寄托天下
查看: 7661|回复: 3
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[作文] 我的作文贴 [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
146
注册时间
2011-3-8
精华
0
帖子
0
楼主
发表于 2011-7-11 22:33:23 |显示全部楼层
我看了一下你的文章,我给你贴出来还是怎么弄?我第一次弄不知道。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
146
注册时间
2011-3-8
精华
0
帖子
0
沙发
发表于 2011-7-11 22:46:00 |显示全部楼层
It is hard to conclude whether people will be more successful and happier(我觉得这句话跟题目表达的不一个意思) because of different environments of different countries. However, when specifying the situation of my homeland China, an old and beautiful country now both flourishing and suffering of(我觉得suffer一般跟不好的词吧) the rapid growth of economy and transition of(of 改成from) traditional social institutions to modern forms. I agree that people who go outside will be more successful than their peers who stay in villages, nevertheless it is still difficult to claim these people will be more happier as well(as well 表示相同时用,此处用不恰当).

I will explain why people (加上go outside)will be more successful first(Firstly,放在句首比较好). In my perspectives, to be successful means a person can achieve his potentials to a great extent, even if he might not be fortunate or hold a high status in society. According to this definition, people who go outside have two advantages to attain success. First, compared to(改为with) people living in villages, those who live in towns and cities are easier to access to high qualified education, a crucial element to abet people to recognize their potentials and enhance their ability to get their potentials. Universities locate exclusively in cities, especially in metropolises, and thus people who are ambitious to achieve their goals or want to seize a better position in force market have to go to cities to learn professional knowledge and to widen their visions and deepen their comprehension about the world. Additionally, cities are freer and can provide chances to various people with disparate backgrounds, interests and skills who are searching(改为striving for吧) their destiny. Those who engage in less productive or traditionally forbidden occupations, such as actors and athletes, can be very popular in cities. On the contrast, it is almost impossible for a person to become a famous actor or athlete, if he chooses to stay in village during his whole life.

To the question that who will be happier, I think there is no certain answer. The chief reason is that I believe(我觉得做认为讲believe不太合适) happiness is a kind of feelings and it has very few connections with objective circumstances, except for some extreme situations such as famine, ill health, or having barely any freedom. For instance, a person who relies on alms and enjoy his idleness every day, can be very happy; on the other hand, a millionaire or either billionaire might feel extreme frustrated and choose suicide finally. Thus it is not possible to judge whether a person is happy or not merely according to the position he lives. (举得例子挺不错,值得我学习)


第一次改,不好请见谅,链接是我写的,麻烦了[url][/url]https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-1283345-1-1.html

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
146
注册时间
2011-3-8
精华
0
帖子
0
板凳
发表于 2011-7-19 14:05:17 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 幕阳素素 于 2011-7-19 14:06 编辑


It is true that humans makemistakes, some of which will definitely barricade their way toward success.However, from my perspective, this obvious phenomenon cannot be extended to anabsolute assertion that people who refuse to accept criticism would not besuccessful.

The first reason actually (是不是应该加base depend之类的on the same assumption I mentioned above that people make mistakes allthe time and thus people who criticize some others might be wrong and those whoare criticized might be right. Sometimes, the most difficult thing, in anorganization, is not to accept others view but to insist ones own opinion, especially theopposite voice comes from some influential people. The risk is that the personwho refuse to respond to others criticism might be treated as arrogant or even be isolated by othercooperators. However, if his opinion turns out to be correct, he may berespected for his wisdom and since he prevent potential loss of his team, hehas a much better chance to get promoted. Thus compared to accepting other teamworkers view undistinguishedly( indistinguishably), it is better to reconsider the whole point thoroughly and deeply again.

Another possibility is that, undercertain circumstances, people who put forward criticism hold obviouslymalevolence, either because they are on a competing position or just becausethey want to acquit responsibility after a failure. In this situation,acknowledging and accepting criticism might be not the cleverest thing to do,because if they do so, they might have to delay their pace toward success oreven lose their careers. Thus, instead of accepting criticism, a wiser way might be to fight back.

In sum, under most circumstances,accepting criticism might be a virtue and people should listen to criticismwhich while ameliorate their work. However, accepting criticismundiscriminatingly is kind of weakness and ineptitude. To attain success,people should know when shouldshould改为to,不太确定 refuse and fight back to criticismeither.
写的太好了,我改不了了。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
146
注册时间
2011-3-8
精华
0
帖子
0
地板
发表于 2011-7-22 23:18:54 |显示全部楼层
我确实改了,只是发现的毛病少嘿嘿
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

RE: 我的作文贴 [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
我的作文贴
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1281700-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部