钢炮的作文本

leiqin1521UID：2735936

From my point of view,   students ought to be required to attend class for most of their time. But spending 11 months on class every year is rather exhausting for students,  not to mention many of them may not have some（enough，觉得这样好似顺口点） time to understand the lessons with a little break.  Thus,  11 months is probably too long,  and to improve the education,  the school can make it 6 months or 7 ,  which are more suitable for students.
Good，给出观点和理由。要是说一年只上6-7个月的课，是不是太短了？个人觉得。
Admittedly,   an intensive study is good for most students,  as they can obtain a great deal of knowledge with a continuous study.   Besides,  during this long period of study,   students are able to discuss problems with their classmates,  exchang ideas and share experience.   Discussion benefits them,  as well help them become cooperative.  So all these are what intensive study can bring to students, which i can not deny.
写的很好，要是这段让步段可以写在最后一段对更好，这样文章更加紧凑
Nevertheless,   Things would not go well, if too much time is spent attending class.  The first reason is students are not robots, but human beings,  whose（who） have energy limits.  11 months' study must make many students very tiring（tired）,  even drive them crazy and cause unwillingness to study.  It is quite understandable that no one hopes all his or her life is occupied by one thing,  which even if has much fun.  What if they could have half an year to rest?  It is getting much better.  Several months' break  allows students to do some relaxations they are fond of,  which are quite refreshing.  After the break, they are energtical again and ready to confront the challenging study.  For example,  every time i am puzzled by some tough mathmatical problems, and become frustrated, i would like to listen to music,  since they are able to relax me and bring me into a good mood to continue the difficult problems,  which seems to be easier than they were.  Therefore,  some rest are necessary for students,  helping them study easily and effectively.
还好，就是这个例子举得和文章的中心——学生需要长假不十分贴。Moreover,  Students need some time to understand those knowledge they learn in class.  It often happens that students complain about teachers in class, who teach so fast so much that they can hardly get them all.  In this case,   one month of a year is too short for students trying to understand the lesson. By constrast,  with a long break, they have more than enough time to digest these knowledge,  which they might be able to use in future career（which这句可以再展开下，不然有点突然）.  As long as students really understand the knowledge and are capable of using it,  the goal of making a better, effective education  could be achieved.

To sum up,  i do not object to a continuous study, （把not去掉应该更好） but one month's break  is not good for students.  Students require more time to take a good rest from intensive study, as well understand the knowledge.

总体来说还不错，字数足够！结构ok
第一次改，有不当之处见谅。