qqweer2007的作文贴，求指导~

qqweer2007UID：2686919

8.13号考T上了大学就没怎么写过作文了。囧。来这里跟大家学习交流
以后每天独立一篇+综合一篇。希望作文能拿个good！！

julijoneUID：2843727

感觉写得挺好 超时一点没关系 现场有压力写得快

qqweer2007UID：2686919

没思路啊，超时10分钟。囧啊。
8.1 独立

幕阳素素UID：3025800

7月18日
2/13/2010 Do you agree with the following statement? In a team,those who do not accept others' criticism cannot succeed.


There is an old saying that "evenHomer sometimes nods". As we all know, everyone makes mistakes. Acceptingcriticism help us correct them and ameliorate our own abilities. On thecontrary, those who can not accept criticism modestly will be [url=]confronted[/url] 我认为应该用主动形式with a dilemma during the process to success. Several followingreasons [url=]canhelp support[/url]
Provide adequate evidence to support my opinion that accepting criticism is necessary to success.

First of all, accepting criticism fromothers is definitely a shortcut to find shortages of us. As we all know,correcting mistakes means progress but finding mistakes is an arduous task forourselves. However, it is incredibly easy to revise others' work. It's atypical example when students dealing with reports, articles or home works.Students find it rather difficult to [url=]check their own mistakes[/url]不太清楚，检查错误，可以用check？ 用point out比较常见吧？有这样的用法告诉我一下吧
but finding mistakes from others' works is pretty simple. For thisreason, teachers sometimes ask students to check work for each other. It is a efficient way toimprove the quality of students' work. The reason of the phenomenon is thatpeople observe things from different angles and think about things withdifferent mind. As presented above, we can draw the conclusion that acceptingcriticize from others is [url=]efficient[/url][加an
way to find shortages of us. Hence, correcting mistakes andshortages is [url=]progress[/url]名词前应加a/an /the
for people can gain new experiences and skills by negatingthemselves and rebuilding themselves. In a nutshell, wise people improvethemselves and achieve goals by taking several steps as accepting criticism,finding shortages and correct them.

More importantly, in a cooperation of team,accepting criticize is thebasis of the relationship among team members. In 2010, a survey about what isthe key factor of failures of software development was conducted among severalinternational software companies. The proportion of failures caused bycontradiction in team is 30%, closely following the 45% of inappropriate plan.And deeper investigation shows that contradictions in teams are mainly causedby some team members' uncompromising when others try to criticize them. Modestyis Chinese traditional virtue and accepting others' suggestions is one of theforms of modesty. People who are modest are always welcome in a group. On theother hand, people who are arrogant and can not accept criticism willdefinitely be isolated. In other words, listening to others and acceptingsuggestions are tools to communicate with others. Hence, if everyone of a teamare modest and gladly to accept criticize(改为criticism), the team will be inconsensus and give a fantastic performance in works. Team's success will alsoresult in individual's success.

However, people can not expect success onlyby accepting others' suggestions. Opinions of their own （指代不清楚，是指people，还是others）are equally significant. What'smore, people should regard the path of checking by others a supervisor insteadof a corrector. Only devoting themselves to current work and trying their bestcan help people find their limit（limitation）. And thus they can improve abilities.

With reasons listed above, a conclusion canbe drawn that the willingness of accepting criticize（我查了一下，criticize确实是动词） is closely related to the success of a team as well as anindividual.

幕阳素素UID：3025800

不好意思，不会传上来，贴的话就是乱七八糟的了。我争取尽快学会啊，别急

theflyfishUID：2101420

改好了。非常不错。

qqweer2007UID：2686919

独立 7.18

qqweer2007UID：2686919

7.18 TPO 7 综合

冰雪蜂鸟UID：2754485

打错了，清理内容。

冰雪蜂鸟UID：2754485

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticizecouldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.

These is
(用these的话复数在哪里？如果是复数为什么还是is？应该用It is…)an old saying that"even Homer sometimes nods". As we all know, everyone makes mistakesand accepting criticize help us correct them and ameliorate our own abilities. (这句话有语法问题，everyonemakes mistakes 是一句完整的话，再写一句。尽管有and还是分开更简洁明确。Accepting criticizehelps us correct…) On the contrary, those who cannot accept criticize modestlywill be confronted with (不用被动,直接confront就好) dilemma during the process to success. Several following reasons canhelp support my opinion that accepting criticize is necessary to success.

First of all, correcting mistakes meansprogress and finding mistakes in is a arduous task for ourselves but a easywork for others. It's a typical example when students dealing with reports,articles or homeworks (homework). Students find it rather difficult to checktheir own mistakes but finding mistakes from others' works is pretty simple.
The reason of the phenomenon is that people observethings from different angles and think about things with different mind. So we can drawa conclusion that accepting criticize from others is definitely a shortcut tofind shortages of us. As presented above, correcting mistakes isprogress for people can gain new experiences and skills by negating themselvesand rebuilding themselves. In a nutshell, wise people improve themselves andachieve goals by taking several steps as accepting criticize, finding shortagesand correct them.
这一段观点和论据都非常好的，我也学习了！但是可以不可以重新organize一下段落呢？将橘色部分 “sowe…”作为第一句开门见山，绿色部分的主要内容作为第二句解释主题，然后是前面的例子，最后是后面的总结。只是我个人更倾向于这样的结构啊~

More importantly, in a cooperation of team,accepting criticize is basis of the relationship among team members. Modesty isChinese traditional virtue and accepting others' suggestions is one of theforms of modesty. People who are modest are always welcome in a group. On theother hand, people who are arrogant and cannot accept criticize will definitelybe isolated. In other words, listening to others and accepting suggestions aretools to communicate with others. Hence, if everyone of a team are (is) modesand likely to accept criticize, the team will be in consensus and give afantastic performance in works. Team's success will also result in individual'ssuccess. "

However, people cannot expect success onlyby accepting others' suggestions. Opinions of their own are equallysignificant. What's more, people should regard the path of checking by others asupervisor instead of a corrector. Only devoting themselves to current work andtrying their best can help people find their limit. And thus they can improveabilities.
我认为后连段观点也很好，从individual上升到team，而且文章组织结构也很好！

With reasons listed above, a conclusion canbe drawn that the willingness of accepting criticize is closely related to thesuccess of a team as well as an individual.

qqweer2007UID：2686919

11# 应小呆
辛苦了。
语病很多啊。我无语。真是见笑了。

应小呆UID：3109940

欢迎你来改我的作文~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1280678-7-1.html

7.165 y6 T* u$ k7 }- v+ H
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: In a cooperation of team, the people who cannot accept criticize couldn’t be successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your idea.10,2,13 : O- Q# J6 e- i3 _) @




These（There） is an old saying that "even Homer sometimes nods"（学习了~）. As we all know, everyone makes mistakes and accepting criticize helps us correct them and ameliorate （学习了~）our own abilities. On the contrary, those who can not accept criticize modestly will be confronted with dilemma during the process to success. Several following reasons can help support my opinion that accepting criticize is necessary to success.（学习了一种新开头方式~）


First of all, correcting mistakes means progress and finding mistakes in（去掉in？另外我觉得and前后连接的两个虽然含义上并不并列，但猛一看会被误解呢( ⊙ o ⊙ )） is a arduous task for ourselves but a easy work for others. It's a typical example when students dealing with reports, articles or homeworks. Students find it rather difficult to check their own mistakes but finding mistakes from others' works is pretty simple. The reason of the phenomenon is that people observe things from different angles and think about things with different mind. So we can draw a conclusion that accepting criticize from others is definitely a shortcut to find shortages of us. As presented above, correcting mistakes is progress for people can gain new experiences and skills by negating themselves and rebuilding themselves. In a nutshell, wise people improve themselves and achieve goals by taking several steps as accepting criticize, finding shortages and correct them.（我觉得后面这句扩展蛮好的~我觉得这段要是加个更细致点的例子就更好了，那个例子太短了，感觉不如你的说理有说服力呢）2 O7 E3 w# g5 E0 d' ?0 V' P7 N5 n
, S* h  U' H; K

More importantly, in a cooperation of team, accepting criticize is basis of the relationship among team members. Modesty is Chinese traditional virtue and accepting others' suggestions is one of the forms of modesty. People who are modest are always welcome in a group. On the other hand, people who are arrogant and can not accept criticize will definitely be isolated. In other words, listening to others and accepting suggestions are tools to communicate with others. Hence, if everyone of a team are（is？） modest and likely(不太明白likely在这里的这种用法==) to accept criticize, the team will be in consensus and give a fantastic performance in works. Team's success will also result in individual's success（学习了~）.



c0 V
However, people can not expect success only by accepting others' suggestions. Opinions of their own are equally significant. What's more, people should regard the path of checking by others a supervisor instead of a corrector. Only devoting themselves to current work and trying their best can help people find their limit. And thus they can improve abilities.) k6 U* ?! @$ C1 w2 h& w6 j




With reasons listed above, a conclusion can be drawn that the willingness of accepting criticize is closely related to the success of a team as well as an individual.

qqweer2007UID：2686919

7.16