[a习作temp] 【kaleidoscope】小组第八次作业argument238 by vina1114 [复制链接]

vina1114
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-8-16 01:10:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

In this argument, by comparing the situation of employment for graduating seniors in Green Mountain College (GMC) and Mira Vista College (MVC), the arguer concludes that the more students in MVC will find employment if they are offered the courses in business and computer technology as well as improve their interviewing and resumes skills with the help of additional job counselors. At the first look, it seems a well presented argument .however; the evidence lends little credible support for the argument.

To begin with, the author cites that 90 percent of last year’s graduating seniors in GMC that is a school having more business courses and job counsels than MVC find prospective jobs, but the author does not cite that how many graduating seniors in GMC last year. It is likely that the number of the graduating seniors in GMC is 100, and yet there were 500 graduating seniors in MVC last year. In addition, the graduating seniors who are offered prospective employment may major in some fields such as chemistry and physics which do not require business course and other factors like result of research and experiment may instead of suggestions form the job counsels to help them find job. So the author fails to substantiate his assumptions.

.

Secondly, the arguer cites that 70 percent of the seniors in MVC who informed the placement office that they want to seek jobs had get full-time job within three months after graduation. There is a possibility that only a few graduates of MVC informed the placement office of their information about employment. The rest of the graduates in MVC may find jobs without any record in placement office. Moreover, it is possible that more students will be employed after three months. Without considering these possibilities, the author’s claim is unconvincing and arguable.

Thirdly, the arguers unfairly assumes that if MVC take the same measures to offer more sources about business and job counselors , the more graduates in MVC will find employment like GMC. An important factor is overlooked by arguer that the quality of the graduates in two schools. Perhaps graduates in GMC are more popular with employers by their better abilities and a good knowledge of their major fields. So they are easier to find job .since the arguer fails to account for these factors, I can accept the author’s assumptions.

In sum, the argument is not well supported as it stands. To bolster it , the author should take all factors which may influence the employment of two colleges into consideration to make sure the conclusion justifiable.

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rjyuu
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沙发

发表于 2009-8-16 22:53:36 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 rjyuu 于 2009-8-19 13:08 编辑

In this argument, bycomparing the situation of employment for graduating seniors in Green MountainCollege (GMC) and Mira Vista College (MVC), the arguer concludes that the morestudents in MVC will find employment if they are offered the courses in businessand computer technology as well as improve their interviewing and resumesskills with the help of additional job counselors. At the first look(glance), it seems a well-presented argument .however;the evidence lends little credible support for the argument.

To begin with, the author cites that 90 percent oflast year’s graduating seniors in GMC that is,
a school having more business courses and job counsels thanMVC, findprospective jobs(恩？好像只是接到了offer…我们学校有些学长接到offer了却没去成),but the author does not cite that how many graduating seniors in GMC last year.It is likely that the number of the graduating seniors in GMC is 100, and yetthere were 500 graduating seniors in MVC last year. In addition, the graduatingseniors who are offered prospective employment may major in some fields such as chemistry and physics which do not require business course and otherfactors like result of research and experiment may instead of suggestions formthe job counsels to help them find job. So the author fails to substantiate his assumptions（。。。which assumption？s？）.

Secondly, the arguer cites that 70 percent of the seniors in MVC who informedthe placement office that they want to seek jobs had get full-time job withinthree months after graduation. There is a possibility that only a few graduatesof MVC informed the placement office of their information about employment. Therest of the graduates in MVC may find jobs without any record in placementoffice. Moreover, it is possible that more students will be employed afterthree months. Without considering these possibilities, the author’s claim isunconvincing and arguable.

Thirdly, the arguers unfairly assumes that if MVCtake the same measures to offer more sources about business and job counselors, the more graduates in MVC will find employment like GMC. An important factoris overlooked by arguer that the quality of the graduates in two schools.Perhaps graduates in GMC are more popular with employers by their better abilities and a good(这两个最好统一
要不然都比较级要不都不是)knowledge of their major fields. So they are easier to find job .since thearguer fails to account for these factors, I can（笔误了） accept the author’s assumptions.

In sum, the argument is not well supported as itstands. To better bolster it , the author should take all factors which mayinfluence the employment of two colleges into consideration to make sure theconclusion justifiable.

很有型的一篇argu
结构很不错
第一段
前面没有assumption 后面竟然冒出了一个“assumption不成立”
汗。。。
再就是
人口的问题
没看明白 uu倒是觉得
看毕业情况就得看比例不能看数量 Vina能再点明一下就好了
第二段很喜欢 uu苦于这个论据的批驳 Vina写的很好很清楚
学习了！

Uu的疑惑：都说找三个就行了。。。uu觉得一二两段都是再讲一件事
数据有问题
而还有一个被提到很多的批驳点：顾问有用但不是搞面试技巧的
没有被Vina提及
Uu也不知道在批驳点的取舍上何去何从

语言：满地道的
呵呵
不过如果Vina多背一些闪光句子
相信在语言变化方面会更加游刃有余
文章也会更出彩
因为Vina的结构雏形没什么问题
argu的句式固定
文采藻饰方面的工作很快就见成效了

如果Vina需要相关的
句子
可以联系uu 站内信或者qq都好78465139
嘻嘻
小组里面只有Vina还没有被uu找到~

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