TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 498 TIME: 21：00 DATE: 2008-1-18
I agree with the speaker that scandals can focus our eye-sight and sometimes on a few problems, since we are living in such a complicate world with too many troubles. However, to say they are useful and can do what speaker or reformer cannot is partial and dubious.
When we research our psychology, it can be found that we are always interested in what have not been known. It is so curious of us that once a scandal is covered, we cannot help to focus on it to see what we don not know is happened. One fact cannot be denied is that scandals might lead us to care about them, which reflect some problems. Taking Mr. Bill Clinton’s sex scandal as an example, it is widely realized and it mentioned us the problem that dishonesty still exists in such a dishonesty-hatred society when he said he had no relationship with Ms Lewinsky.
However, even though scandals might absorb people’s eyes, when they are reading a scandal, it is not been taken seriously. In most cases, scandals are treated as an entertainment. People read them just treat them as a way to relax after their busy daily working life and take them as a fun. After they read the scandals, they forget them a few days later. Not everyone can bring us a scandal like what Mr. Clinton brought us. There are scandals covered almost everyday in many fields, but how many do we remember now?
Query whether these scandals can evoke our mind to think about the problems which they reflect, given some enormous scandals can be remembered. We have to accept the reality that people are always inert in their mind. As they take the scandals as an entertainment, it is doomed that they will not tend to think whether there’re some problems conceal in the scandals. We have to say it is a pity that they are almost useless in making problems been focused. Case like Mr. Clinton and dishonest problem which we found is seldom happened.
What’s more, a passionate speaker or reformer can definitely do what scandals cannot. A great speaker’s speech is also widely mentioned, and a success speech can absolutely evoke people’s realization in problems, for a speaker can hold a speech just with a topic which covers one special problem. We will never forget parades happened many times which fought for racial discrimination in 1960s.Lots of them are caused by speeches full of passion. I believe everyone do remember the influence of the terrific oration ‘I have a dream’. However, we nearly never remember a social action which is caused by a scandal.
In sum, although we should admit scandals focus our attention to some level, we have to claim that they are useless in most occasions and they don’t own many functions what speaker and reformer do, let alone instead them, because of what I wrote. We should be prudent in the way of treating the function of scandals.
Issue185 [Jet]小组第一次作业
TOPIC: ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
WORDS: 498 TIME: 21：00 DATE: 2008-1-18
I agree with the speaker that scandals can focus our eye-sight and sometimes（没有等同的双方怎么能用and？focus …on….在谓语动词和介词中间插入个and有点莫名奇妙，虽然按中文读起来很顺） on a few problems, since we are living in such a complicate world with too many troubles. However, to say they are useful and can do what speaker or reformer cannot is partial and dubious.
When we research our psychology, it can be found that we are always interested in what have not been known. It is so curious of us that once a scandal is covered, we cannot help to focus on it to see what we don not know is happened（用主动，不应该被动）. One fact cannot be denied（定语从句中，前置名词做主语which不能省略） is that scandals might lead us to care about them, which reflect some problems. Taking Mr. Bill Clinton’s sex scandal as an example, (这种句型用错了，前面的从句的主语是人，后面的主语也应该是人，你可以这么说take….and it is或者变换主语使前后一致) it is widely realized and it mentioned（这个词用的有问题，不能接us，用that同位语从句） us the problem that dishonesty still exists in such a dishonesty-hatred society when he said he had no relationship with Ms Lewinsky.
However, even though scandals might absorb people’s eyes, when they（they是谁？丑闻还是眼球？我明白你想说人，但是前面的从句中没有可以用they指代的） are reading a scandal, it is not been（到底是被动还是完成？has） taken seriously. In most cases, scandals are treated as an entertainment. People read them just treat（中间加and） them as a way to relax after their busy daily working life and take them as a fun. After they read the scandals, they （would）forget them a few days later. Not everyone can bring us a scandal like what Mr. Clinton brought us. There are scandals covered (又一次出现一句话中出现两个谓语动词的情况)almost everyday in many fields, but how many do we remember now?
Query whether these scandals can evoke our mind to think about the problems which they reflect, given some enormous（形容数量上大，而不是程度上严重） scandals can be remembered. We have to accept the reality that people are always inert in their mind. As they take the scandals as an entertainment, it is doomed that they will not tend to think whether there’re some problems conceal in the scandals. We have to say it is a pity that they are almost useless in making problems been focused. Case like Mr. Clinton and dishonest problem（两个用复数） which we found is seldom happened（主动）.
What’s more, a passionate speaker or reformer can definitely do what scandals cannot. A great speaker’s speech is also widely mentioned, and a success（successful） speech can absolutely evoke people’s realization in problems, for a speaker can hold a speech just with a topic which covers one special problem. We will never forget parades happened many times which fought for racial discrimination in 1960s.Lots of them are caused by speeches full of passion. I believe everyone do remember the influence of the terrific oration ‘I have a dream’. However, we nearly never remember a social action which is caused by a scandal.
In sum, although we should（去掉） admit scandals focus our attention to some level（to some extent）, we have to claim that they are useless in most occasions and they don’t own many functions what speaker and reformer do, let alone instead them, because of what I wrote. We should be prudent in the way of treating the function of scandals.
(新手，初学之类的客气话不说了。我建议你写作文的时候多用native speaker的语言，比如可以套用已有的句型来写；用自己的话改为英语会出现很多表达上的错误，你有很多的句子属于chinese-english ,我读下来就跟中文一样的语序，而且AW主要还是考察思想，而美国人很重视例子，你例子太少，说理性的太多，总之这篇文章很中国化，我看了你给我改的文章，其实你给我指出的用词或者句型上的错误，我有些是用的美国人写的范文上的语言，所以说我们自己编句子时会出现很多我们无法辨别的错误，我也这样，所以再次强烈建议你仿照句子来写，这样才能提高，你觉得呢？)