impulse作文小组 生活类 周三作业

迷茫者UID: 2514662

2006 年7 月29 日

some people think it's more important to spend more time working than being with families , 你的观点?

It has long been a controversial issue about which is more important between family and work. Different people hold different opinions. Some assert that work outweighs the family, so we should spend more time working. From my point of view, I tend to place a high value on being with family. I will explain my opinion based on the following reasons.

First of all, spending more time being with family could promote the relationship between you and family members, which tremendously contributes to developing a happy and harmonious family. However, a lot of people nowadays do not seem to pay enough attention to it. And then quarrel even divorce between husband and wife has been increasingly common. Kids used to be left alone home without guardian. The older are also forced to take care for themselves after receiving so called pension from their adult children. In china, these strange and ridiculous social phenomena are not unusual. The radical reason causing these situations is the lack of adequate time to stay with family.

In the next place, a nicer family situation is beneficial to working better. Human beings are natural emotional animals. Their mood could easily be influenced by other things. So if they get into trouble about family problems, they hardly can concentrate on their work. In other words, although you spend a great amount of time on work, your work efficiency will not very high or, probably, quite low. Take my personal experience for example. Every time after quarreled with my parents, I always feel quite terrible as if there is a huge stone pressing on my heart. Nothing could make me happy. At the same time, there is no interest in work and study. On the contrary, if you have a good psychosis namely without annoyance from family, your work will be more efficient than usual.

Last but not least, we should understand exactly that work is endless; you can not finish up forever. So why do not you can squeeze a small part of work time to be with your family, it will not affect your work a lot, but it can totally shorten the distance between you and your family members, especially for your kids. Maybe your final intention of hard work is just to enable your family to lead better lives materially rather than the reputation and money. Whereas what they really want, actually, is simply getting along with you long time.

Taking all above-mentioned reasons into consideration, we can see how important it is to being with family. It could not only promote your relationship between you and your family members also could contribute to your work. Most importantly, family is the one we could not afford to ignore and miss.

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

It has long been a controversial issue about which is more important between family and work. Different people hold different opinions. Some assert that work outweighs the family, so we should spend more time working. From my point of view, I tend to place a high value on being with family. I will explain my opinion based on the following reasons.

First of all, spending more time being with family could promote（enhance好一点）the relationship between you and family members, which tremendously contributes to developing a happy and harmonious family（develop a family有点怪，用develop a harmonious ambiance好一点）. However, a lot of people nowadays do not seem to pay enough attention to it. And then quarrel even divorce between husband and wife （去掉between husband and wife）has been increasingly common. Kids used to be left alone home (left home alone副词不要放到谓语和宾语中间)without guardian（custodian不知道是不是这样拼。guardian用在这里不太合适）. The older are also forced to take care for （of）themselves after receiving so called pension(financial aid会不会好一点，感觉pension是官方的养老金) from their adult children. In china, these strange and ridiculous social phenomena are not unusual（unusual和前面strange以及ridiculous意思有点重复，用rare或者seldom好一点）. The radical reason causing（of） these situations is the lack of adequate time to stay with family.

In the next place, a nicer family situation is beneficial to working better(a better working). Human beings are natural (and)emotional animals(creatures). Their mood could easily be influenced by other things. So if they get into trouble about family problems, they hardly can(can hardly) concentrate on their work. In other words, although you spend a great amount of time on work, your work efficiency will not (be)very high or, probably, quite low. Take my personal experience for example. Every time after quarreled (是否用quarreling?不是很确定)with my parents, I always feel quite terrible as if there is a huge stone pressing on my heart. Nothing could make me happy. At the same time, there is no interest in work and study. On the contrary, if you have a good psychosis （psychosis太学术了。用in good moods or in a fair mental situation）namely without annoyance from family, your work will be more efficient than usual.

Last but not least, we should understand exactly that work is endless(work is an endless task); you can not finish up forever. So why do not you can (去掉can)squeeze a small part of work time to be with your family, it will not affect your work a lot, but it can totally shorten the distance between you and your family members, especially for your kids. Maybe your final intention of hard work is just to enable your family to lead better lives materially rather than the reputation and money(materially和money就是一个意思都是物质条件的意思。所以这句话楼主要修改一下). Whereas what they really want, actually, is simply getting along with you(for longer) long time.

Taking all above-mentioned reasons into consideration, we can see how important it is to being with family. It(This action/choice) could not only promote your relationship between you and your family members also could contribute to your work. Most importantly, family is the one we could not afford to ignore and miss.

楼主的思路总是很清晰。学习了。

另外请问一下，toefl作文是否讲究结构对称的？

迷茫者UID: 2514662

谢谢了~~~~呵呵  20多点时间 我是想到什么用什么了~写完都是裸冲的
更本没修改~~~~看来 错误很多啊~~~
继续努力~~~~~~~~~~~~~

迷茫者UID: 2514662

词汇方面 改的很细~~~~~受教了

迷茫者UID: 2514662

你只的是中间3段论点段的结构吗~~~~
也可以不用那么对称~~~~3个论点 可以有重有轻~~~但比较难控制~~

19811010316UID: 2220703

It has long been a controversial issue about which is more important between family and work. Different people hold different opinions. Some assert that work outweighs the family, so we should spend more time working. From my point of view, I tend to place a high value on being with family. I will explain my opinion based on the following reasons.

First of all, spending more time being with family could promote the relationship between you and family members, which tremendously contributes to developing a happy and harmonious family. However, a lot of people nowadays do not seem to pay enough attention to it. And then quarrel even divorce between husband and wife has been increasingly common. Kids used to be left alone home without guardian. The older are also forced to take care for themselves after receiving so called pension from their adult children. In china, these strange and ridiculous social phenomena are not unusual. The radical reason causing these situations is the lack of adequate time to stay with family.

In the next place, a nicer family situation is beneficial to working better. Human beings are natural emotional animals. Their mood could easily be influenced by other things. So if they get into trouble about family problems, they hardly can concentrate on their work. In other words, although you spend a great amount of time on work, your work efficiency will not very high or, probably, quite low. Take my personal experience for example. Every time after quarreled with my parents, I always feel quite terrible as if there is a huge stone pressing on my heart. Nothing could make me happy. At the same time, there is no interest in work and study. On the contrary, if you have a good psychosis namely without annoyance from family, your work will be more efficient than usual.

Last but not least, we should understand exactly that work is endless; you can not finish up forever. So why do not you can squeeze a small part of work time to be with your family, it will not affect your work a lot, but it can totally shorten the distance between you and your family members, especially for your kids. Maybe your final intention of hard work is just to enable your family to lead better lives materially rather than the reputation and money. Whereas what they really want, actually, is simply getting along with you long time.

Taking all above-mentioned reasons into consideration, we can see how important it is to being with family. It could not only promote your relationship between you and your family members also could contribute to your work. Most importantly, family is the one we could not afford to ignore and miss.

写得非常好，看来你的开头和结尾基本定框了。

进步很快阿。

给你5.5

迷茫者UID: 2514662

恩 开头结尾磨的差不多了

gabby19832004UID: 2461820

是啊。一直迷茫着.