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标题: 9t 第八次作业 [打印本页]

作者: xulifengbee 时间: 2007-7-25 08:57:17 标题: 9t 第八次作业

For an employer, there is always a dilemma: an inexperienced worker with low salary but also with low ability, or an experienced worker with higher cost? Many enterprisers would like to hire experienced employees for they can make value as soon as possible. However I personally hold opposite opinion.

Firstly, fresher do not need to cost much to feed. An inexperienced one's salary can be easily controlled at a low level compared with specialized worker. In my country, students who just graduate from university, can only earn 1500/month in average. It is a very reasonable cost for employer, though training is necessary. At the same time the salary for old staff sometimes will be a big problem. To some extend, the salary for staff is linked to their experience, so the experienced one will get a good wage

Otherwise, newer can be easily forged into what kind of worker the enterpriser need. Their potentials are endless. In such a world, most inventions are developed by youngest who do not have much experience. It is not too hard to understand that youngest have the power of innovation. Sometimes the experience will be an obstacle on the way to creation. One of my teachers told me that young means creation.

The last reason is inexperienced workers are easy to get. Every year hundreds of thousands graduate leave from their universities or colleges into society to search working positions. Many of them will ask enterprise to give them a chance to work. As an experienced one, the situation is totally different. They have worked for many years to get an important position with high salary. It is very hard to capture them from another company. Attracting newer is much easier.

Obviously, it is the best choice to hire an inexperienced worker for all the reasons above.

第一次写到300+的字数:loveliness:

作者: optoAz 时间: 2007-7-26 12:14:40

For an employer, there is always a dilemma: an inexperienced worker with low salary but also with low ability, or an experienced worker with higher cost? Many enterprisers would like to hire experienced employees for they can make value as soon as possible. However I personally hold opposite opinion.

Firstly, fresher do not need to cost much to feed(feed..可以这么用么？感觉这个词主要是用作饲养动物或者没有生活能力的幼儿，似乎和ｌｚ想要表达的意思有点差距). An inexperienced one's salary can be easily controlled at a low level compared with specialized worker. In my country, students who just graduate from university, can only earn 1500/month in average. It is a very reasonable cost for employer, though training is necessary. At the same time the salary for old staff sometimes will be a big problem. To some extend, the salary for staff is linked to their experience, so the experienced one will get a good wage
感觉楼主用词很多样化，很好。比如old staff, specialized worker, employee等等变换都不错。段间小词的过度用的不错呢。

Otherwise（这个词用在段首比较少吧？可能是我没怎么见过，所以觉得有点别扭）, newer（new comer） can be easily forged into what（） kind of worker the enterpriser need. Their potentials are endless. In such a world, most inventions are developed by youngest who do not have much experience. It is not too hard to understand that youngest have the power of innovation. Sometimes the experience will be an obstacle on the way to creation. One of my teachers told me that young means creation.
这一段如果可能的话，加上一点具体例子，比如什么什么大公司都是由没做过这一行的人凭借创造精神发展起来的之类。单纯的理论描述，说有时候经验反而会成为创新的阻碍并不是很足以说服人。

The last reason is inexperienced workers are easy to get. Every year hundreds of thousands graduate leave from their universities or colleges into society to search working positions. Many of them will ask enterprise to give them a chance to work. As an experienced one, the situation is totally different. They have worked for many years to get an important position with high salary. It is very hard to capture them from another company. Attracting newer is much easier.

Obviously, it is the best choice to hire an inexperienced worker for all the reasons above.
总体写的挺好滴，楼主几个论点和我都很类似，我们英雄所见完全相同啊。
中心很明确，主题句突出。。
是不是可以考虑以后段落适当加上一个结尾句，一可以凑字数，二可以使逻辑结构更严谨呢？
此外，词语替换用的不错，段间过度词用的也很好。。

作者: optoAz 时间: 2007-7-26 12:15:44

没看到楼主的口语啊。是发录音给我还是贴文字版本的捏？
ｐｓ：我的口语也补上了，麻烦楼主去俺帖子里修改一下，谢谢～
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

作者: xulifengbee 时间: 2007-7-28 08:07:59 标题: 回复 #3 optoAz 的帖子

口语我从第九次开始发录音了之前还不是很清楚怎么做，所以从第九次开始的谢谢夸奖了:) 我现在的确在烦怎么写最后的主题句，总是感觉已经讲了这么多了讲不出来了

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