[优秀习作] issue138 about mistakes 50分钟写完的：（ so [复制链接]

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楼主

发表于 2004-2-20 11:44:12 |只看该作者

issue138 about mistakes 50分钟写完的：（ so

138"Only through mistakes can there be discovery or progress."

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Admittedly, everybody will make mistakes in his or her life. However, meanwhile,mistakes can aslo contribute to discovery and progress. It totally depends on how people regard mistakes.

First of all, those who are willing to take risks to make mistakes will turn out to be more likely to make progress. There is no denying that anyone will have to make mistakes because of his or her own limitation or constraints, which may include imperfect information, limited material resources, mental factors and so forth. However, people's mind will  boggle when facing problems or challenge if they are scared of making mistakes. Thereby, they will
do nothing. For example, there is a kind of pesticide named 666. Why called 666? because the inventor had experimented it for 666 times. He lost for 665 times but he never gave up ,and finally succeeded at the 666th time. This sufficiently illustrates the point that people can attain success more likely only when he or she dares to make mistakes. In a word, Discovery and progress requires courage in human beings.

In addition, mistakes can help people to draw somethings for lessons, which will conduce to discovery or progress. As we know, any discovery or progress is never a piece of cake. There is no doubt that we must explore, dig and find some skills and techniques contributing to realizing discovery or progress, and sometimes experience works likewise. Moreover, people just use the means of try-errors to spot the appropriate solution of certain problems. As the old famous Chinese saying goes," failure is the mother of success." It means that although people tend to make mistakes which lead to failure, such mistakes can help people to self-examine and conclude. By this means, people will attain success eventually.

However, not only through mistakes can there be discovery and progress. On one hand, There lie several occasional causes leading to discover or progress. Consider, for instance, the famous universal gravitation law. Newton, the big physician, happened  to  be enlightened by the falling apple hitting on the head so that he discovered the law.  On the other hand, making effort can reduce the possibility of making mistakes. That is, people can try to control some conditions to make less mistakes. In sum, discovery and progress is not  engendered absolutely accompanied with mistakes.

In conclusion, people should develop a correct attitude towards mistakes. We should not only
face the mistakes actively and learn from them, but also strive to exploit our own potential and  control mistake occurrence . Thus, we are bound to make greater progress continually in the future.

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沙发

发表于 2004-2-20 11:45:42 |只看该作者

so猫，好妹妹

我就指望你帮我改了;)

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pooh
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板凳

发表于 2004-2-20 18:01:34 |只看该作者

Admittedly, everybody will make mistakes in his or her life. However, meanwhile,mistakes can aslo （also多余，前面没说mistake起其他什么作用）contribute to discovery and progress. It totally depends on how people regard mistakes. （depend..on..是指人们在面临有所选择的时候应该由谁做主，这里没有提出明显的两个选择吧或两种情况吧，it 不明确啊）

however,用得不太合适吧，

First of all, those who are willing to take risks to make mistakes will turn out to be more likely to make progress. There is no denying that anyone will have to make mistakes because of his or her own limitation or constraints, which may include imperfect information, limited material resources, mental factors and so forth. However, people's mind will boggle when facing problems or challenge if they are scared of making mistakes. Thereby, they will
do nothing. For example, there is a kind of pesticide named 666. Why called 666? because the inventor had experimented it for 666 times. He lost for 665 times but he never gave up ,and finally succeeded at the 666th time. This sufficiently illustrates the point that people can attain success more likely only when he or she dares to make mistakes. In a word, Discovery and progress requires courage in human beings.
不错啊，这个例子很好，表达得比较清晰。

In addition, mistakes can help people to draw somethings for lessons （draw sth. for lessons有这样的用法？）, which will conduce to discovery or progress. As we know, any discovery or progress is never a piece of cake. There is no doubt that we must explore, dig and find some skills and techniques contributing to realizing discovery or progress, and sometimes experience works likewise. Moreover, people just use the means of try-errors to spot the appropriate solution of certain problems. As the old famous Chinese saying goes," failure is the mother of success." It means that although people tend to make mistakes which lead to failure, such mistakes can help people to self-examine and conclude. By this means, people will attain success eventually. 最后这句有些绝对了，你只要把失败对于成功的指导意义说明白就可以了，别乱引伸

However, not only through mistakes can there be discovery and progress. On one hand, There lie several occasional causes leading to discover or progress. Consider, for instance, the famous universal gravitation law. Newton, the big physician, happened to be enlightened by the falling apple hitting on the head so that he discovered the law. On the other hand, making effort can reduce the possibility of making mistakes. That is, people can try to control some conditions to make less mistakes. In sum, discovery and progress is not engendered absolutely accompanied with mistakes.
牛顿的例子好像不太合适，他只是受掉落苹果的启发对这一过程产生了好奇，是进一步研究的结果，怎么会这么容易呢！

In conclusion, people should develop a correct attitude towards mistakes. We should not only
face the mistakes actively and learn from them, but also strive to exploit our own potential and control mistake occurrence . Thus, we are bound to make greater progress continually in the future.
最后这段不太好，第一句像是教训别人，而且无意义。最后一句似乎有点喊口号的意思。

总的来说，不错啊，语句通顺，没大毛病，已经很好了，就是在逻辑和衔接上还有待提高，mm一起加油啊。

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地板

发表于 2004-2-21 12:30:28 |只看该作者

firstly，thanks a lot：）
你提到一些不恰当，绝对的句子表述，我想我用词考虑到了，但还不够，确实应该加上点more likely之类的东东。
第四段，我的意思就是启发等因素是偶然性的，必须考虑进发现的原因中，newton如果不被苹果启发一下，他根本可能就不会想到万有引力阿。

finally，为什么喊我mm啊？我是male阿：）

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