标题: 0910AW 同主题写作第三期 ARGUMENT242 by akong [打印本页] 作者: akongworld 时间: 2009-6-9 08:10:26 标题: 0910AW 同主题写作第三期 ARGUMENT242 by akong
The statement seems round to claim that the same honor code will be useful because of its testified utilization in Grovetom's. But the fact is the claim is not grounded to present a perfect reason to show that the same system can be effective and prevent students from cheating.
First of all. Groventon's honor is executed by calling for students not to cheat. But can it be useful under a circumstance that the cheating phenomenon has being so serious? Can the promise made by students be true, or just indulge a worse consequence by giving an even more convenient condition to cheat? As everybody knows, score is the most essential standard today to weigh the ability of a student, which may directly relate to scholarship and the graduation, all of them will try best to improve the score level, by either studying hard or cheating. More investigations which focus on the merit value of students need to be conducted, since the major reason of cheating is morality.
Secondly, the statistic shows that the number of cheating has been decreased from thirty cases to twenty-one then to fourteen. Obviously, the author treats this declination as a good consequence of the honor code, but is it really true? The statement mentioned that the teachers are used to be the monitor of the cheat, which is quite close, but under such a close monitor the cheating cannot be avoided, can we just conclude that the promise can be trusted? Maybe students who promise the honor code but conceal the real phenomenon of the cheating, if they establish a good 'cooperation' among themselves, the cheating will not be revealed and the statistics apparently decreased. Under such circumstance, the cheating will be even worse. Statistic can be a reference, but be an evidence, it should be investigated deeper and closer.
Moreover, the survey can actually insure nothing. What is the scale of it? Can be ensured authentic? If the students among which the survey conducted are those outstanding ones, the answer is definitely yes, since they have never cheated before, not mention to infringe the regulation after such an honor code has been implemented. On the contrary ,if it is the other part of the students, the answer should be suspected, since this kind of promise is not that trustworthy. Therefore, there should be provided more information about the survey to strengthen the persuasion.
In sum, the whole statement are sound reasonable but lacks the basic evidence to support its point be cogent, because the most essential part of this phenomenon--the morality of students can not be assured. Therefore many other elements need to be added and more details presented to certify the positive consequence of the honor code.
The statement seems round to claim that the same honor code will be useful because of its testified utilization in Grovetom's. But the fact is the claim is not grounded to present a perfect reason to show that the same system can be effective and prevent students from cheating.
First of all. Groventon's honor is executed by calling for students not to cheat. But can it be useful under a circumstance that the cheating phenomenon has being so serious? Can the promise made by students be true, or just indulge a worse consequence by giving an even more convenient condition to cheat? As everybody knows, score is the most essential standard today to weigh the ability of a student, which may directly relate to scholarship and the graduation, all of them will try best to improve the score level, by either studying hard or cheating. More investigations which focus on the merit value of students need to be conducted, since the major reason of cheating is morality.
Secondly, the statistic shows that the number of cheating has been decreased from thirty cases to twenty-one then to fourteen. Obviously, the author treats this declination as a good consequence of the honor code, but is it really true? The statement mentioned that the teachers are used to be the monitor of the cheat, which is quite close, but under such a close monitor the cheating cannot be avoided, can we just conclude that the promise can be trusted? Maybe students who promise the honor code but conceal the real phenomenon of the cheating, if they establish a good 'cooperation' among themselves, the cheating will not be revealed and the statistics apparently decreased. Under such circumstance, the cheating will be even worse. Statistic can be a reference, but be an evidence, it should be investigated deeper and closer.
Moreover, the survey can actually insure nothing. What is the scale of it? Can be ensured authentic? If the students among which the survey conducted are those outstanding ones, the answer is definitely yes, since they have never cheated before, not mention to infringe the regulation after such an honor code has been implemented. On the contrary ,if it is the other part of the students, the answer should be suspected, since this kind of promise is not that trustworthy. Therefore, there should be provided more information about the survey to strengthen the persuasion.
In sum, the whole statement are sound reasonable but lacks the basic evidence to support its point be cogent, because the most essential part of this phenomenon--the morality of students can not be assured. Therefore many other elements need to be added and more details presented to certify the positive consequence of the honor code.
作者: akongworld 时间: 2009-6-9 08:11:14
0910AW 同主题写作第三期 ARGUMENT242 by akong
The statement seems round to claim that the same honor code will be useful because of its testified utilization in Grovetom's. But the fact is the claim is not grounded to present a perfect reason to show that the same system can be effective and prevent students from cheating.
First of all. Groventon's honor is executed by calling for students not to cheat. But can it be useful under a circumstance that the cheating phenomenon has being so serious? Can the promise made by students be true, or just indulge a worse consequence by giving an even more convenient condition to cheat? As everybody knows, score is the most essential standard today to weigh the ability of a student, which may directly relate to scholarship and the graduation, all of them will try best to improve the score level, by either studying hard or cheating. More investigations which focus on the merit value of students need to be conducted, since the major reason of cheating is morality.
Secondly, the statistic shows that the number of cheating has been decreased from thirty cases to twenty-one then to fourteen. Obviously, the author treats this declination as a good consequence of the honor code, but is it really true? The statement mentioned that the teachers are used to be the monitor of the cheat, which is quite close, but under such a close monitor the cheating cannot be avoided, can we just conclude that the promise can be trusted? Maybe students who promise the honor code but conceal the real phenomenon of the cheating, if they establish a good 'cooperation' among themselves, the cheating will not be revealed and the statistics apparently decreased. Under such circumstance, the cheating will be even worse. Statistic can be a reference, but be an evidence, it should be investigated deeper and closer.
Moreover, the survey can actually insure nothing. What is the scale of it? Can be ensured authentic? If the students among which the survey conducted are those outstanding ones, the answer is definitely yes, since they have never cheated before, not mention to infringe the regulation after such an honor code has been implemented. On the contrary ,if it is the other part of the students, the answer should be suspected, since this kind of promise is not that trustworthy. Therefore, there should be provided more information about the survey to strengthen the persuasion.
In sum, the whole statement are sound reasonable but lacks the basic evidence to support its point be cogent, because the most essential part of this phenomenon--the morality of students can not be assured. Therefore many other elements need to be added and more details presented to certify the positive consequence of the honor code.作者: wisle 时间: 2009-6-11 21:33:10
本帖最后由 wisle 于 2009-6-11 21:35 编辑
The statement seems round to claim that the same honor code will be useful because of its testified utilization in Groveton’s. But the fact is the claim is not grounded to present a perfect reason to show that the same system can be effective and prevent students from cheating. （若作者能列举出来哪些地方不能证明arguer的观点，会更好）
First of all. Groveton’s honor is executed by calling for students not to cheat. But can it be useful under a circumstance that the cheating phenomenon has being so serious? Can the promise made by students be true, or just indulge a worse consequence by giving an even more convenient condition to cheat? As everybody knows, score is the most essential standard today to weigh the ability of a student, which may directly relate to scholarship and the graduation. All of them will try best to improve the score level, by either studying hard or cheating. More investigations which focus on the merit value of students need to be conducted, since the major reason of cheating is morality. （建议这一段放在全文最后，理由是：先对局部的错误进行攻击，在最后即使这些局部错误是对的，在整体上……这样就形成让步攻击效果更好）
Secondly, the statistic shows that the number of cheating has been decreased from thirty cases to twenty-one then to fourteen. Obviously, the author treats this declination as a good consequence of the honor code, but is it really true?(表达不错) The statement mentioned that the teachers are used to be the monitor of the cheat, which is quite close, but under such a close monitor the cheating cannot be avoided, can we just conclude that the promise can be trusted? Maybe students who promise the honor code but conceal the real phenomenon of the cheating（表达有问题，不知道说什么。是不是concealed前要加don’t，再说不作弊也不是用conceal？）, if they establish a good 'cooperation' among them, the cheating will not be revealed and the statistics apparently decreased. Under such circumstance, the cheating will be even worse. Statistic can be a reference, but be an evidence, it should be investigated deeper and closer.
Moreover, the survey can actually insure nothing. What is the scale of it? Can be ensured authentic? If the students among which the survey conducted are those outstanding ones, the answer is definitely yes, since they have never cheated before, not mention to infringe the regulation after such an honor code has been implemented. On the contrary, if it is the other part of the students, the answer should be suspected, since this kind of promise is not that trustworthy. Therefore, there should be provided more information about the survey to strengthen the persuasion.
In sum, the whole statement are sound reasonable but lacks the basic evidence to support its point be(删) cogent, because the most essential part of this phenomenon--the morality of students can not be assured. Therefore many other elements need to be added and more details presented to certify the positive consequence of the honor code.（若能指出作者应当在哪些方向改进会更好）