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[i习作temp] 请教：新东方的argument模版用还是不用？顺带我的第一篇argument [复制链接]

byriver11
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2006-7-20 22:51:38 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

新东方的模版该不该用呢？如果要改一下的话该怎么改？好心人帮帮忙。。。
我的第一篇argument,请拍。

2.
The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.
"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting."

In this argument, the arguer recommend that the DA should adopt a set of restrictions like nearby B community on landscaping and house painting, which is based on B’s success in increasing property values. After a careful examination, several flaws are found in the reasoning of this argument.

Firstly, the arguer commits a fallacy of "after this, therefore because of this" in assuming that adoption of a set of restrictions regarding the landscaping of yards and the painting of the exteriors of homes has resulted in the tripling of property values in Brookville. Except that, a great many facts may contribute to the rising. For instance, the economic of B have greatly developed among the seven years after the restrictions were carried on; the nature environment of the community was improved comparing with seven years ago; or the local government carry on a new policy which can stimulate the increasing of property values; and so on. Without consideration of these facts, we cannot agree with the arguer’s simple assumption that the adoption of those restrictions is the one and only reason for raising the property values.

Secondly, based on a false analogy, the arguer unfairly assumes that Deerhaven Acres could necessarily raise its property values by simply copying the policy of Brookville. Doing that might result in totally different ending because of distinctions existing between the two communities. It is much likely that DA is a large region with lots of houses in different patterns, meanwhile B is a smaller one with less amount of dwellings in similar forms; obviously, that kind of restrictions are more suitable when applied on B than they do on DA. It is also possible that while the residents in B are quite satisfied with the uniform, the residents in DA are unwilling to make their yards into the same pattern and their house into the same color; in this case, following the recommendation the arguer hold in DA might lend to the residents’ removing to other places. Accordingly, without taking into account of differences between the two communities, the arguer’s conclusion is unconvincing and somewhat ridiculous.

To conclude, the argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it logically accepted, the arguer would have to demonstrate that the tripling of property values in B certainly results from the set of restrictions concerning the landscaping and house painting. Moreover, it is necessary to provide evidences that DA has the same characters that B holds, which caused the effectiveness of the application of such a set of restrictions.

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marvinchen
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沙发

发表于 2009-7-19 20:22:06 |只看该作者

本帖最后由草木也知愁于 2009-7-19 20:57 编辑

改一改，当然能用啊。。。。。。。。。。。

寄托鼓励大家畅所欲言
但是发言请说明理由和根据
对于没有原由的回答
是对他人的误导和不负责任
谢谢！

by 草木也知愁

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草木也知愁
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板凳

发表于 2009-7-19 20:53:59 |只看该作者

本帖最后由草木也知愁于 2009-7-19 20:55 编辑

不建议

你自己写觉得无所谓
但是试试看过一百篇之后是什么感觉

模板本无罪但是如果不是自己写作习惯提炼出来的硬性把自己的思维割裂套用进去再加上不到家的语法文法基础那么分数也不会好看的

具体请看此帖
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=912688&highlight=

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Palermo
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地板

发表于 2009-8-11 17:54:46 |只看该作者

请问用这种模版的文章ARGUMENT3.5分能得到吗?我准备时间不够，要求不高

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草木也知愁
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5楼

发表于 2009-8-11 19:32:46 |只看该作者

请问用这种模版的文章ARGUMENT3.5分能得到吗?我准备时间不够，要求不高
Palermo 发表于 2009-8-11 17:54

如果自己基础不行而且每个点蜻蜓点水真的自己的有效字数一百左右

自己对照评分标准一看就知道了

根本上不了三分

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Palermo
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6楼

发表于 2009-8-11 19:56:08 |只看该作者

难道我的AW没希望了？我只求3分，下周三就考了，现在ARGUMENT只会依靠模版过活，issue写的感觉就跟那2分“范文”一样，措辞十分贫乏，都是地道的中式英语外加一些离谱的GRE词汇。。。
有没有办法保3分的底？

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草木也知愁
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7楼

发表于 2009-8-11 19:59:58 |只看该作者

只要三分的话别写的太惨就是了

2.5的人们一般是弄得太不像话了考出3分的人一坨一坨的这个是个基数

“措辞十分贫乏，都是地道的中式英语外加一些离谱的GRE词汇”
既然知道了就立刻去改不行么？
死保基础如果你写的东西让rater看不懂或者看着很别扭你觉得能被给多少分？
自己好好把评分规则吃透
良好的基础+天朝的白痴思维=4+

P.S.
三分在你的申请中还是很恶心的而且即使你拿着这个分数出去了出来混迟早要还在异国他乡受到的折磨更痛苦

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