51 "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student." [05/90; 06/7]
只有针对每个学生的需要和兴趣,教育才真正的有意义
connie:
The speaker contends that only when education is specifically designed to meet every student's demands and interests can it become truly effective. In my observation I agree with the speaker's contention in most of the cases since the aim of education is blablabla(随便默一段教育的意义).
connie:
However, since students are too young to make crucial decision and discover their talent and interest, meeting students' unsatiable demands would also be dangerous.
connie:
对。第二段:student-centered education can most effectively involve not only individual students but also teachers in the learning process. 讲了几点,讲按照兴趣改造教育,学生所受的益处;老师在设计课程的过程中,会觉得自己的工作变得充满了challenge and vitality;再讲讲对未来职业的益处;最后我提了一句话,孙远工具箱里的,讲教育的作用,这句感觉很提档的。 这段里也举了点很短的一句话例子,都是具体学科的例子。
connie:
恩,我就是沾了提纲的光.
第三段论证,meeting students' unreasonable desires would only result in chaos in education. 举了两个例子,其中一个是随着天文学成为热门,很多学生认为astronomer会是很受人尊敬并且刺激的职业,因此他们不管自己的兴趣爱好而一窝蜂地报考天文专业,这样十分盲目;另一个例子记不清了,无非和第一个例子说的一个道理。最后小小总结一句,整段结束。在这一段中,我用的例证占主导,而单纯说理占辅。至于怎样转入这个话题的,我记得当时没有具体的转折句,直接蹦到第三段的.
lastangel:
恩接下来说说看你的ARGUMENT吧。
235.The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station. "Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics."
若干因素表明KNOW电台应该把它的节目从摇滚乐转成连续的新闻节目。举例来说,我们覆盖范围内的老年人数量显著增加,而总的听众数量最近减少了。而且,我们地区音像店中录制音乐的销量下降。最后,邻近城市的连续新闻节目非常成功,最近大选前组织的一次调查显示,本地居民对于及时的政治报导很感兴趣。
能说下你都找了哪几点错误么?
connie:
第一处,the number of older people in our listening area has increased dramatically, while the total number of our listeners has recently declined.逻辑错误为Specious evidence. 老人数量增加不表明rock and roll music没市场;总听众数量减少不表明rock and roll music的听众数量减少以及continuous news format受欢迎。
第二处,music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. 依然为Specious evidence。Recorded music数量下降不表明rock and roll music销售数量下降。
第三处+第四处,continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful, and a survey taken just before the recent election shows that local citizens are interested in becoming better informed about politics 逻辑错误:false analogy(两个地方不好比的)以及specious evidence. 而调查不具说明性,因为是在大选前组织的,而且对政治包干兴趣不表明对news感兴趣。就是说在大选前人们本来就倾向于对政治关心,作者缺乏对平时群众关注政治程度的调查,所以不可信。另外,对于政治信息的获得渠道很多,人们不一定欢迎电台的continuous news format形式。考场上我大概就是按照这两小点批驳的
我的第三处和第四处逻辑错误写在了一段,因为这两点错误出现在了原文的一句话中。
connie:
比如说第一个逻辑错误:One problem with the argument is that the author unreasonably assumes that the growth of the number of older people and the decrease of the number of total listeners would automatically lead to the neglection of rock-and-roll music and the welcome of continuous news format.However, the reasons are too vague and oversimplified. First, the author indicates that the number of older people in that area is increasing, but fails to indicate that those older people prefer news rather than rock-and-roll music. It is entirely possible that old people living in that area are fond of rock-and-roll music and they would like to spend much time on listening to the broadcase of rock-and-roll muisc. Also, while the total number of listener decreased, the percentage of the listeners who prefer music format might still keep a high record. So if KNOW changes its direction, it might lose most of its listeners. Without considering and ruling out the possibilities such as these, the author's recommendation cannot be taken seriously.
离考完很远了,写的肯定不如从前好了。但是基本框架就是这个样子吧~~~~
lastangel:
我觉得具体说明错误这步很精妙,就是First, the author indicates that the number of older people in that area is increasing, but fails to indicate that those older people prefer news rather than rock-and-roll music. 这句话,大部分的模版化ARGUMENT是写不出这么精确的攻击的。
connie:
这句话貌似是我偶尔瞄了一眼北美学来的。the author indicates ..., but fails to indicate ...
connie:
我模考时经常用让步。考试时觉得前两个逻辑错误之间没有明显让步所以没用。第三四个逻辑错误之前我貌似是用了让步假设,用Even if ..., the author fails to ...这样的句式完成的。个人觉得这样做还是很拉风的~~~~其实我要说的是,这篇文章我觉得不是很适合用让步假设,不过用一用也无妨吗~~~
有关ARGUMENT:
1、抽象概括+具体举例。大家应该能注意到在访谈过程中我对于CONNIE把作者的错误很抽象地概括出来那句话进行的评价——这句话的出现让我把她的思路和6分的官方范文联系到了一起。而抽象概括并不是笼统概括,我改过的很多作文往往会来一句false analogy或者hasty generalization,但具体是什么不说情,为什么错也不说清楚,直接转入具体的可能性,这样使文章深度不够,精度不够。
2、说明清楚,表达到位。在整个采访过程中CONNIE给我的感觉就是对我所问的每句话都做出非常具体的回应,把问题说的很清楚,而这种表达习惯也渗透到了ARGUMENT中,从她写出那段话不难看出,她在利用例证时将例证的作用发挥充分,不是象很多同学那样泛泛的说Perhaps...if it is true, then the author is wrong. 而是很specific的指出它因存在后的后果。