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附件: 大家跟我从Friends里学红宝单词的使用.doc (2009-8-31 15:16:58, 420 KB) / 下载次数 4826Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
(They all run and join her at the window.)
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Ross: Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.
Rachel: Ohh, I'm gonna miss that big old squishy butt.
Ross: (entering) What's going on?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Ross: What?! What?!
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Monica: You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute?
Chandler: Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
Monica: Okay, now you're even cuter!!
Chandler: Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Ross: Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants.
Rachel: Oh.
Ross: No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Chandler: Are you serious?
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Chandler: (a little hurt) Okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps—She knows!
Monica: Unless…
Joey: No! Not unless! Look this must end now!
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So…
Chandler: Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
Phoebe: Eh?
Chandler: Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce but—I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first.
Joey: All right! Here we go! 1999! The year of Joey!
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Joey: What's the matter?!
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know…
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room, or?
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Phoebe: Ooh! That's a good one! Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Ross: (entering, with Ben) Hi!
Ben: Hi!
Monica: Hi Ben!
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Ross: (in ecstasy) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….
Phoebe: Yeah, well, y'know maybe you just need to try a little harder!
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big…
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Monica: We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry.
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Joey: You don't know!
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: (gasps) YOU KNOW!!!!
Rachel: AND YOU KNOW!!!
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathy’s play.]
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
Ross: People can hear you.
Chandler: I know!!
Kathy's Co-Star: Is that an expensive blouse?
Kathy: If you want it to be.
(Kathy’s co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandler’s mouth is on the floor.)
Ross: Here’s your girlfriend’s button. (Holding the button.)
(Rachel enters)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just…(Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it)…throw your purses at it.
Rachel: Bloomingdale’s eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)
Joey: (entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You can’t eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
Joey: (Holding a turkey leg) There’s gravy?
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, that’s your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
Monica: What are you doing?
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathy’s play?
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin’ guy.
Chandler: Yeah, it’s like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Phoebe: That’s a good idea for a business!
Chandler: I’m totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then they’re gonna go to their cast parties and he’s gonna try to undermine me. Y'know it’ll be like, "So where’s your boyfriend, what’s-his-name, Chester?" And she’ll go, "No-no-no, it’s Chandler." And he’ll go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Chandler: All right, look, look, what am I gonna do?
Joey: Chandler, look they’re actors. They’re there to do a job, just ‘cause they work together, doesn’t mean they’re gonna get together. I mean just ‘cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen with them.
Ross: Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.
Joey: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: Well okay, so then you’re fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as it’s hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. It’s when the heat goes away, that’s when you’re in trouble.
Chandler: Really?
Joey: Look, you guys have been to every play I’ve ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage?
Ross: No.
Joey: Noooo!!
Chandler: Okay, okay, but don’t worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which I’m fairly certain are the same thing.
Ross: Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
Monica: (laughs) Please, it’s a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Rachel: Hi!
Joshua: Hi, I’m Joshua.
Rachel: Hi, I’m Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife…
Rachel: Oh, I’m so sorry.
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Chandler: I’m right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now there’s no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Ross: All right, let’s not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Kathy: Clearly, I’m having sex with him?
Chandler: Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. You’re accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joey’s.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Monica: Nah, I got it.
Rachel: Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joey’s.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. It’s just so frustrating!
Phoebe: Why don’t you ask him out?
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! That’s such a turn-on!
Rachel: Really? It doesn’t seem desperate?
Joey: Oh-ooh, that’s the turn-on.
Chandler: That’s not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the oy heat.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There’s a lot of theories that didn’t pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.
Chandler: Oh my God!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she should’ve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Joey: Okay, for next time, what do you say?
Rachel: I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.
Phoebe: How? How is your fault?
Chandler: Because, I-I should’ve called! Y’know if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never would’ve gone out with Nick, and they would’ve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Ross: Well, if-if she thought they were on a break…
Phoebe: (To Chandler) We’re practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.)
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Ross: I’m sorry, it’s just one of my last nights together before she leaves for camp—to be a counselor!
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: Uh-uh—Wow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesn’t really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, I’m the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: That’s not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Rachel: See? Now, he could date her.
Monica: Hi guys.
Chandler: (To Monica) You are beautiful.
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) What’s going on?
Rachel: (breaking up) We’re just really…very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Phoebe: So now what’s going on here?
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Second Dorm Guy: Put your balloons down!
The Girls: You put your balloons down!!
First Dorm Guy: You put your balloons down!!
(Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.)
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
Monica: (interrupting him) Oh my God!
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I don’t know why I did that!
Monica: Hey, it’s good to see you!
Mr. Thompson: (approaching) Mr. Tribbiani.
Joey: Oh hi!
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
(An awkward silence ensues.)
Richard: It’s so great seeing you guys again. I’d like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds it’s morning and is refreshed."
Monica: Ohh.
Chandler: What?!
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just can’t get out of!
Ross: Y’know, maybe she is too young for me. Y’know, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I don’t know what to do.
Monica: Why don’t you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean that’s what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesn’t want to get married?
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Monica: Well that’s a little crazy. Although I am y’know glad to hear that you’re branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Chandler: Yeah, well… Y’know, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh?
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Chandler: Eh…
Rachel: Isn’t it incredible?! Monica and Chandler, gettin’ married.
Phoebe: I know, they’re gonna be so happy together.
Monica: Oh my God! Then-then-then what are we even doing?! What is this?!
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why don’t you put down your copy of ‘The Rules’ huh mantrap?!
Monica: Y’know what?! I gotta go! Ugh!
Rachel: We’re gonna find love!
Phoebe: Definitely!
Rachel: Yeah, I’m pretty confident about that. That’s what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Rachel: Well y’know, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time they’re 40, they marry each other.
Phoebe: You mean a backup?
Rachel: Exactly!
Rachel: Wh… So… If neither of you are married by the time you’re 40, you’re gonna marry Joey.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Rachel: Yeah, love. It’s a tricky business isn’t it?
Ross: I guess so.
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time we’re 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and we’ve-we’ve already slept together so y’know there’ll be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "What’s that?!"
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Rachel: Exactly.
Phoebe: No wait! Just—Okay—Just wait! You guys! Wait you guys! Don’t make any rash decisions, okay? Just remember my promise, when we get married, three times a week.
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) I’m talking about massages.
Rachel: Oh.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought… (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
Rachel: That is IT! You just barge in here, you don't knock
Chandler: I'm sorry!
Rachel: You have no respect for anybody's privacy!
Chandler: Rachel, wait, wait.
Rachel: He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.
Phoebe: I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Chandler: Huh.
Roger: I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
Chandler: Uhhuh, how did you know that?
Roger: It's textbook.
Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't see that happening?
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Ross: Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?
Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...
Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Joey: No.
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
All: Yeah. Hate him.
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?
All: ...No, we hate him.
Rachel: We're sorry.
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.
Roger: Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Phoebe: You're not? See, that's why you're so great!
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
Monica: So you talked to your dad, huh.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Wow.
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Ross: So Joey, you okay?
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachel’s not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring to is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didn’t understand that, but y’know, maybe that’s ‘cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, y’know? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: No.
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Let’s discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica: Oh, I’m sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Chandler: So, that’s it?
Monica: I just don’t think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! It’s the oldest game!
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: I don’t have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
Monica: Are you mocking me?
Chandler: No, I’m not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured y’know, after living with you it’d be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y’know? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who’s different than me. And what’s more different than me; a guy who’s not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
Rachel: Pheebs, I have to ask you…
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! I’m swamped right now.
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." It’s just, there is nothing! The city’s full!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay…" Oh, yeah, but it’s on the ground floor.
Rachel: That sounds great! I’d love to live at Warren’s!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Ross: Don’t thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Here’s Warren’s number.
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler: All right! That’s fine! That’s fine! I won’t bring over the chairs! I won’t bring anything over! I wouldn’t want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandma’s place!! (Storms out.)
The Potential Roommate: Oh don’t worry, I’m not really a party girl.
Joey: Whoa!! Now look, don’t be just blurtin’ stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) I’m very safety conscious.
Rachel: No-no, they just had a big blowout over what to do with my room.
Ross: What?! Over a stupid room!
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but I’m also really psyched ‘cause I don’t have to move in here!
Ross: Oh no, yeah no, that part’s great!
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I can’t just stand by and watch two people I care about so much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Chandler: Well, why don’t you tell her to stop being silly! (Monica mocks him and he joins in.)
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look I’ve known you both a long time, and I’ve never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as you’ve been since you’ve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Chandler: That’s laughter.
Monica: Ross, you were right before, it was just a stupid fight about a room.
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isn’t about the room, this is about what the room…represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachel’s room) could destroy you!!
Chandler: Yeah, I'm not so worried.
Monica: Yeah, no, me neither.
Ross: Fine! It’s your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just don’t want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, but that’s what you want, there’s nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DON’T DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: Umm, well let’s see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Ross: Fighting?!
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think it’s great they work things out.
图片附件: joker.jpg (2009-1-13 14:37:31, 47.68 KB) / 下载次数 427
Rachel: Look, y’know I know my life’s going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who’ve accomplished so many other goals by the time they’re thirty.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldn’t compare yourself to me.
Monica: Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
Ross: That’s not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Joey: Hey, what’s the horsepower on this thing?
Ross: (giddy) I don’t know, but-but look how shiny!
Monica: I can’t believe you bought this.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know it’s really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monica’s gonna be here any minute!
Joey: But it hurt’s my Joey’s Apple.
Chandler: (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. It’s not named for each individual man.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can’t believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I can’t believe that you would have a tux that’s thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Geller’s shoulder.)
Mr. Geller: It’s older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Chandler: Ohh! (He quickly removes his hand and looks at it.)
Ursula: Yeah, we’re not thirty, we’re 31.
Phoebe: Nu-uh!
Ursula: Yea-huh! That’s what is says on my birth certificate.
Phoebe: You have your birth certificate?
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Rachel: What’s-what’s going on? Phil’s really pissed!
Chandler: Monica’s wasted.
Ross: Maybe that will liven up this party.
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you can’t keep your hands off her for one second!
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think it’s nice.
Chandler: I think it’s necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Chandler: Hey Pheebs, what’s up?
Phoebe: You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-you’ll let it go.
Chandler: Fine.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Y’know it wouldn’t kill ya to respect your wife’s privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Chandler: So, how’s the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I just—I wish I didn’t feel this way about Rachel anymore, y’know? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think…I think Ross feels left out. Y’know? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God… You should’ve seen the look on Ross’s face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what I’m doing here. For all I know I’m just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: That’s a good idea.
Joey: Yeah.
Chandler: Well, it’s not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Y’know? You’re doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if you’re in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Monica: So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
Phoebe: Okay. Okay but you should know though, I’ve raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: No Chandler, you don’t understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? I’m y’know…I’m sick.
Chandler: No, honey you’re not sick! Look, I don’t love you because you’re organized, I love you in spite of that.
Joey: Y’know what’s more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Y’know what’s even more generous than that?!!
Chandler: I see where you’re goin’!
Ross: What’s up with the greed Joe?
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Don’t you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe you’ll get that job!
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Phoebe: Now, we can kick anybody’s ass!
Rachel: Yeah!
Ross: After one class? I don’t think so.
Rachel: What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there (points) and pretend you’re a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!!
Phoebe: (deadpan) Come on Ross. We’re sorry. Please tell us what it is.
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
Joey: And of course, crotchless panties.
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I can’t do that we promised we’d make each other gifts this year.
Joey: (to the receptionist) Hi uh, I’m Joey Tribbiani and with all do respect I’d like to donate some fluids.
Receptionist: We’re actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so we’re not looking for applicants right now.
Joey: Oh that’s too bad. I’ve kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure there’s no studies I can participate in?
Receptionist: Well, here’s a schedule of what’s coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Joey: Thanks. (Starts to read it.) Well but this one starts now. (Points to one.)
Receptionist: Oh that one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible. It’s a twins study.
Ross: Y’know what? She’d-she’d love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, that’s the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, it’s an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didn’t actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely.
Ross: No, I mean it’s okay, I mean, they’re-they’re my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
The Instructor: Let me get this straight man, you attacked your ex-wife?!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldn’t. That’s why I’m here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-that’s a no.
Janice’s Voice: (singing) You’re look for laughable…(She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Chandler: Uh honey, I know you don’t like to relinquish control…
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Chandler: Look, she’s really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Monica: Did she really say that?
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember ‘cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Ross: So does-does Joey know you’re moving?
Rachel: Well, I haven’t discussed it with him yet, but I know he’s gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Yes?
Ross: Hi. I’m Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Rachel: And I’m Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Where’d you get it?
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! It’s two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is…y’know what? We just met.
Eric: I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
Eric: Not really. You…you’re blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You’re Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe…If I-if I just don’t look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It…it works. I’m not, I’m not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on we’re a team! We’re in this together!
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Brenda: (noticing him) What are you doing?
Chandler: I’m leaning. This is where I lean.
24能不能把有笔记的楼层公布在顶楼，这样不用删人回复也能keep track of your notes
学习还是大家讨论着来比较有劲～
lintelle 发表于 2009-1-22 11:18
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
RACH: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
CHAN: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s.
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
CHAN: [doggedly] Games and stuff.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
JOEY: You got all that from saline solution?
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
RTST: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
MNCA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
RTST: Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute.
MNCA: Ohh.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
CHAN: [squirming] All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.
MNCA: Yeah. You!
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore.
RTST: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
MNCA: Cat hair.
RTST: Oh, sorry.
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Phoebe: Oh, there’s no such thing as an innocent burger.
Chandler: What do we do? What do we do?
Ross: Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it.
Chandler: Like an eclipse.
Richard: So when people compliment me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, we’re gonna put hands in this bowl, and we’re gonna start squishing the tomatoes
Ross: Hey! How’s the ah, basketball go?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I learned how to shoot a lay-up, a foul shot, and a twenty-three pointer.
Chandler: You mean a three pointer?
Phoebe: Oh, I get more because I’m dainty.
Phoebe: What? (the guys keep laughing.) What? You guys, what is going on? You not like Robert? (the guys keep laughing.) Why are you laughing?!
Ross: Calm down. There’s no reason to get testy.
(The guys start laughing harder.)
Phoebe: You guys!! Come on!
Chandler: I’m sorry, I’m sorry; it just seems that Robert isn’t as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: So, how’s the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. It’s hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) It’s a word!
(There’s a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him it’s like ‘s it on the lose?? ‘s it watching me??
Chandler: We can’t tell him, you can’t go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Ross: He’s right, even if it’s to say something complimentary. (He stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Phoebe: Hey.
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? They’re got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
Phoebe: No, I can spot you from here.
Robert: What?
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I’m not fine, I’m not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if we’re friends who don’t see other people?
Richard: You mean like exclusive friends?
RACHEL: Did you ever do the-the Leia thing?
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh!
RACHEL: Really! That-that great huh?
PHOEBE: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
PHOEBE: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....
JANICE: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
JOEY: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...
PHOEBE: Monica, do you want us to take you home?
MONICA: Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)
ROSS: No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....
CHANDLER: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
CHANDLER: What are you guys doing together?
JANICE: Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)
CHANDLER: Really.
JOEY: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Monica: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.
Rachel: Since when?
Joey: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.
Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.
Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.
Rachel: And everybody knows this?
Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
(The guys stretch out their fingers.)
Joey: That's ridiculous!
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Ross: What?
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
Rachel: Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.
Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.
Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Rachel: Hey!
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
Rachel: Ohh, thank God! Finally!
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know… And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.
Rachel: Oops. Sorry! Well, good thing you number all of them, huh?
Monica: I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype.
[Scene: Gary's cop car, Ross is in the front seat with Gary of course. Chandler is in the back seat.]
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Monica: (does Rachel's) Nooo!
Rachel: (does Monica's) I know!
Monica: Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that!
Rachel: What?! We can't do that!
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Rachel: Okay, you are crazy! I'm sorry, but she sounded generally upset! I mean, listen! (She hits a button on the machine.)
Answering Machine: Your messages have been erased.
Rachel: Noooooooo!
Chandler: Okay, y'know, we-we're safe right? I mean nothing bad can go down!
Gary: No. But that reminds me, (handing back a clipboard) sign this.
Ross: What is it?
Gary: Oh it's nothing, it just says that you can't sue the city if you scrap your knee or y'know, get your head blown off.
Rachel: No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this!
Monica: There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!
Rachel: Yeah well unless we tell him.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Ross: Wow! I could've died tonight.
Chandler: Yeah! If the car that backfired had run over you! Y'know what, I think I'll go home before Ross starts rambling about his newfound respect for life. (He gets up and starts for the door.)
Ross: I do have a newfound respect for life.
Chandler: (returning) Oh my God! (Storms out.)
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense…
Chandler: Much sense?!
Joey: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
Chandler: So you risked your life, for a sandwich!
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? Maybe, this is not about seizing stuff. Maybe this is about escaping stuff.
Ross: Huh.
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
CHANDLER: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
JOEY: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
ROSS: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
CHANDLER: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
ROSS: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
MONICA: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
JOEY: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
CHANDLER: What are you doing?
JOEY: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
CHANDLER: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
JOEY: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
ROSS: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
JOEY: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
ROSS: Your not going.
RACHEL: Right.
ROSS: Okay. You know that I-I have to go.
RACHEL: Um, hum.
ROSS: Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.'
RACHEL: No.
ROSS: No, because your not upset.
RACHEL: Right.
PHOEBE: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
CHANDLER: Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?
ROSS: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
ROSS: Rachel!! (she enters) Wow! You, uh, you look, wow!
RACHEL: And I still have about five seconds to spare. (kisses him) Okay, that was about seven seconds.
ROSS: So we're a little late.
Rachel: How many guesses do you get?
Joey: Six.
Ross: Challenge extended.
Monica: Deal!
Ross: Challenge excepted.
Monica: That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch.
Rachel: Yeah, and none of these stupid grocery questions, real personal questions.
Monica: Yeah! And the winner gets a hundred bucks.
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Joey: Huh.
Rachel: I know! I know, it’s such a huge, life-altering thing.
Joey: I know.
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Ross: Ooh. What is the name of Chandler’s father’s Las Vegas all-male burlesque?
Monica: Viva Las Gaygas!
Rachel: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend he’s Alan Alda.
Monica: Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct?
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Phoebe: Oh, it's the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Guy: Gotcha. (he and his helper walk in carrying the racecar bed.)
Ross: So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat.
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Dr. Green: (he stares at Ross) Rust, is boat cancer, Ross.
Ross: Wow. I’m sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)
Monica: You look cute in bubbles.
Chandler: Ehh, you're just liquored up.
Joey: Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys.
Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Rachel: Oh, honey that's awful.
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Phoebe: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
Phoebe: (excited) Central…(not so excited) Park!
Joey: Yeah, all of us! All day!
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Rachel: Yeah, I-I don't care.
Ross: No, no, no there's nothing wrong with you. I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
Phoebe: I wanna get married! (Grabs a tissue.)
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey? Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Eww, are you talking about my bother?
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I.
Joey: What are you doing?
Rachel: Well, y’know I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Joey: (laughs) Why would you want to do that?
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Joey: Rach, there is a decent place to…
Rachel: And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dad’s house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is…Oh my God!!
Phoebe: What? What happened to the window in the attic?!
Monica: I can’t believe mom and dad are selling the house!
Ross: I can’t believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some stranger’s gonna be living in my room.
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, it’s time the velvet ropes came down.
Ross: They kept your room for a while.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria’s Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Monica: As much as they love you?
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! It’s not my fault.
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Supervisor: (laughs) Why don’t we do a trial run.
Joey: Poor thing. Cut down in her prime.
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Y’know, start the heeling process?
Ross: Dad that won’t matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Ross: Well, can you blame her?
Mr. Geller: Well I don’t know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could…
Monica: So why-why wasn’t Ross’s stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel I’m going to Easy Bake your head!
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Monica: So wait, Ross’s stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Joey: Your chair?!
Rachel: Yeah, he thought he broke your chair so he switched the chairs!
Joey: So, there was no miracle?!
Rachel: No Joe, no miracle.
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. I’m so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Joey: Oh well, they’re killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Ross: What? A brain transplant?!
Joey: (seriously) Yes, it’s a highly controversial procedure.
Ross: It’s ridiculous!
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in people’s faces, I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen her finish a beverage.
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye—l-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, I’m really nervous about-about being you. Y’know if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Y’know? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Rachel: All right, I got 48.
Chandler: Oh that's not bad, Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh, I got tired of naming states. So I decided to list the types of celery, and I have one: regular celery.
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in…vegetables, Joey?
Ross: Done! With time a-to-spare.
Chandler: Oooh that may be a New World's record (Looks at his watch and picks up Ross' pad)
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Chandler: Tell her, I'm allergic, and I will sue!
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-he’s obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Rachel: You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Chandler: He saw a therapist?
Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) I’m notworried, I’m uh, I’m fascinated. Y’know it’s like uh, Biology! Which is funnybecause in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me.(Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
oey: So you’re playing a littlePlaystation, huh? That’s whack! Playstation is whack! ‘Sup with the whackPlaystation, ‘sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
Monica: Thunder being stolen!!
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, it’snothing! Monica, come on!
Ross: And; people thinking it’shuge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica)Which we are not!
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Hey, I just realized wekinda let some stuff up in the air…
Monica: (opening the door) HiPheebs, what’s up? (She enters.)
Phoebe: Okay, you said I couldsing at your wedding so, I’m just gonna need a small deposit.
Monica: Hey, what's that?
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
chandler: So you're really okay with this?
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
Chandler: Now that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum.
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Joey: Yeah!
Chandler: Look, we just think that maybe she's being a little unreasonable.
Joey: Yes! Yes! Unreasonable!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do!
Ross: Okay. Thanks you guys. Pheebs are you wearing fur?
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
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