| 7/11------------------------------------------------------------------- Issue 11 "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems." issue 1。社会发展了，带来了便利 2。发展的同时也引入了问题 (1、2可以归在一段里面，其目的要明确是为了支持建立全球大学去解决问题) 3。有必要建立一所全球大学 （可直接在上一段里面提出，要简洁） 4。全球大学应该受到所有民族和国家的资助 There is increasingly rapid development in recent years, while many tough problems come out. It is reasonable to establish a global university and all nations should support this program in order to cultivate outstanding students to dismantle these complex troubles. (这一段最好点出自己的态度) （请开章明义，否则看完一段了都不知道你在说啥）When computers become our main tool to deal with various data and extremely entangled manage systems, it acclaims that a new revolution period has come to us, generally called information times era of information. People have been free from heavy and tedium work which required them repeat the same operation for years. Computers help them to do this sort of boring manual work. What's more, so long as there is enough electric power and computers can work are working without extra disturbance, and they seem to seldom make a mistake. On the contrary, the most terrible thing for common people is to category a great number of seemingly irrelative data. and What invariably happens is that their managers easily find out some faults and require them to refine the results for several times. (这一段内容没有和你的论点相关，或者是论点不清晰) On the other hand, a great mass of problems have been aroused and been accessories of social advancement. One of solutions is to found a global university. Many people have the doubt that there are so many universities worldwide and whether it is really necessary to build a university like this. Actually, universities in different countries have their own special characters but few of them have some in common, especially the programs which are set individually for solving global problems. (同样的，请在第一句话就点题：Many people have the doubt that there are so many universities worldwide and whether it is really necessary to build a university like this.) Since it is a global university, it should be invested by all nations. Maybe some big countries like USA and China have the ability to build such a university by themselves, but it should be the responsibility of all nations. Once a nation or country pay money for the construction of global university, their people will hope that their investment is deserved and sends excellent students, which makes sure the quality of students. In fact, it is not a big sum for most countries when they only pay a small portion. （仍然不明白这一段的作用，是在说大家平摊，那么世界大学就有了经济来源，所以支持建设大学？） Once a global university is set up, the general problems meet their ends like local violence, female social status, poverty, and even environmental balance will come to an end. Some of these problems have seriously affected our daily life. Taking the global environmental problem for example, extreme weather has been an obvious phenomenon. We come across dusty weather and abnormal hail attack or storm more frequently than ever before. This phenomenon has aroused attention of experts in different countries. When students finish study from these experts, they will be the right persons eligible o take humans out of these tough troubles. (用语没有太大语法问题，但是很中国式英文，建议找Native的人帮助给点措辞意见) To sum up, a global university can aggregate the big minds and cultivate students who are versatile and specialized in various fields. This can greatly help us to effectively solve present social problems. Any nation should make a contribution to make sure this university is actually global. Argument 25 A 25 It is not convincing (For who to?) to get the conclusion that building a golf course and resort hotel can boost the Hopewell's economy and increase tax revenues. Though it is seemingly true that Ocean View makes a big success by doing so, for Hopewell, the situation may change. First of all, the arguer doesn't fails to analyze the difference in geographical position between Ocean View and Hopewell. Perhaps Ocean View locates near a seaside sea or downtown where tour business tourism is flourishing and popular, while Hopewell locates in countryside or some place where transportation is poor of poor transportation. If Hopewell itself is not of great interest in tour, it is totally unnecessary to build a resort hotel. If people are easily tired of long journey to Hopewell, it seems that a golf court cannot help to bring massive income.profit. In addition, there is no evidence to show the correlation between Ocean View's increased revenues and its golf course and resort hotel. On one hand, it is possible that most tourists come to Ocean View for its naturally beautiful scene. Maybe this a key reason which results in increased tax incomes. On the other hand, new opened business may greatly contribute to its 30% increased revenues even when it is not profit form its golf course or resort hotel. Furthermore, the situation of the following years may change despite the increased incomes in the past two years. Provide that golf course and resort hotel had in fact stimulated Ocean View in the past two years. Perhaps Hopewell could get a similar increase if it had its own golf course and resort hotel during that period. But it may become another story for both towns in the following years. Nobody can make sure a high increasing for the scant investigation and study about future. To sum up, in order to support his conclusion, the arguer should provides more information about the detailed construction of Ocean View's revenues and do some research to check out whether Hopewell possess enough nature resources to attract tourists after building golf course and resort hotel. Furthermore, anticipation should also be done. |
| 7/11------------------------------------------------------------------- Issue 11 "All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems." issue 1。社会发展了，带来了便利 2。发展的同时也引入了问题 (1、2可以归在一段里面，其目的要明确是为了支持建立全球大学去解决问题) 3。有必要建立一所全球大学 （可直接在上一段里面提出，要简洁） 4。全球大学应该受到所有民族和国家的资助 There is increasingly rapid development in recent years, while many tough problems come out. It is reasonable to establish a global university and all nations should support this program in order to cultivate outstanding students to dismantle these complex troubles. (这一段最好点出自己的态度) （请开章明义，否则看完一段了都不知道你在说啥）When computers become our main tool to deal with various data and extremely entangled manage systems, it acclaims that a new revolution period has come to us, generally called information times era of information. People have been free from heavy and tedium work which required them repeat the same operation for years. Computers help them to do this sort of boring manual work. What's more, so long as there is enough electric power and computers can work are working without extra disturbance, and they seem to seldom make a mistake. On the contrary, the most terrible thing for common people is to category a great number of seemingly irrelative data. and What invariably happens is that their managers easily find out some faults and require them to refine the results for several times. (这一段内容没有和你的论点相关，或者是论点不清晰) On the other hand, a great mass of problems have been aroused and been accessories of social advancement. One of solutions is to found a global university. Many people have the doubt that there are so many universities worldwide and whether it is really necessary to build a university like this. Actually, universities in different countries have their own special characters but few of them have some in common, especially the programs which are set individually for solving global problems. (同样的，请在第一句话就点题：Many people have the doubt that there are so many universities worldwide and whether it is really necessary to build a university like this.) Since it is a global university, it should be invested by all nations. Maybe some big countries like USA and China have the ability to build such a university by themselves, but it should be the responsibility of all nations. Once a nation or country pay money for the construction of global university, their people will hope that their investment is deserved and sends excellent students, which makes sure the quality of students. In fact, it is not a big sum for most countries when they only pay a small portion. （仍然不明白这一段的作用，是在说大家平摊，那么世界大学就有了经济来源，所以支持建设大学？） Once a global university is set up, the general problems meet their ends like local violence, female social status, poverty, and even environmental balance will come to an end. Some of these problems have seriously affected our daily life. Taking the global environmental problem for example, extreme weather has been an obvious phenomenon. We come across dusty weather and abnormal hail attack or storm more frequently than ever before. This phenomenon has aroused attention of experts in different countries. When students finish study from these experts, they will be the right persons eligible o take humans out of these tough troubles. (用语没有太大语法问题，但是很中国式英文，建议找Native的人帮助给点措辞意见) To sum up, a global university can aggregate the big minds and cultivate students who are versatile and specialized in various fields. This can greatly help us to effectively solve present social problems. Any nation should make a contribution to make sure this university is actually global. Argument 25 A 25 It is not convincing (For who to?) to get the conclusion that building a golf course and resort hotel can boost the Hopewell's economy and increase tax revenues. Though it is seemingly true that Ocean View makes a big success by doing so, for Hopewell, the situation may change. First of all, the arguer doesn't fails to analyze the difference in geographical position between Ocean View and Hopewell. Perhaps Ocean View locates near a seaside sea or downtown where tour business tourism is flourishing and popular, while Hopewell locates in countryside or some place where transportation is poor of poor transportation. If Hopewell itself is not of great interest in tour, it is totally unnecessary to build a resort hotel. If people are easily tired of long journey to Hopewell, it seems that a golf court cannot help to bring massive income.profit. In addition, there is no evidence to show the correlation between Ocean View's increased revenues and its golf course and resort hotel. On one hand, it is possible that most tourists come to Ocean View for its naturally beautiful scene. Maybe this a key reason which results in increased tax incomes. On the other hand, new opened business may greatly contribute to its 30% increased revenues even when it is not profit form its golf course or resort hotel. Furthermore, the situation of the following years may change despite the increased incomes in the past two years. Provide that golf course and resort hotel had in fact stimulated Ocean View in the past two years. Perhaps Hopewell could get a similar increase if it had its own golf course and resort hotel during that period. But it may become another story for both towns in the following years. Nobody can make sure a high increasing for the scant investigation and study about future. To sum up, in order to support his conclusion, the arguer should provides more information about the detailed construction of Ocean View's revenues and do some research to check out whether Hopewell possess enough nature resources to attract tourists after building golf course and resort hotel. Furthermore, anticipation should also be done. |
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