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[未归类] 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】paooozhixia163的作文帖,欢迎交流指导! [复制链接]

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发表于 2011-7-27 10:19:03 |只看该作者 |正序浏览
本帖最后由 paooozhixia163 于 2011-8-11 19:06 编辑

直接点击该帖子的链接就可下载我的作业,欢迎各位犀利的判官批改,力求在疼痛中总共同进步!!!!
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发表于 2011-8-12 19:52:13 |只看该作者
29# pirateasy 不需要权限,都是可以【添加附件】的,你找一下,在回复主题的下方就有,这样直接贴出来的作文如果考试的时候写了,会被ETS判雷同的。
shero!

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发表于 2011-8-12 15:08:15 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 carol0607 于 2011-8-12 15:09 编辑

~

功底了得!

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1284071-4-1.html

欢迎修改我的作文~!
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发表于 2011-8-12 11:31:38 |只看该作者
8.11 综合
The professor debates the reading passage's idea that there are three disadvantages make the online encyclopedias less useful than traditional ones.

First of all, the lecturer admits that there are several errors exist in the online encyclopedias, he(不是she?!) claims that the printed encyclopedias also have errors. It is much easier for the online encyclopedias to correct the inaccuracies conveniently (和前文easier意思重复,可不要) than for the printed encyclopedias. Moreover, to the traditional encyclopedias, we need to wait a few decades to revise.

Secondly, the professor casts doubt on the reading's passage that the second shortage of online encyclopedias is the hacker. The speaker indicates that there are two strategies to get rid of the problem. One is to put crucial facts on the online encyclopedias that no one access to change the contents. Another one is to employ a special editor, whose duty is (to)focus on monitor (monitoring) the changes and limit the changes.

Lastly, the speaker demonstrates that the traditional encyclopedias focus inaccurately, because of the limited space, the judgments concerning whether the contents are related or not are not accurate. Thus, the traditional encyclopedias don't reflect the interests that people really have. However, the online encyclopedias represent the academic articles, and the various diversity (diversities) of articles are added in to further indicate the main idea. From the speaker's perspective, the different kinds of diversities are advantages in the online encyclopedias.

小错误也是~
另外,想问一下你,TPO作文练习有听力原文吗,还有,你写作的时候看过原文了没,我觉得好犀利。我对自己是否听全了内容表示相当滴怀疑~~~~~~~Ps. 欢迎回改~~~

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发表于 2011-8-12 11:10:28 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 pirateasy 于 2011-8-12 11:12 编辑

抱歉我权限不够还不能上传附件,我贴这儿没问题吧?~~
Agree or Disagree, in order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.

Outstanding people always stand out.
1. The capability of innovation is essential for people to win the heated competition in recent days.
2. Trying new things can bring about a lot of surprise in their way.
3. Taking the rare risks, which most people are

I disagree with the statement that people who are similar with others (加rather意思更明确,个人意见,或为避免与下文的重复,用comparing with who)than differ from them are more probable to succeed eventually. From my perspective, outstanding people always stand out, so the man who wants to win always has his own special characters rather than following the main stream.

First of all, creativity and innovation are becoming extremely essential to the success because there are rapid and major changes in all areas. To cope efficiently with the environmental pollution, scientists must become more innovative to devise new environment friendly products and implement appropriate adoptions to improve the environment. Business man should be creative to put forward the beneficial strategies and make more profits. Even the students are encouraged to think creatively instead of keeping on conservatively, because increasing number of companies are in favor of employing workers of innovative talent. Thence creativity and innovation are advantageous for people to gain success in his area.

In further, people whose thoughts differ from others’ may be more potential to be successful. On the one hand, a man who used to think matters from another angle could find out the potential benefits from them. The most well regarded example is Bill Gate(Gates小错误啦) who is one of the richest business men in the world. When Bill was still an undergraduate student, he showed excessive interest in Computer Science. Not until he received the degree of Bachelor, he decided to leave school and establish his own enterprise, Microsoft. His special foresight and excessive bravery contribute to his success. On the other hand, the special persons are more likely to handle the pressures from risk and have the considerable confidences to move forward to the success. Therefore, people who think unlike others are superior in attaining their achievements to the mass.

Lastly, to the people(person)who succeed(succeeded) in his career (,he) should improve himself and never give up even if they fail(he fails) sometimes. A survey published by US News demonstrates that nearly 80% of the businessmen have met various kinds of failures in their way to succeed. Some of them choose to constantly overcome the fear of failure and struggle again and again, because they are born to live on the edge. Others like most of the ordinary people, however, give up trying another time and return back to their normal lives. Thus, unlike the common people, the final winners are those people who have the strong belief to succeed and the intelligence to remove the obstacles on their way to win.

In conclusion, I incline the idea that people who always varies from others is more possible to gain accomplishment, because the capabilities of creative thinking, special foresight and fearless (fearlessness) of difficulties can lead them to succeed.

写得棒极了,原来你就是传说中的,大牛~~~~

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发表于 2011-8-11 12:47:51 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 lyn7981 于 2011-8-11 13:04 编辑

8.10 Annie's 修改稿
综合:
独立:
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发表于 2011-8-11 09:28:57 |只看该作者
8.10 综合
楼主记得回改哦!
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发表于 2011-8-10 08:32:00 |只看该作者
23# smenxiao
的确!你道出了我心中的痛,想写的太多写不完的感觉。每次限时都未遂。
shero!

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发表于 2011-8-9 21:24:48 |只看该作者
8月8日的独立改好了~
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发表于 2011-8-9 18:18:08 |只看该作者
8.8独立已改。
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发表于 2011-8-6 17:45:48 |只看该作者
搞定!
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发表于 2011-8-6 15:37:57 |只看该作者
不错,欢迎回改
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发表于 2011-8-6 14:21:40 |只看该作者
8.5 独立写作 by sunboy
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发表于 2011-8-5 21:34:49 |只看该作者
8.4 家中网络故障 久等了~!
http://sns.gter.net/space.php?ui ... =blog&id=118978
冷暖自知,童话换一个角度发生

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发表于 2011-8-5 09:55:08 |只看该作者
论点很不错,学习了~
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RE: 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】paooozhixia163的作文帖,欢迎交流指导! [修改]
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