标题: issue50 【笑傲AW小组】第一次作业 by littleoxygen [打印本页] 作者: littleoxygen 时间: 2007-2-14 00:56:34 标题: issue50 【笑傲AW小组】第一次作业 by littleoxygen
题目：ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculties should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
字数：417 用时：上午 02:48:54 日期：2007-2-14
Whether the faculty should be required to work outside should depend on the courses they teach rather than to request all the teachers to obey the same rule. Since the instruction consist of the action, the practice and the profession of the teaching,
To some extent, I have to agree with the author's statement. In the filed of engineering, it is an effective way to improve teaching level that encourage the professors to make use of the part-time in order to accumulate experience relevant to the courses they expert. If an engineer who only knows the knowledge in books occupied the tenure position, the students would earn less about the practice of this domain and the most advanced outlook.Understandably, the outside work will increase the degree of the professors’ teaching in such state. Another good example is the medical schools, the professor positions are always taken placed by the doctors in the hospitals pertain to the schools. The strongest example to illustrate is the surgeons. The more they operate surgeries and absorb knowledge from practice, the better they will impart youth. Add to this, the sociology and anthropology prove it obviously as well as.
As to other fields, take the theoretical physics for example, because of the specific characters of this area, if the faculty work outside the university, it will undoubtedly decrease the quality of the teaching. And such relevant work can hardly be adduced, for this subject seems only to perform well within the brain cells. Let us take a look at another example from the biological sciences as well. It seems that the most convinced is the quality of the lab's efforts which is almost independent of the outside world. The similar subject is the mathematical researches. It wills unimaginable if the mathematician takes a part time job besides his research.
Other results also should be taken considered. The most possible consequence is waste their time, and pay for its whistle at the same time. The energe, power and time are limited, unless the teachers pay more attention to their academic areas, they can not achieve the expected level.
There are a multitude methods contributing to the teaching quality include the sufficient facilities, the free academic atmosphere, and the talent individuals
Etc.It could not only depend on the work of the faculty to enhance the teaching quality. More things should be taken into account besides the complexion discussed above.Especially; the problem involved every field in the education, so any requirement should be thought over seriously even more.
In short, we should consider this question accord to the variant subjects but not only suggest the whole faculty using the same measure.
instruction:the action, practice, or profession of teaching
态度:有保留的反对
position:whether the faculty should be required to work outside depends on the courses they teach.
1.in some extent, I agree with the author's statement.In the field of 工程，the professor should work out to improve their teaching level
积累经验
还有医药专业 engineering 历史人类学
2.As to other fields,take the 理论物理 physics for a example,if the faculty work outside the university,it will cause the decrease of the quality of the teaching
3.the other results also should be taken considerd.The most possible consequences is the 向反面发展。作者: arcx 时间: 2007-2-14 16:39:42 标题: 我也不知道怎么改，感觉有点像找碴儿。。
Whether the faculty should be required to work outside should depend on the courses they teach rather than to request all the teachers to obey the same rule. Since the instruction consist（consists） of the action, the practice and the profession of the teaching, (这里这句话解释了instruction的意思，但是感觉因果关系还不是很明显；或者可能是我没能理解这层意思？)
To some extent, I have to agree with the author's statement. In the filed（field）of engineering, it is an effective way to improve teaching level that(it是形式主语，that后的从句是不是应该为一个完整的句子？是否要在encourage前加to?这部分语法我记不清了，你看下最后的注里的例句吧：)。另外teaching level 会不会有chinglish之嫌啊？不过这点仅是我猜测哦) encourage the professors to make use of the part-time in order to accumulate experience relevant to the courses they expert(expert作动词是不及物的哦~这里是不是还要加个介词on?). If an engineer who only knows the knowledge in books occupied the（a）tenure position, the students would earn(learn) less about the practice of this domain and the most advanced outlook. Understandably, the outside work will increase the degree of the professors’ teaching in such state. Another good example is the medical schools, the professor positions are always taken placed(若作词组这是发生的意思，若分开解释，placed是不是可以省略呢？) by the doctors in the hospitals pertain to the schools. The strongest（用most compelling会比较好吧） example to illustrate it is the surgeons. The more they operate surgeries and absorb knowledge from practice, the better they will impart youth. Add to this(这种用法恰当否？), the sociology and anthropology obviously prove it (prove sth.+adj.意为表明某物/事怎么样，若把adv.跟在it后面表达起来不通顺，易造成把adj.错写成adv.的误解吧) as well as（as well）.
As to other fields, take the theoretical physics for example, because of the specific characters of this area, if the faculty work outside the university, it will undoubtedly decrease the quality of the teaching. And such relevant work can hardly be adduced, for this subject seems only to perform well within the brain cells.（意思是好的，表达是否恰当？） Let us take a look at another example from the biological sciences as well. It seems that the most convinced is the quality of the lab's efforts which is almost independent of the outside world. The similar subject is the mathematical researches. It wills unimaginable if the mathematician takes a part time job besides his research.
Other results also should be taken considered(是不是用词组take into consideration比较好呢？). The most possible consequence is waste（wasting） their time, and pay for its whistle at the same time. The energe, power and time are limited, unless the teachers pay more attention to their academic areas, they can not achieve expected level.
There are a multitude methods contributing to the teaching quality include（including） the sufficient facilities, the free academic atmosphere, and the talent individuals etc. It could not only depend on the work of the faculty to enhance the teaching quality. More things should be taken into account besides the complexion discussed above especially; the problem involved (involves)every field in the education, so any requirement should be thought over seriously even more.
In short, we should consider this question according to the variant subjects but not only (如果是要表达“而不是”的意思，but not only貌似是不对的) suggest the whole faculty using the same measure.
注：一、It follows from the principle of relativity that Newton’s second law of motion，although fundamental in classical mechanics，only has an approximate and by no means complete validity．
由相对论原理可知，牛顿运动第二定律尽管是古典力学中的基本原理，但只是近似的，而决不是完全正确的。(It follows from．．．that....，“由……可以得出……”。It是形式主语，代替that引出的主语从句。)
二、改完咯，可能我在改的时候有些理解会和你有出入的，你要跟我说哦，大家好好讨论一下~
三、我是在找碴儿，以上只是我的意见，不一定都正确的，不过我想提出来才能把有疑问的地方搞清楚，so你自己要取其精华，去其糟粕哦~~
四、关于内容方面，我觉得说理还欠缺一点点，例子不必多，说透彻就好；前面的段落不错，但是后面的有点散；老美喜欢一目了然，加些first, on the one hand这些东东可能会比较好~还有，字数我听别人说最好能上五百。不过你在两个小时内写完我已经很佩服了，俺写了一天。。
Whether the faculty should be required to work outside should depends on the courses they teach rather than to request(instead of requesting否则语法不通) all the teachers to obey the same rule. Since the instruction consist of the action, the practice and the profession of the teaching, 这里最好把下面的分论点都提一下，否则就不够明朗了。
To some extent, I have to agree with the author's statement（这句TS太泛了，应该是很直接地将你这一段的观点亮出来，而且最好用从句，或者套句）. In the filed（field) of engineering, it is an effective way to improve teaching level that encourage the professors to make use of the part-time (do some part-time jobs) in order to accumulate experience relevant to the courses they expert. If an engineer who only knows the knowledge in books occupied the tenure position, the students would earn less about the practice of this domain and the most advanced outlook.Understandably, the outside work will increase the degree of the professors’ teaching in such state. Another good example is (from) the medical schools, (句号）the professor positions are always taken placed （去掉/occupied） by the doctors in the hospitals pertain to the schools. The strongest example to illustrate is the surgeons. The more they operate surgeries and absorb knowledge from practice, the better they will impart youth. Add to this, the sociology and anthropology prove it obviously as well as.这里最好再加一个总结句，使这一段完整，否则只有例子还是撑不起来。
这里缺一个TS，一定要有，把后面的例子浓缩一下放上来。As to other fields, take the theoretical physics for example, because of the specific characters of this area, if the faculty work outside the university, it will undoubtedly decrease the quality of the teaching. And such relevant work can hardly be adduced, for this subject seems only to perform well within the brain cells. Let us take a look at another example from the biological sciences as well. It seems that the most convinced（这个什么意思，the most convincing quality?) is the quality of the lab's efforts which is almost independent of the outside world. The similar subject is the mathematical researches. It wills （will be) unimaginable if the mathematician takes a part time job besides his research.(这句话不合适吧，为什么数学家搞兼职是不可思议的，应该是兼职对搞数学理论没有帮助）
Other results also should be taken considered. The most possible consequence is waste their time, and pay for its whistle at the same time. The energe, power and time are limited, unless the teachers pay more attention to their academic areas, they can not achieve the expected level.这段话你想论证什么呢，如果是想说兼职没有益处的话，一定要有总起句，并且强调对大部分搞理论的专业教师来说，兼职没有益处，否则就指向不明，而且空泛了。
It could not only(but also 呢） depend on the work of the faculty to enhance the teaching quality. More things should be taken into account besides the complexion discussed above.There are a multitude methods contributing to the teaching quality include（including) the sufficient facilities, the free academic atmosphere, and the talent individuals
Etc.这句话放在这似乎更好，可以做论据使，否则就虚悬在句首了。Especially; the problem involved every field in the education（这半句不成句子）, so any requirement should be thought over seriously even more.
In short, we should consider this question accord to the variant subjects but not only suggest the whole faculty using the same measure.（结尾太单薄了，应该把几个分论点再说一遍，改一改句首的话填回来也可以。）