[a习作temp] Argument 127 拍砖必回！！！请留下连接！ [复制链接]

maria
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-3-18 20:52:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

------题目------
The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
'In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer concludes that by installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, they can improve productivity, saving time, foster a better work ethic as well as improve their overall profits. At first glance, his/her suggestion is plausible, but after careful examination, we can find that it bears several flaws on reasoning.

To begin with, the arguer's assumption that installing software to identify their employee's Internet use on computer computers will foster a better ethic is open to doubt. Since supervised by other people when employees are working, they may feel very frustrated. As this argument do not mention how many people spend time on personal recreation, we cannot rule out the possibility that there are quite a number of employees work hardly during work time. Under this circumstance, installing that software shows disrespect for most employees because this way means that this company does not trust them. Therefore those who do not occupy work time may not work as hard as before, which may cause their work ethic worse. In addition, for those like using Internet for personal use, this way may not necessarily stop them wasting time on shopping or playing games. Take playing games for example, since that software can detect their Internet use, they can play games that need not by linking into the Internet. Although they still play games, the software cannot detect them. In this sense, work ethic still cannot be improved.

Secondly, the arguer oversimplifies the process of improving a company's profits. Granted that after installing such software employees cost more time on their work, this does not mean that their profits will increase automatically. Are their products cheaper than the same kind of goods? Have they broadcast their products largely? Is the quality of them good? If products are not liked by the public, or their advertisement is not well designed, profits will not improve. Only when the arguer can tell us their products are very popular and the money spent on materials, broadcasting is little compared with the last price of their goods, can we believe that their profits will improve after installing software in order to improve their productivity.

In conclusion, the argument is specious. The arguer’s suggestions are not feasible enough based on his so little reasoning. In order to convince us, he/she should provide more information and think about this problem more sufficiently.

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beatleslwq
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沙发

发表于 2005-3-19 16:39:33 |只看该作者

In this argument, the arguer concludes that by installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, they can improve productivity, savingsave time, foster a better work ethic as well as improve their overall profits. At the first glance, his/herthe suggestion is plausible, but after careful examination, we can find that it bears several flaws on reasoning.

To begin with, the arguer's assumption that installing software to identify their employee's Internet use on computercompany computers will foster a better ethic is open to doubt. Since supervised by other people when employees arewhile working, they may feel very frustrated. As this argument do not mention how many people spend time on personal recreation, we cannot rule out the possibility that there are quite a number of employees work hardlyhard during work time. Under this circumstance, installing that software shows disrespect for most employees because this way means that this company does not trust themindicates distrust. Therefore those who do not occupy work time不太清楚这种用法 may not work as hard as before, which may cause their work ethic worseworsen their~. In addition, for those like using Internet for personal use, this way may not necessarily stop them wasting time on online shopping or playing games. Take playing games for example, sincethough that software can detect their Internet use, they can play games that need not by linkinglink into the Internet. Although they still play games, the software cannot detect them有点重复了. In this sense, work ethic still cannot be improved.

Secondly, the arguer oversimplifies用得好 the process of improving a company's profits. Granted that after installing such software employees cost more time on their work, this does not mean that their profits will increase automatically. Are their products cheaper than the same kind of goods? Have they broadcast their products largely? Is the quality of them good? If products are not liked by the public, or their advertisement is not well designed, profits will not improve.还可以更多从employee的角度说，如安装软件与工作效率，创造力没有必然联系 Only when the arguer can tell us their products are very popular and the money spent on materials, broadcasting is little compared with the last price of their goods, can we believe that their profits will improve after installing software in order to improve their productivity句式多样化，好.

In conclusion, the argument is specious. The arguer’s suggestions are not feasible enough based on his sothe little reasoning. In order to convince us, he/she should provide more information and think about this problem more sufficiently.

写得已经很好了，第二段似乎可以想的更深入些.
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256963
按你的意见又改了一下

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maria
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板凳

发表于 2005-3-21 11:52:09 |只看该作者

谢谢beatleslwq
经你提醒，确实第二段还可以从好多角度反驳,我思考面太窄了
thank you very much！！

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haze1894
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地板

发表于 2005-3-21 16:07:10 |只看该作者

------题目------
The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
'In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits.'
------正文------
In this argument, the arguer concludes that by installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, they can improve productivity, saving(save) time, foster a better work ethic as well as improve their overall profits. At first glance, his/her suggestion is plausible, but after careful examination, we can find that it bears several flaws on reasoning.

To begin with, the arguer's assumption that installing software to identify（monitor) their employee's Internet use on computer computers will foster a better ethic is open to doubt. Since(这句话是不是应该这样写(employees might feel frustrated when they are supervised by monitors during working hours) supervised by other people when employees are working, they may feel very frustrated.(furthermore) As(as 去掉） this argument do(doesnt) not mention how many people spend time on personal recreation, we cannot rule out the possibility that there are quite a number of employees work hardly during work time. Under this circumstance, installing that software shows disrespect for most employees because this way means that this company does not trust them. （这点应该写成员工们可能把这种行为视为不尊重，而不是你认为不尊重）Therefore those who do not occupy work time may not work as hard as before, which may cause their work ethic worse. In addition, for those like using Internet for personal use, this way may not necessarily stop them wasting time on shopping or playing games. Take playing games for example, since that software can detect their Internet use, they can play games that need not by linking into the Internet. Although they still play games, the software cannot detect them. In this sense, work ethic still cannot be improved.（这里换个娱乐例子好，也许他们因为不能用电脑游戏,shopping，转为聊天，这样也会影响到更多人的工作）

Secondly, the arguer oversimplifies the process of improving a company's profits. Granted that after installing such software employees cost more time on their work, this does not mean that their profits will increase automatically.（到这都非常好） Are their products cheaper than the same kind of goods? Have they broadcast their products largely? Is the quality of them good? If products are not liked by the public, or their advertisement is not well designed, profits will not improve. Only when the arguer can tell us their products are very popular and the money spent on materials, broadcasting is little compared with the last price of their goods, can we believe that their profits will improve after installing software in order to improve their productivity.（我觉得这段后半部分的展开太多了，有些内容是个人观点，也绝对化了）

In conclusion, the argument is specious. The arguer’s suggestions are not feasible enough based on his so little reasoning. In order to convince us, he/she should provide more information and think about this problem more sufficiently.

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