[a习作temp] ARGUMENT26 求拍 [复制链接]

tyarel
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发表于 2010-7-8 20:55:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

求拍，一定回拍，谢谢
TOPIC: ARGUMENT26 - The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.

"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."
WORDS: 460
TIME: 00:46:23
DATE: 2010/7/8 20:28:10

Based on the success of the school band and the improvement of music facilities quality during Mr. Charles 5 years' duration in Steel City High School (SCHS), the author recommended Mr. Schade to the Saluda school as the director of the general music education programs. Yet, all the evidence mentioned in the argument is not as convincing as it seems at first glance.

Foremost, the author attributed the school band's success to Mr. Schade, which is not persuasive actually. Maybe the band is so excellent that it is always one of the best bands in the area and Mr. Charles did little to the band, which cannot show his talent and capacity to lead and direct the band. What's more, the author failed to illustrate the equal level of the bands in the area. It is likely that all the bands are terrible, or at least not good enough, and that's why the band of SCHS can win so many times. With so many potential contributors, it is tough to assess what Mr. Schade contributed to the school band of SCHS.

Moreover, another fact the author stated as evidence to support his suggestion is also not that potent. Admittedly, the quality of music facilities has been improved. However, the author didn't exclude other factors which may result in the development either. Perhaps the school board decided to develop the school band and it is them, not Mr. Schade, who made the decision and spent a great amount of money to better the instruments. Besides that, all these new instrument may be donated by the musical instrument company trying to advertise through the band. That’s why it is too rashly to conclude that the improvement is Mr. Charles's contribution.

Even if all mentioned above are what Mr. Schade did for the SCHS, it is not reasonable to draw the conclusion that he will fit the position in the Saluda school. No evidence has been shown to point out that Mr. Schade has experience of planning and directing general music education programs for the entire school system. It is harder and more complicated. What the author pointed out that Mr. Schade can handle perfectly is quite different from the new position. He probably just can tackle the problems of a school band and have no energy to direct the entire music education program. Hence, without the evidence that Mr. Schade did the same work great, I cannot be persuaded that he will be proper to the position.

All in all, the author didn't list the enough evidence to bolster his recommendation and the argument will be strengthened if he can offer more facts to demonstrate that Mr. Schade is talented and experienced enough to direct the music education program for Saluda school.