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99. In any realm of life-whether academic, social, business, or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic, point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superseded by simpler, more immediate options.
In contemporary society, there is a growing concerning about how to make success among no matter whether youngster(是否应该用youngsters)or sophisticated people (这是两个句子了,这样用不通) all want to succeed because success means coming of welfare, fame, social status and so on. (第一句与第二句之间的转折不明显,可以再加一句:most of people are likely to consider things from a pragmatic vies.或类似的来。) But the title statement asserts that in any realm of life as well the only way to succeed is to take practical view. In fact, it is far away from the truth; the success due to many complex factors, and taking practical is one of them.(这句话的问题很大,到底是两个句子,还是due to many complex factors是success的定语,如果是前者due to不是动词,不能做谓语,如果是后者,就不要用and) It is true that pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, as well as the idealistic view warrant(主谓不一致) real success.
同志呀,才短短的一段话就折磨多的语法错误,你在这上面真的要注意了。
First of all, any behavior of human being is based on survival because survival is the first of (用to,of表示是后面的其中之一)all others like enjoyment, seeking hobby, having a trip etc. Thus, in order to survive people have to take pragmatic behavior though under most times (有这个用法吗?)they would not like to. As (去掉as)a case in point, there is a person who has fascinated in music, but tomorrow he will have no money to support his family; now he is facing too choices; one is to go on enjoying his hobby without any rewards, and another is to go to restaurant to sever people; which one he will choice?(分号乱用,是choose,OK?) Generally speaking, an average person will choose the later though he probably does not like doing it at all, because he want to live and he has no better choice but to take the work, still the hobby could seek after he can live on himself. Therefore, the survival is the base of all others. Similarly, a scientist could not research completely according to his own interest and must consider the benefit of his research work. A person who has no ability to live on himself could not concentrate other work that cannot bring any fruit to him. Consequently, pragmatic behavior can guarantees survival.
On the other hand, people who can survive should seek the idealistic point of view because idealistic goals could(这是你的观点,用语气强一点的词,e.g. can) motivate people to go after greater success. For instance, in academic realm, researchers should have a idealistic goal in order to attain the academic success. The theory of relativity, Einstein work(语法问题) on it entirely attribute(同上) to his goal of seeking the truth; although the theory is too idealistic and profound so that few people could understand clearly, yet it contributes tremendously to society. So if people who would like to achieve greater success and make important contributions to human being should set up a idealistic goal.
However, it must be admitted that undue pragmatic views could lead to materialism, and excessive idea could result in the work which is far away from the real life and concern about only immediate benefits. Hence, people should keep a balance between two sides; only in this way can people make success, as well as the society could develop healthily and rapidly.
同学阿,语法错误太多了,看到后面我就没有仔细的帮你看语法错误了。就文章的立意和逻辑来讲,也不是很顺,虽然结构是比较清楚地。题目中的“academic,social,business,or political”你都没有提到。
还需要加油呀。下次发的时候检查一下语法错误。可能说的比较直接,但是是出于帮助你进步的角度。别介意阿。:)
你要加油哦,你的语法错误真的不少。:) |
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