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warmhearted520
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-9-7 18:09:43 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目:The well-being of a society is enhanced when many of its people question authority

正文: (我的第一段是自己造的模板)A clear-cutting border divided the individual discussing disadvantage and benefit of questioning the authority into two factions: one insisted that the well-being of a society was enhanced after challenging the authority; the other asserted that questioning the authority could not reach the objective and result due to some politic factor. In despite of ideal condition that welfare could be heightened by questioning the authority, in real society which was not too democratic, the prospective outcome or objective will be unable to arrive.

Why did one should challenge the authority?  It was because the mighty exists diverse, more or less, inherent flaw. In the world, I acceded that some authority was more excellent than common civilian in different field, at least in the realm one specialized in. However, there was not perfect man throughout the world and there were always some drawbacks in some aspects , like character, appearance, action , and so on.  Thus, when addressing some question , especially some events about national boom and decadence. the flaw must be ruled out , but as many persons , including these wise politician,  famous scientists, etc, often were difficult to find the question, despite that they hoped to sweep out the flaws. Thus, by questioning the authority, they could eradicate the flaws.

Density of the economic was controlled by the authority, such as president or minister of economic department.  a word from a authority, whether correct or inaccurate , could influence direction of economic and perspective of nation. For example, Roosevelt legislated that any people could obtain the land after growing the plant in the land which was exploited in the wilderness. The word led to economic recovery from the economic depression in 1933, though there were other policies helpful to economic recovery. Thus, the language and action as well as other decision of authority would severely remarkably the well-being and boom of nation. Since the authority 's word or decision was such importance and determinant sense and they often had some flaw in the diverse aspects, to challenge their flaw was equal to enhance the well-being of society. Or In other words, to revise the fallacy in the mighty body by questioning them was to remedy the flaw of policy which influenced the welfare and prosper of country.

Undoubtedly, challenging the mighty was good idea  for augmenting the welfare of the society.  It is unfortunate that the thought was merely utopian idea. NO one would forget the history during the course of Copernicus era.  In order to enhance the well-being by improving the advancement of science, Copernicus established the heliocentric theory which contradicted the geocentric theory the authority stubbornly supported, but ultimate result was to be persecuted by authority at that times.  Bruno was burned to death because he defied the disregard towards truth that sun was center and earth rotate around the sun, but not contrary . Therefore, though person were eager to improve the boom of society by questioning the authority to make them revise the flaw they did not give sufficient emphasis, the idea was unreal or utopian because of politic reason.

As a consequence, although it could enhance the well-being by questioning the authority who controlled the lot of national welfare，the idealistic thought often was discussed in theoretical realm rather than really implemented in practical living.

I conceded the former conclusion of questioning the mighty. However, due to some other factor, like political oppression, it was often situation that to challenge the authority could not reap true objective------augmenting the welfare of the society, even effect the press from the authority.

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bread
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沙发

发表于 2004-9-7 18:32:55 |只看该作者

大致看了一下，感觉论据不太充分。
你的意思大概是说：从理论上说，质疑权威可以enhance well-being，但是因为政治等原因，导致这个理想实现不了。
我感觉好象和题目不太符合。
另外你关于哥白尼的例子我觉得也不适合。文章说的是many of its people question，而哥白尼只是一个人，或许正是因为只有一个人而力量不够大。

PS:我也是菜鸟，再加上现在头晕的厉害，估计……呵呵
看别人文章可真是比写还难啊，我一会儿清醒了再看看。

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pippo1983
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板凳

发表于 2004-9-7 19:22:10 |只看该作者

A clear-cutting border divided the individual discussing disadvantage and benefit of questioning the authority into two factions: one insisted that the well-being of a society was enhanced after challenging the authority; the other asserted that questioning the authority could not reach the objective and result due to some politic factor.太肯定了，明显有人完全反对么，最好用may之类的词限定

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warmhearted520
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地板

发表于 2004-9-7 20:22:09 |只看该作者

谢谢bread的修改，我想和你讨论一下，不知可否？

copernicus的例子不好！
我第一段：指出authortiy存在缺陷。
  第二段：authority是决定着well-being的成败，
      所以在总结中说：修正authority 的缺陷使之完美，就可以提高在一个社会的well-  being
   第三段：在现实中行不通的“question the authority'实际上不是好办法，从另一个侧面否定了作者的观点：challenging the authority can enhance the well-being.
不知这种想法可以不？请指正，谢谢！！！

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warmhearted520
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5楼

发表于 2004-9-7 20:23:47 |只看该作者

很感谢pippo1983的指点，谢谢！！！

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bread
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6楼

发表于 2004-9-7 22:43:01 |只看该作者

恩，我觉得你的前两段还不错，不过顺序调一下比较好些我感觉。
先说authority决定了well-being（不过感觉不太好论证啊）
然后说authority有缺陷，所以为了enhance well-being，人们应该question。
对了，想想后发现那个哥白尼的例子还是可以用的。当作反面例子，正是因为他力量小，所以为了起到真正的作用，需要many people。（不知道你觉得如何？）
另外，我觉得不一定要从某一角度来反对吧。而且，你说“现实中行不通的不是好办法”，可这并没有否认question the authority by many people 本身对enhance没有作用。
我觉得还有很多方面可以来支持论点，比如：人们开始质疑表明越来越多的人意识到自己是社会的一份子，他们有责任为社会负责，因此他们会更努力地服务于社会，从而enhance the well-being。还有，质疑也可以提高人们的logical abilities，开始critical thinking，这也是有助于enhance the well-being的。

PS:呵呵，也不知道我说的对不对，你批判着看吧。^_^

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ZZZ@MARYLAND
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7楼

发表于 2004-9-8 00:07:11 |只看该作者

ZZZ@MARYLAND的愚见

ZZZ@MARYLAND的愚见：
well-being是说全社会的well-being，不是一个人的。第三段中我觉得你是在说哥白尼和布鲁诺的well-being，他们的挑战时的全人类受益了。我觉得还是一个可取的例子。同时，我同意面包的说法，可以做一个反例，说明一个人的力量不足以使得整个社会进步，但是，到了后来，由于接受的人多了，敢于质疑的人多了，那么他们的理论就会被证实，被接受。

为什么？到底为什么！！

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