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标题: Issue138求拍 [打印本页]

作者: clairedeco    时间: 2009-2-28 21:12:48     标题: Issue138求拍

语言一直都提不上去,很愁啊,大家帮我看看吧

TOPIC: ISSUE138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."
WORDS: 608
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009/2/28 20:40:10


The proverb that failure is the mother of success has been a popular sentence which could be recited fluently by various kinds of people, the young or the old, women as well as men. Mistakes have long been something horrible to those who are struggling, yet, necessary. I strongly hold the belief that mistake is the exact key to the consequential victory. In a word, no mistake, no success. Nevertheless, whether failure could bring about the birth of final achievement is dependent on the attitude of those in face of such a mistake.

In the realm of science and discovery, trial and error have been the typical way to get approached to the truth. Thomas Edison knows 1800 ways not be make a light bulb, and Johannes Kepler struggled to stick on the idea of interplanetary gravity because of the assumption for the wrong reason. As a matter of fact, the final appearance of new theory, as well as the accomplishment of new discovery, comes into being after the revelation of erroneous assumptions and failed ideas. Edison once announced that genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Without such kind of previous experience, never could the achievement be approached. The mistakes play a significant role in ruling out the not reasonable possibilities, which could guide the scientist to, or at least, nearer to the truth. The 1800 times of failure told Edison 1800 kinds of material could not be employed in the light bulb.

With regard to politics, this assertion is correct as well. To illustrate this point, we could look no further than the water-gate scandal. Though it's a moral mistake of Nixon, however, from the perspective of United State as a whole, this is a mistake of the entire government, of the law. The scandal has been proved to be a two-edged sword. After the revelation of Water-gate cover-up, people have paid more attention to the government, and the Congress has established more laws to limit the executive power of the president and inhibit abuses of campaign funds. The most serious mistake in the politics of American government has rendered it to be better, at least, at the moral level.

As a kind of result that people dislike, failure or mistake, may play certain roles in the emotional motivation of the sufferers. It is mistakes that guide the one in trial to recognize his weakness, without which, never could such weakness be realized. And then such weakness probably is capable to inspire the sufferer's emotional power to overcome it, or, if the suffer is not strong enough, to give up. Of course, the determination of the consequence is seriously dependant on the characteristic of the one who suffers. Einstein could make such great contribution to the whole society just for his persistence regardless of failure. Thus, how the sufferer responds to the mistake, positive or negative, is what matters. With positive attitude, the sufferer could learn lessons from the suffering, though painful in the process. While the negative one could merely lead the sufferer to be defeated and give up. Men can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated. With such a belief, no mistake is horrible, in the contrary, the sufferer should be happy for he could exclude another possibility.

In summary, mistake is necessary in the approach to success, no matter in the realm of science, or politics. However, mistake is a two-edged sword, which could lead you to the final victory, or leave you frustrated. And that is dependent on you, the sufferer. How you consider the meaning of mistake, and how much you learn about the significance of failure are what finally determine the consequence.
作者: leslin    时间: 2009-2-28 22:17:42

1# by leslin
TOPIC: ISSUE138 - "Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."

The proverb that failure is the mother of success has been a popular sentence which could be recited fluently by various kinds of people, the young or the old, women as well as men. Mistakes have long been something horrible to those who are struggling, yet, necessary. I strongly hold the belief that mistake is the exact key to the consequential victory. In a word, no mistake, no success. Nevertheless, whether failure could bring about the birth of final achievement is dependent on the attitude of those in face of such a mistake[mistakes].

In the realm of science and discovery, trial and error have been the typical way to get approached to the truth. Thomas Edison knows 1800 ways not be make a light bulb[这个例子已经用烂了,老用烂的例子会被ETS抓到砸死的], and Johannes Kepler struggled to stick on the idea of interplanetary gravity because of the assumption for the wrong reason[这个例子也已经用烂了]. As a matter of fact, the final appearance of new theory, as well as the accomplishment of new discovery, comes into being after the revelation of erroneous assumptions and failed ideas. Edison once announced that genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration[原句似乎还有后话:但是没有那百分之一的天才也是不行的]. Without such kind of previous experience, never could the achievement be approached. The mistakes play a significant role in ruling out the not reasonable[unreasonable] possibilities, which could guide the scientist to, or at least, nearer to the truth. The 1800 times of failure told Edison 1800 kinds of material could not be employed in the light bulb.
先不说例子本身的问题,作为例子来说,最好是例子少,对于例子的描述详细一点

With regard to politics, this assertion is correct as well. To illustrate this point, we could look no further than the water-gate scandal. Though it's a moral mistake of Nixon, however, from the perspective of United State as a whole, this is a mistake of the entire government, of the law. The scandal has been proved to be a two-edged sword. After the revelation of Water-gate cover-up, people have paid more attention to the government, and the Congress has established more laws to limit the executive power of the president and inhibit abuses of campaign funds. The most serious mistake in the politics of American government has rendered it to be better, at least, at the moral level.
这一段的例子描写就很好嘛

As a kind of result that people dislike, failure or mistake, may play certain roles in the emotional motivation of the sufferers. It is mistakes that guide the one in trial to recognize his weakness, without which, never could such weakness be realized. And then such weakness probably is capable to inspire the sufferer's emotional power to overcome it, or, if the suffer is not strong enough, to give up. Of course, the determination of the consequence is seriously dependant on the characteristic of the one who suffers. Einstein could make such great contribution to the whole society just for his persistence regardless of failure. Thus, how the sufferer responds to the mistake, positive or negative, is what matters. With positive attitude, the sufferer could learn lessons from the suffering, though painful in the process. While the negative one could merely lead the sufferer to be defeated and give up. Men can be destroyed, but cannot be defeated. With such a belief, no mistake is horrible, in the contrary, the sufferer should be happy for he could exclude another possibility.
在加上一些逻辑的连接词就更好了,另外,不要老把爱因斯坦同学请出来了,还有很多好同学等你点名呢

In summary, mistake is necessary in the approach to success, no matter in the realm of science, or politics. However, mistake is a two-edged sword, which could lead you to the final victory, or leave you frustrated. And that is dependent on you, the sufferer. How you consider the meaning of mistake, and how much you learn about the significance of failure are what finally determine the consequence.

逻辑很清晰,只是破题上有点浅,建议从反面说明一下与你的正面观点对比就更好了,一个观点的例子不要太多,少而精才是最重要的。

本人也有一篇习作 Issue185 求拍:http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/thread-922383-1-1.html 谢谢!




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