生如夏花小组---第7次作业

bluecathyUID：2231215

生如夏花小组---第7次作业
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

This is an era of longevity, the UN declares so many times that there are more and more people living longer in the world and our society has accelerated population aging. Once I discussed the causes of this phenomenon with my grandma, she concluded mainly in 3 reasons--the development of science and technology, a peaceful world we live in and the general public's consciousness of being healthy.

First of all, the increasingly developing medical techniques have made many diseases easier to handle and cure and these techniques could also predict some potential diseases so accurately that several diseases could be prevented when they are in latency. As my grandma said, in 1920's, when she was a child, pneumonia is a fatal disease that made some of her relatives and neighbors die. People at that time even consider pneumonia as well as how people consider cancer today. But now, pneumonia is not a big case for the doctors. With the development of medicine, people could get better treatment and even get healed when they are nearly dead by medicines and operations.

Secondly, we are living such a world which pursues peace and development, although there are still some local conflicts in some regions. Due to the absence of world war, there are not a great many people lost their lives any longer during the war. And as we all know, there are always infections and famine coming with the war, let's also take my grandma's story as an example. She said that her first child who is my uncle died because of big famine like many people during Chinese civil war in 1940's. But now, during the peaceful period, if there is a famine, the nation would take out some of the reserve and distribute to those who suffer. So the more absences of the wars, the less people died because of these reasons.

Moreover, there are more and more people beginning to be conscious of a healthier life. They pursue a more suitable recipe for themselves and participate in more physical exercises. You know, every morning, I could see people jogging and playing table-tennis in the community I live. They do some sports may not for a hot body, but for a healthier body. Consequently, all these exercises will make people have a stronger body and make people more resistant to several diseases, they will definitely have a longer life.

appcherUID：2224936

生如夏花小组---第7次作业
In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

This is an era of longevity, the UN declares so many times that there are more and more people living longer in the world and our society has accelerated population aging. Once I discussed the causes of this phenomenon with my grandma, she concluded mainly in 3 reasons--the development of science and technology, a peaceful world we live in and the general public's consciousness of being healthy.（开头不错，借助别人的嘴说话。学习。）

First of all, the increasingly developing medical techniques have made many diseases easier to handle and cure and these techniques could also predict some potential diseases so accurately that several diseases could be prevented when they are in latency. As my grandma said, in 1920's, when she was a child, pneumonia is a fatal disease that made some of her relatives and neighbors die. People at that time even consider pneumonia as well as how people consider（直接删掉就好） cancer today. But now, pneumonia is not a big case for the（这个词腰部还是不要？）doctors. With the development of medicine, people could get better treatment and even get healed when they are nearly dead by medicines and operations.

Secondly, we are living such a world which pursues peace and development, although there are still some local conflicts in some regions. Due to the absence of world war, there are not a great many people lost their lives any longer during the war. And as we all know, there are always infections and famine coming with the war, let's also take my grandma's story as an example. She said that her first child who is my uncle died because of big famine like many people（看不懂）during Chinese civil war in 1940's. But now, during the peaceful period, if there is a famine, the nation would take out some of the reserve and distribute to those who suffer. So the more absences of the wars, the less people died because of these reasons.

Moreover, there are more and more people beginning to be conscious of a healthier life. They pursue a more suitable recipe for themselves and participate in more physical exercises. You know, every morning, I could see people jogging and playing table-tennis in the community I live. They do some sports may（可以作副词吗）not for a hot body, but for a healthier body. Consequently, all these exercises will make people have a stronger body and make people more resistant to several diseases, they will definitely have a longer life.

写得不错啊，很流畅，每个分论点阐述的也很清楚，就是420字，30分钟写得完吗？
但是我觉得还要注意用词和句子，这一点我也做的不好，但是这是提高必须的。

mercy123UID：2356484

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