[i习作temp] 7.07 欢迎拍文修改小组 issue147 [复制链接]

issue147
---------------
"Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them."
提纲：

1. It seems like that tradition and modernization are a couple of enemies from there definition.
1)
Tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs , ways of life, etc., which has handed down from generation to generation in a society.
2)
Modernization refers to the technology, the open-minds, the process of urbanization and individual, or in a large sense, westernization. Such as Christmas
2.
However, both of them, tradition and modernization can exist in the society at the same time for their relationship.
1)
the development of modernization is effected by the tradition. Such at thanksgiving day we express our thanks to others. However, we do not take turkey as dinner because our ancients did not have the same experience as the ancients in USA.


2)

Many tradition things which handed over absolved modernization , such as technology. passing bless to each other by email or telephone instead of the tradition mail
3.
there is no need that we must choose between tradition and modernization.
正文：
The discussion of the issue that tradition and modernization are incompatible, as a result, one person must choose between them. At the glance, the opinion seems somewhat convincing, but further reflection tells me that I can not(你也爱这样，以后改成cannot吧) agree with it completely.（就我之前的教训来讲，所谓issue的issue范儿，就是把它写成一个论证自己观点的文章，希望你也思考这个问题）
It seems the truth（it is true that or it is the truth that） that tradition and modernization are incompatible form their definition. Tradition refers to the beliefs, values, customs, ways of life, etc., which has handed down from generation to generation in a society. While modernization refers to the technology, the open-minds, the process of urbanization and individual, or in a large sense, westernization. If one person lead an old way of live or solve some problems with an old value or beliefs, we will definite him or her as an out of date person and, sometimes, look down such kind of person. All of us want to have a good relationship with others who are surrounding us. So , as a result, we are try(trying) our best to go(keep) away (from)the condition （of)with being definited (to be)out of date. And that seems the reason why tradition and modernization are incompatible. However, is that the truth?(还是议论文的风格问题，我不建议你在issue中寻求模式上的创新。因为你这段看上去像是开头的继续，或者说还没有进入论证，believe or not)
Believe or not, tradition takes a great efforts in the development of the modernization. The beliefs, values and some custom only can be handed down from generation to generation. Without the same experiment（experience） and the period of the history, another country or people can hardly accept the tradition totally. Such as in the thanksgiving day, as one of the traditional festival in the western country, more and more people express their own thanks to others. However, as the result of different development of the history which without the stave period time as in the USA,(我还是想说你应该彻底的抛弃中式英语，保持思路清晰，比如说这一段，你的例子是在支持第一句还是第二句？又对你的观点起了怎样的作用，我很着急)
there are few people will eat turkey as their dinner which plays an important part in thanks giving day .

And at the same time, modernization cause some different in our traditional life. As we all know, with the development of the technology, as one part of modernization, our life become more and more convenient. With the appearance of TV or （and）phone or(and) IT, we have open-eyes for this society. And what’s more, contacting with other countries, we make a better understand and, as some one definite, more modernization(你的句子真的让人费解).
As （to）the relationship between the tradition and the modernization, there is no needs (like that)hat we must choose one between tradition and modernization. Many trational wisdoms are still relevant and can inspiring us to research for the solution to the present problems. And modernization can bring our better lives. As in many countries, there are modern urban where persons earn their money and lead their lives, and at the same time, there are also tradition countries where persons gathering together celebrate their own traditional festival.
So, both of them can exist in this society.
What we should do is that trying our best to balance(balance，首先，在你的文章中没有体现，而且方向也不对) the benefit both tradition and modernization. Both of them are important parts in our daily life, we have no need to abandon each of them.