, the secondary study implies that half of the teenagers admitted that they were shy. And half of the number25 is 12 or 13, such a small number cannot give us much information. There is also one point to be suspicious, that is who conduct the study, these people may be trustless, may induce the teenagers to get the expected answers.

Furthermore, there is no evidence to prove that babies have been conceived in early autumn incline to be distressful when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. As to human nature, it is quite normal to be nervous when the outside interrupts the peaceful environment, especially to little babies. The reaction to stimuli is acceptable, it does not mean the babies are very easy to be frightened, in contrast, it shows that they are very sensitive to the stimulus in their surroundings which seems to be the most normal natural sense of mankind. In addition, the arguer indicates that the hormone-melatonin can effect “some” brain functions, there is some problem with this word-some. Some means uncertainty, obviously , the researchers themselves are not quite sure about the exact function of melatonin. Thus, it does not make me believe that the melatonin must have necessary connection with the distress of the infants in the research.

Last but not least, in the follow-up study, whether the shyness of those boys has something to do with the melatonin is doubtful. When I was a child, I used to be very shy, especially when I was a teenager. But my mother conceived me in the summer. Admittedly, shyness does have some connection with the gene, some children are very bold when they are born, and some are very timid even when they grow up. Also, we cannot deny other outside effect on these babies’ later life to cause them shy. Maybe those teenagers who admit to be shy have very bashful parents, so with a timid way their parents treat the life they are more likely to be a shy person. And maybe having a shy friend is another reason to make them shy.

To sum up, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only the study lacks validity, but also the results in the analysis of the evidence do not provide strong support to what the author claims.

[ 本帖最后由 applehattie 于 2006-7-22 20:02 编辑 ]

applehattieUID: 2195344

issue 50"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."


I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that professors should go out of the college to work in the fields that concerned about the courses they teach. Working outside the academic world improves professor's practical experience, helps them to keep in pace with the rapid development of technology. Meanwhile, students can enhance their abilities of following the advancement of the outside society, through their professor's eyes they can see a lot of changes and innovations in the realm they study.

In the first place, if the professor works outside the college, it not only does good to professor themselves but also would be a great gift for the students in college. Nowadays, with the rapid development of science and technology, the content of a certain discipline is always changeable , in contrast, the curriculum is fixed steadily in the college and university. So there is usually a lag between the frontier technology and the outdated courses set up in college. The students cannot get access to the newest information they desperately want to assimilate, which may give the students inspiration and the spark of creation. But everything would change, if the professors go out of the campus, they could seek the updated knowledge and information and they would gain much working experience. When they come back to the class, the students would learn a lot about the innovations and practical experience in the field they study, and it just like a fresh blood injected into the class which used to be starched and boring.

In the second place, the professor would be distracted if they spend too much time on working outside the academic world. The preliminary duty of professor is teaching, it is harmful to the students if the professors do not put sufficient time on preparing their class. At that time, the teaching is just a superficial pattern which does not contain any valuable information. Because the outside work has high payment, sound welfare and so forth, even some professors would try to skip from teaching, devote themselves to the work completely. The motivation of the company to pay such a high salary is obvious, for the reason that they want to keep the professors who acquire specific knowledge and insightful observation capability needed by the company. It would always be a problem for the professors to balance between the outside working and the inside teaching.

Last but not least, it is not only one path to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level. The successful professionals outside the campus should be invited to the college's lecture to provide the renovated knowledge to the students, which can not only benefit learners a lot in the field they study but also bring them the practical career experience preparing for the future. Also, it is a brilliant idea to organize students to visit the outstanding enterprise where they can experience the overall processing the company runs, go to the plant to observe how the machines operate, or even get some part time job there.

In sum, regardless of some negative impacts, it is basic a great idea to encourage the professors to go out of the campus to work in professions relevant to the courses they teach. Besides we can figure out many other paths to enhance the quality of education at college and university.

[ 本帖最后由 applehattie 于 2006-7-22 20:03 编辑 ]

xinxinwUID: 2144273

I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that professors should go out of the college to work in the fields that concerned about the courses they teach. Working outside the academic world improves professor's practical experience, helps them to keep in pace with the rapid development of technology. Meanwhile, students can enhance their abilities of following（to follow） the advancement of the outside society, through their professor's eyes 这个比喻太中文化了吧they can see a lot of changes and innovations in the realm they study.

In the first place, if the professor works outside the college, it not only does good to professor themselves but also would be a great gift for the students in college. Nowadays, with the rapid development of science and technology, the content of a certain discipline is always changeable（changing） , in contrast, the curriculum is fixed steadily in the college and university. So there is usually a lag between the frontier technology and the outdated courses set up in college. The students cannot get access to the newest information they desperately want to assimilate, which may give the students inspiration and the spark of creation. But everything would change多余, if the professors go out of the campus, they could seek the updated knowledge and information and they would gain much working experience. When they come back to the class, the students would learn a lot about the innovations and practical experience in the field they study, and it just like a fresh blood injected into the class which used to be starched and boring.

In the second place, the professor would be distracted if they spend too much time on working outside the academic world. The preliminary duty of professor is teaching, it is harmful to the students if the professors do not put sufficient time on preparing their class. At that time, the teaching is just a superficial pattern which does not contain any valuable information. Because the outside work has high payment, sound welfare and so forth, even some professors would try to skip from teaching, devote themselves to the work completely. The motivation of the company to pay such a high salary is obvious, for the reason that they want to keep the professors who acquire specific knowledge and insightful observation capability needed by the company. It would always be a problem for the professors to balance between the outside working and the inside teaching.

Last but not least, it is not only one path to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level. The successful professionals outside the campus should be invited to the college's lecture to provide the renovated knowledge to the students, which can not only benefit learners a lot in the field they study but also bring them the practical career experience preparing for the future. Also, it is a brilliant idea to organize students to visit the outstanding enterprise where they can experience the overall processing the company runs, go to the plant to observe how the machines operate, or even get some part time job there.这个观点很好

In sum, regardless of some negative impacts, it is basic a great idea to encourage the professors to go out of the campus to work in professions relevant to the courses they teach. Besides we can figure out many other paths to enhance the quality of education at college and university.

结构不错，句式比较单一

applehattieUID: 2195344

谢谢xinxinw指教
是啊，我就是写不出象你那样的复杂句，l
老是用来用去就一种句式，有没有什么改进的方法啊？

applehattieUID: 2195344

修改第一次issue50，还有什么问题大家帮忙看看啊～
I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that professors should go out of the college to work in the fields that concerned about the courses they teach. Working outside the academic world improves professor's practical experience, helps them to keep in pace with the rapid development of technology. Meanwhile, students can enhance their abilities to follow the advancement of the outside society. But it is also important for the professors to balance between the academic research and practical work.

In the first place, if the professor works outside the college, it not only does good to professor themselves but also would be a great gift for the students in college. Nowadays, with the rapid development of science and technology, the content of a certain discipline is always changing , in contrast, the curriculum is fixed steadily in the college and university. So there is usually a lag between the frontier technology and the outdated courses set up in college. The students cannot get access to the newest information they desperately want to assimilate, which may give the students inspiration and the spark of creation. If the professors go out of the campus, they could seek the updated knowledge and information and they would gain much working experience. When they come back to the class, the students would learn a lot about the innovations and practical experience in the field they study, and it just like a fresh blood injected into the class which used to be starched and boring.

In the second place, the professor would be distracted if they spend too much time on working outside the academic world. The preliminary duty of professor is teaching, it is harmful to the students if the professors do not put sufficient time on preparing their class. At that time, the teaching is just a superficial pattern which does not contain any valuable information. Because the outside work has high payment, sound welfare and so forth, even some professors would try to skip from teaching, devote themselves to the work completely. The motivation of the company to pay such a high salary is obvious, for the reason that they want to keep the professors who acquire specific knowledge and insightful observation capability needed by the company. It would always be a problem for the professors to balance between the outside working and the inside teaching.

Last but not least, it is not only one path to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level. The successful professionals outside the campus should be invited to the college's lecture to provide the renovated knowledge to the students, which can not only benefit learners a lot in the field they study but also bring them the practical career experience preparing for the future. Also, it is a brilliant idea to organize students to visit the outstanding enterprise where they can experience the overall processing the company runs, go to the plant to observe how the machines operate, or even get some part time job there.

In sum, regardless of some negative impacts, it is basic a great idea to encourage the professors to go out of the campus to work in professions relevant to the courses they teach. Besides we can figure out many other paths to enhance the quality of education at college and university.

applehattieUID: 2195344

来拍，来拍啊～

imzxzUID: 2138612

I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that professors should go out of the college to work in the fields that concerned about the courses they teach. Working outside the academic world improves professor's practical experience, helps them to keep in pace with the rapid development of technology. Meanwhile, students can enhance their abilities to follow the advancement of the outside society. 这句话的意思感觉有点含糊。follow the advancement是enhance their abilities的造成的效果还是修饰abilities的？But it is also important for the professors to balance between the academic research and practical work.

In the first place, if the professor works outside the college, it not only does good to professor themselves but also would be a great gift for the students in college. Nowadays, with the rapid development of science and technology, the content of a certain discipline is always changing , in contrast,加个while比较好，in contrast本身不能连接两个句子the curriculum is fixed steadily in the college and university. So there is usually a lag between the frontier technology and the outdated courses set up in college. The students cannot get access to the newestlatest? information they desperately want to assimilate, which may give the students inspiration and the spark of creation. If the professors go out of the campus, they could seek the updated knowledge and information and they would gain much working experience. When they come back to the class, the students would learn a lot about the innovations and practical experience in the field they study, and it justis like a fresh blood injected into the class which used to be starched and boring.

In the second place, the professor would be distracted if they spend too much time on working outside the academic world. The preliminary duty of professor is teaching, soit is harmful to the students if the professors do not put sufficient time on preparing their class. At that timecase, the teaching is just a superficial pattern which does not contain any valuable information. Because the outside work has high payment, sound welfare and so forth, even 这里删掉evensome professors would eventry to skip from teaching, devote themselves to the work completely. The motivation of the company to pay such a high salary is obvious, for the reason that they want to keep the professors who acquire specific knowledge and insightful observation capability needed by the company. SoIt would always be a problem for the professors to balance between the outside working and the inside teaching.inside teaching?

Last but not least, it is not only one path to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level. The successful professionals outside the campus shouldcould be invited to the college's lecture to provide the renovated knowledge to the students, which can not only benefit learners a lot in the field they study but also bring them the practical career experience preparing for the future. Also, it is a brilliant idea to organize students to visit the outstanding enterprise where they can experience the overall processing the company runs, go to the plant to observe how the machines operate, or even get some part time job there.

In sum, regardless of some negative impacts, it is basicbasically a great idea to encourage the professors to go out of the campus to work in professions relevant to the courses they teach. Besides we can figure out many other paths to enhance the quality of education at college and university. 感觉话似乎还没有说完，besides改成although语气会通一些.我个人觉得这里还应该再提一下balance这个问题来完整你的论述。


总体说来很不错的一篇文章，偶要多多学习了，呵呵。

[ 本帖最后由 imzxz 于 2006-7-23 14:10 编辑 ]

hes2000abcUID: 2154084

I fundamentally agree with the author's assertion that professors should go out of the college to work in the fields that concerned about the courses they teach. Working outside the academic world improves professor's practical experience, and helps them to keep in pace with the rapid development of technology. Meanwhile, students can enhance their abilities of following the advancement of the outside society（world可能更好一点）, through their professor's eyes they can see a lot of changes and innovations（可以写成developments and changes） in the realm they study.

In the first place, if the professor works outside the college, it not only does good to professor themselves but also would be a great gift for the students in college. Nowadays, with the rapid development of science and technology, the content of a certain discipline is always changeable（changeable是可改变的；用changing或者development 就好了。）, in contrast, the curriculum is fixed （unchanged）steadily in the college and university. So there is usually a lag between the frontier technology and the outdated courses set up in college. The students cannot get access to the newest information they desperately want to assimilate, which may give the students inspiration and the spark of creation.（用的很好，呵呵） But everything would change, if the professors go out of the campus, they could seek the updated knowledge and information and they would gain much working experience. When they come back to the class, the students would learn a lot about the innovations and practical experience in the field they study, and it just like a fresh blood injected into the class which used to be starched and boring.（不管教授还是学生前面的冠词用the感觉不太合适，供参考）
In the second place, the professor would be distracted if they spend too much time on working outside the academic world. The preliminary duty of professor is teaching, it is harmful to the students if the professors do not put sufficient（enough） time on preparing their class. At that time, the teaching is just a superficial pattern which （might do）does not contain any valuable information. Because the outside work has high payment, sound welfare and so forth, even some professors would try to skip from teaching, devote themselves to the work completely. The motivation of the company to pay such a high salary is obvious, for the reason that they want to keep the professors who acquire（own） specific knowledge and insightful observation capability needed by the company. It would always be a problem for the professors to balance between the outside working and the inside teaching.

Last but not least, it is not only one path to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level. The successful professionals outside the campus should be invited to the college's lecture to provide the renovated knowledge to the students, which can not only benefit learners a lot in the field they study but also bring them the practical career experience preparing for the future. Also, it is a brilliant idea to organize students to visit the outstanding enterprise where they can experience the overall processing the company runs, go to the plant to observe how the machines operate, or even get some part time job there.

In sum, regardless of some negative impacts, it is basically a great idea to encourage the professors to go out of the campus to work in professions relevant to the courses they teach. Besides we can figure out many other paths to enhance the quality of education at college and university.
写的很棒，句子用的比较地道，长句很多，也展示了你的词汇，整篇下来都是在学习。有些地方个人认为可能更好的地方标了一下，基本没有错误。在文中教授和学生前面的the个人感觉可以去掉的。

hes2000abcUID: 2154084

applehattie argument53
Merely based on unfounded research and dubious evidence, the arguer draws a conclusion that the increased levels of melatonin before birth must be the very cause of shyness during infancy even later life. To support this point of view, the author provide the study, which  not only lack the necessary connection between the reasons and the results but also overlook to consider other facts may lead to the eventual consequence.

To begin with, the validity of the two-step-study is doubtful. The babies’ number of the research is not sufficient to meet the universality. Just rely on 25 infants whose reaction is upset to the stimuli, it is unconvincing to get the result that most of the infants have been conceived in early autumn, and the mothers’ bodies may have increased levels of melatonin. If these babies were happened to be conceived in early autumn, and there is a high possibility because of the small number, then the conclusion that the mothers’ melatonin level was increasing is suspect. In addition, the study doesn’t provide details about these babies’ mother, maybe some of them do not have that kind of hormone –melatonin at all even at a time, in which common(common 不地道，most of) mothers would produce a lot. Meanwhile, the secondary study implies that half of the teenagers admitted that they were shy. And half of the number 25 is 12 or 13, such a small number（years） cannot give us much(much换成 convincing) information. There is also one（another） point to be suspicious, that is who conducts the study, these people may be trustless, may induce the teenagers to get the expected answers.

Furthermore, there is no evidence to prove that babies have been conceived in early autumn incline to be distressful when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli. As to human nature, it is quite normal to be nervous when the outside interrupts the peaceful environment, especially to little（little去掉） babies. The reaction to stimuli is acceptable（reasonable）, it does not mean the babies are very easy to be frightened, in contrast, it shows that they are very sensitive to the stimulus in their surroundings which seems to be the most normal natural sense of mankind.（和前面重复了可以少说点,呵呵） In addition, the arguer indicates that the hormone-melatonin can affect “some” brain functions, there is(are) some problems with this word-some. Some means uncertainty, obviously, the researchers themselves are not quite sure about the exact function of melatonin. Thus, it does not make me believe that the melatonin must have (certain) necessary connection with the distress of the infants in the research.

Last but not least, in the follow-up study, whether the shyness of those boys has something to do with the melatonin is doubtful. When I was a child, I used to be very shy, especially when I was a teenager. But my mother conceived me in the summer.(自己也没必要说了,个体也不具代表性,呵呵) Admittedly, shyness does have some connection with the gene, some children are very bold when they are born, and some are very timid even when they grow up. Also, we cannot deny other outside effect on these babies’ later life to cause them shy. Maybe those teenagers who admit to be shy have very bashful parents, so with a timid way their parents treat the life they are more likely to be a shy person. And maybe having a shy friend is another reason to make them shy.

To sum up, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only the study lacks validity, but also the results in the analysis of the evidence do not provide strong support to what the author claims.
总体感觉英语功底不错,复杂句和词汇的应用都是我值得学习的.
两点建议1:各段要注意字数均衡,第2,3段太多,末段太少.
      　　2:最后一段argument,大都是为了more convince, need information之类的.
有些拼写,时态小毛病,要注意一下,就好了.本人是菜鸟,水平有限,大家共同进步!

[ 本帖最后由 hes2000abc 于 2006-7-25 21:46 编辑 ]

applehattieUID: 2195344

谢谢hes2000abc (夫子) 修改我的文章
呵呵，其实我的词汇和句式都很单一，还需努力 啊
大家一起加油吧