ARGUMENT145
In this argument, the arguer recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. In order to support his recommendation, the arguer holds several assumptions which seems well presented. However, those assumptions contain logical flaws which make his conclusion unconvincing as it stands.
First of all, the arguer trys to convince us that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. He assume a cause and effect relationship between snore and gain weight by a deduction that since people snore, they will happen to get in a condition named sleep apnea and result in lack of exercise, and at last end up to become fat. However, there is no evidence show that snore is the serve to everything because what if it is the people who gain weight first and then they get in trouble of sleeping. For example, the extra fat press respiratory organs lead to snore. Groundless if the arguer cannot offer us more reliable convey or data.
Secondly, the arguer implies that the interrupiton of breathing called sleep apnea wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. But after then an ironical thing happens. The arguer cites the interruption is often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed which means no one can tell exactly whether or not the sleep apnea really exists. Even if it is the truth that the snorers often wake in their sleeping, no evidence show the interruption do harm to their daytime energy. Account for its unnotice and transitory, sleep apnea maybe too little to influence people's exercise quality.
Thirdly, the arguer concludes that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. There might be due instead to one or more factors for people to gain weight. Perhaps it is a genetic characteristic from family, perhaps it is a phisical type that even if they eat like an ant and exercise from day to night, they cannot lose a pound. Besides, no evidence can tell the people who snore are eating more than the averge person or exercising less. On the contrary, maybe they are always paying attention to the diet and doing sports frequently. Only when the speaker can provide more solid evidence concerning gaining weight thing, the speaker's conclusion cannot be properly drawn.
In conclusion, this argument is absent of more sufficient analysis and is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the arguer should select more reliable evidence and must account for all related factors that could result in fat and snoring. Also useful if the arguer give us information about any hints which prove the sleep apnea.作者: aliyah 时间: 2007-2-16 14:20:09
In this argument, the arguer recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. In order to support his recommendation, the arguer holds several assumptions which seems well presented. However, those assumptions contain logical flaws which make his conclusion unconvincing as it stands.
(开头简洁 明了 不错)
First of all, the arguer trys to convince us that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. He assume a cause and effect relationship between snore and gain weight(snoring and gaining weight by a deduction that since people snore, they will happen to get in a condition named sleep apnea and result in lack of exercise, and at last end up to become fat(end up in). However, there is no evidence show that snore is the serve to everything because what if it is the people who gain weight first and then they get in trouble of sleeping(这句话感觉有些怪,what if those people who have gained weight before getting troule of sleep. For example, the extra fat press respiratory organs lead to snore. Groundless if the arguer cannot offer us more reliable convey(convey? survey吧) or data.
Secondly, the arguer implies that the interrupiton of breathing called sleep apnea wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. But after then an ironical thing happens. The arguer cites the interruption is often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed which means no one can tell exactly whether or not the sleep apnea really exists. Even if it is the truth that the snorers often wake in their sleeping, no evidence show the interruption do harm to their daytime energy. Account for its unnotice and transitory, sleep apnea maybe too little to influence(have little influence on the) people's exercise quality.
Thirdly, the arguer concludes that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. There might be due instead(这个instead在这里why?) to one or more factors for people to gain weight. Perhaps it is a genetic characteristic from family, perhaps it is a phisical type that even if they eat like an ant(呵呵 这个比喻用在这里是不是不太正式?) and exercise from day to night, they cannot lose a pound. Besides, no evidence can tell the people who snore are eating more than the averge person or exercising less. On the contrary, maybe they are always paying attention to the diet and doing sports frequently. Only when the speaker can provide more solid evidence concerning gaining weight thing, the speaker's conclusion cannot be properly drawn.
In conclusion, this argument is absent of more sufficient analysis and is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster(似乎大家都喜欢用bolster这个词了...) it the arguer should select more reliable evidence and must account for all related factors that could result in fat and snoring. Also useful if the arguer give us information about any hints which prove the sleep apnea.
ARGUMENT145
In this argument, the arguer recommends that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. In order to support his recommendation, the arguer holds several assumptions which seems well presented. However, those assumptions contain logical flaws which make his conclusion unconvincing as it stands.
第一段写的挺不错的，这样的风格就可以固定下来了，呵呵！
First of all, the arguer trys to convince us that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. He assume a cause and effect relationship between snore and gain weight by a deduction that since people snore, they will happen to get in a condition named sleep apnea and result in lack of exercise, and at last end up to become fat. 前面这一大段话我觉得完全可以压缩成一句，只要提出作者的逻辑错误就ok, 而我觉得后面才是你要论证的核心，应该下大笔墨 However, there is no evidence show that snore is the serve to everything because what if it is the people who gain weight first and then they get in trouble of sleeping. 意思明白了，但是好象表达有点问题 For example, the extra fat press respiratory organs lead to snore. Groundless if the arguer cannot offer us more reliable convey or data.
这段的观点没想到，挺不错的，学习！例子挺到位，可以在加一些铺垫
Secondly, the arguer implies that the interrupiton of breathing called sleep apnea wakes the person and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. But after then an ironical thing happens. The arguer cites the interruption is often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed which means no one can tell exactly whether or not the sleep apnea really exists. 驳呼吸暂停不存在，好象不太合适吧，毕竟作者已经说了他是被公认的，我觉得作者的意思是个体很难感觉的到，但通过一些研究已经被证实，这并不矛盾 Even if it is the truth that the snorers often wake in their sleeping, no evidence show the interruption do harm to their daytime energy.后面可以展开写，为什么没有影响 Account for its unnotice and transitory, sleep apnea maybe too little to influence people's exercise quality.
Thirdly, the arguer concludes that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. There might be due instead to one or more factors for people to gain weight. Perhaps it is a genetic characteristic from family, perhaps 遗传因素和体质是一会事，前后两句是递进展开的关系，加一个关联词就行 it is a phisical type that even if they eat like an ant and exercise from day to night, they cannot lose a pound. Besides, no evidence can tell the people who snore are eating more than the averge person or exercising less. 感觉你是有点偷换了概念，作者是建议要吃的少，并不是说他们吃的比平常人多呀 On the contrary, maybe they are always paying attention to the diet and doing sports frequently. Only when the speaker can provide more solid evidence concerning gaining weight thing, the speaker's conclusion cannot be properly drawn.
In conclusion, this argument is absent of more sufficient analysis and is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the arguer should select more reliable evidence and must account for all related factors that could result in fat and snoring. Also useful if the arguer give us information about any hints which prove the sleep apnea.最后一段也不错