Peopleare influenced greatly by the nonmainstream superstition when they can not findsatisfying answers to explain some of the mysterious phenomenon in nature. Thenonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic andparanormal pursuits naturally become a substitute, though wrongly.你的观点在哪？？？As human still feel unpredictable about their fate, fortune-telling enterssome of common families. （短首提出观点，段尾深化）For instance,the sudden lost of their beloved ones in the family making people to thinkwhether this is doomed to happen sometime in their life. Is there a way tochange their fates? Many people choose to ask the fortune-teller for help.Fortune-telling become a profitable industry with full of lies. All thefortune-tellers need to do is to fudge and collecting money for themselves. Fortunately,as the knowledge of science accessible to every household, the things improve alot. There are less and less people asking for the fortune-tellers forpredication and protection. They know they can get hold of their own fate. 这一段是不是有一个渐进的观点，还是有两个观点？？你是不是舍不得后面的观点，但是它和下一段不能递进！！！Furthermore, the today's technology can not explain everything happened inthe world. There are enormous obscurities in the universe. We are eager to knowwhat is happening in the space. To cater the need of some people, astrologycame and connected people in the earth with the stars in the sky. There aremany falsified assertions, such as one of the stars in the sky is correspondentwith one person in the earth. If the star falls down, one person passed away inthe earth. Luckily many of them have been proved to be false with theincreasing knowledge learned in astronomy. Of course, as long as we are notprepared to answer all the questions posed by human, astrology will keeptelling lies.
Admittedly, mainstream science can not solve all the problems becausesometimes there is not a role for us to follow in the nature. In China,recently, as the stock market keeps going up early this year. A multitude ofpeople become a stock holder hoping to earn some money from the bull market. Aswe all know the stock market can not keep rising every day, but fluctuates.Many stock holders would rather to believe the stock market can be predicted.Then catering for the need of these people, a cunning person write lots ofanalysis article on the stock in his blog, which causes he become the realleader in stock market. Over 1000 people who cherish a dream of money keepingrolling in become his followers with handing in over 300 dollars to become anaudience of his market analysis until he was arrested. Thus, we can not rely onscience to settle all the problems. It needs time to witness the change inhuman's mind.第三段是让步了，目的是不让人认为你是one-side，但是在最后的结尾中，你的观点有何前面的不是很一致In sum, as I mentioned, nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology,fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits will pale out of thehistorical stage, mainstream science is taking over with the increasinglyadvanced technology. But mainstream science can never completely substitute thenonmainsteam areas which are sure to still have a small space to live on.
语言绝对没问题，很流畅，但是文章的思路给人的感觉有点乱，呵呵，观点要鲜明，立场要坚定！！！
Issue41 [0710G-直接冲刺小组] 第6次作业 by happiecookie
TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."WORDS: 511 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2007-7-21 20:41:52People are influenced greatly by the nonmainstream superstition when they can not find satisfying answers to explain some of the mysterious phenomenon in nature. The nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits naturally become a substitute（of mainstream science）, though wrongly.
(TS)As human still feel unpredictable about their fate, fortune-telling enters some of common families. For instance, the sudden lost of their beloved ones in the family making(makes) people to think whether this is doomed to happen sometime in their life. Is there a way to change their fates? Many people choose to ask the fortune-teller for help. Fortune-telling become a profitable industry with full of lies. All the fortune-tellers need to do is to fudge and collecting money for themselves. Fortunately, as the knowledge of science accessible to every household, the things improve a lot. There are less and less people asking for the fortune-tellers for predication and protection. They know they can get hold of their own fate.Furthermore, the today's technology can not explain everything happened in the world. There are enormous obscurities in the universe. We are eager to know what is happening in the space. To cater the need of some people, astrology came and connected people in the earth with the stars in the sky. There are many falsified assertions, such as one of the stars in the sky is correspondent with one person in the earth. If the star falls down, one person passed away in the earth. Luckily many of them have been proved to be false with the increasing knowledge learned in astronomy. (TS)Of course, as long as we are not prepared to answer all the questions posed by human, astrology will keep telling lies.
(I think in this paragraph, your main idea is opposite the nonmainstream science, although in the first sentence it is likely that you want to support the nonmainstram. So I suggest you to put the TS in the first of this paragraph.)
(TS)Admittedly, mainstream science can not solve all the problems because sometimes there is not a role for us to follow in the nature. In China, recently, as the stock market keeps going up early this year. A multitude of people become a stock holder hoping to earn some money from the bull market. As we all know the stock market can not keep rising every day, but(without) fluctuates(fluctuations). Many stock holders would rather to believe the stock market can be predicted. Then catering for the need of these people, a cunning person write lots of analysis article on the stock in his blog, which causes he become the real leader in stock market. Over 1000 people who cherish a dream of money keeping rolling in become his followers with handing in over 300 dollars to become an audience of his market analysis until he was arrested. Thus, we can not rely on science to settle all the problems. It needs time to witness the change in human's mind.
(the example in this paragraph is fresh and generally good. But there is no evidence that the people based on his analysis on science or principles in stock market. Maybe you should provide such information to make your issue more convincing)In sum, as I mentioned, nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits will pale out of the historical stage, mainstream science is taking over with the increasingly advanced technology. But mainstream science can never completely substitute the nonmainsteam areas which are sure to still have a small space to live on.
| 欢迎光临 寄托家园留学论坛 (https://bbs.gter.net/) | Powered by Discuz! X2 |