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chikako.k
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-8-17 22:14:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

有点弱...大家帮忙～^^第一天 8.17
2008.5.16 NA
writing: 是telephone 还是television对人类的有more effect

Thequestion of whether telephone or television has more effects on human being isone that has concerned many people. It is held by some people that telephoneplays a vital role in the life of most people rather than the using of thetelevision. However, there is an equally good argument that television has madesignificant changes in our life. From my point of view, as one of the publicmedia, television abounds in the visual effects which can provide people adirect feeling that seems to affect us more than the telephone.
Firstand foremost, as a result of the timelinessof the television，we can get to know a greatnumber of news from home and abroad in a faster speed. And realizing thedevelopment trends all over the world will help us keep up with others at thesame time. All these may let us make progress, especially in the boosting of ourindividual personalities.
Futhermore, to utilize theconvenience of the scenes on television，people learn more knowledge in fact.For instance, students can learn how to apply a language more fluently with aprofound impression when watch the real communication circumstance. Thatwill
do a great favor in their progress.The housewife can also benefit from all sorts of TV programs, especially inlife skills. When they acquire a new method to improve the quality of our life.Only some tips can make them more comfortable and vivid. The family will becomeharmony and sweet. The aged take advantage of these programs which aim at particularpeople to enjoy themselves and alleviate the solitude who seem to stay withoutthe care of relatives. Thus their late years in their life are still full ofamusements.
Ultimately, we can dosome shopping via the TV. This way provides us
more convenience instead going out to be tired of lookingfor something you really need. The traffic will not always jam because of not somany people choose to buy commodities by bus or car any more. People justrequire to make a telephone call, all these will be settled in merely a fewminutes. With the clear advertisement played during the break of programs, peoplecan get a distinct comprehend to these products，therefore no matter rain orshine, you don’t be exhausted in shopping. The rest time you can use it to domore significant things rather than wasting in all kinds of waiting always happenwhen you are shopping.
In summary, compared tothe telephone, the television has been giving us more effects during our all life.It seems to a multicomponent
tool whichalter our life all the time and everyone need it.

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hypnoz UID：2731869 hypnoz 当前离线最后登录 2013-3-5 在线时间 1148 小时寄托币 1260 声望 16 注册时间 2009-11-28 阅读权限 5 帖子 11 精华 0 积分 1045 UID 2731869 禁止发言声望 16 寄托币 1260 注册时间 2009-11-28 精华 0 帖子 11 关注TA 加好友标签发消息	沙发发表于 2010-8-19 02:11:23 \|只看该作者提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

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fd笑笑
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板凳

发表于 2010-8-19 15:28:44 |只看该作者

不好意思啊，之前帮你改好的放在word里了，不小心删了。我能明天再帮你改好传上来吗？
这是我的作文地址，麻烦改一下：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1120674-3-1.html

从哪里跌倒就从哪里站起来！我一定能行！

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chikako.k
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地板

发表于 2010-8-19 17:41:29 |只看该作者

3# fd笑笑 没关系的，你的昨天改了，但是水平有限，请谅解～～

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chikako.k
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5楼

发表于 2010-8-19 21:44:03 |只看该作者

第二次 8月19
2008.12.5 NA
Do you agree or disagree: Playing sports give you more lessons about the life.

Our society is in a period of development, which making our world a better place to live. Playing sports as an essential part of our life seems to be ignored easily in the background that everyone take active part in the economic construction. it is my attitude that playing sports give us more lessons about the life that deserved to be insist on.
One of the primary reasons that playing sports can strengthen your physique no matter what exercise intensity level you do everyday. In the process of playing sports you will get a new understanding about the life，then the importance of healthy is also enhanced during this exercise. From the children to the aged, everyone will cherish each other. The alcoholism， drug abuse and sex transaction should decline sooner or later. A case in point is one of my friends is often used to live without regular scheme until one day he’s ill. With the guidance of the doctor, he keeps on appropriate exercise every week. Now he is always proud of telling me the effects of playing sports and assures that the life is so precious for everyone.
In addition, in all sorts of sports, people acquire more communications between different personalities. the participants can learn how to collaborate, give and harvest when faced with unforeseen circumstances. To play sports has become a chance to understand the effect of cohesion boost the development of personal growth undoubtedly.
Perhaps the most vital reason that playing sports give us more lessons about the life is it can strengthen our willpower. Whenever we need to deal with unknown difficulties，by cultivating from playing sports will let us face them more rationally and calmly. Then handle with them in a brave or even positive way instead of crying over split milk. We may take Yao Ming, a Chinese NBA superstar, for example. Just because of growing in playing sports, he always treat all kinds of hurts more strong without complaining. That is to say, playing sports give him more lessons about life, thus he can become the best player and deserved the fame.
Overall, playing sports is an vivid art that can make us live better. I think that playing sports give us more lessons about the life. Not only is in spirits, but also contain the establishing of our relationship between different personalities’people. If you insist on doing it, you will learn more and more.

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Colin_h
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6楼

发表于 2010-8-20 16:38:28 |只看该作者

批好了，写得不错，请回改谢谢

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fd笑笑
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7楼

发表于 2010-8-20 20:53:59 |只看该作者

恩，今天改好了8月17的作文。加油！

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从哪里跌倒就从哪里站起来！我一定能行！

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chikako.k
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8楼

发表于 2010-8-21 17:01:53 |只看该作者

The 3rd 8.21
(09.01.17 NA )Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.
The advertisement as one of the public media has a relatively closer connection with people’s daily life and become the most convenient way for people realizing all sorts of consumer goods. From the child to the aged, everyone can’t be excluded for the effects that the advertisement has brought to us. The food advertising is a partner of the enormous information of advertisement which has been essential factors during our personal developments, meanwhile the impact of the food advertisement has on is in an increasing tendency year by year. It is held by some people that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits, then taking a lot of unhealthy eating habits totally attribute to the influence of advertisements. From my point of view, the advertising is minor one of massive causes, broadly the causation is determind by the different internal problems. Rather than ascribing all the faults to the objective condition, we need to have reflections on ourselves.
From the diverse advertisements, we can get to know a great number of updated food contents, admittedly, many of them are extremely attractive and tempted us to purchase. We will be easily abandoned ourselves in them just for the bright color, the vivid scene and the agreeable reflection of the actors who plays in the advertisement. All these will also work up our appetite especially in a way. Nonetheless the advertisement mostly introduce how fascinating the goods are. Merely when we refer to the eating habits, it is all depended on ourselves. Some people prefer to gluttony, while others choose to arrange recipes in a regular way. All these choices are not a decision from an advertisement which can only provide a consultation. Most of the time, excessively inductive advertisements are not allowed to be played in public media because of they seem to misguide our consumers.
In addition, the advertisement definitely has an effect on the choices of consumers more or less as the ways of acquiring information. Most people like watching advertisements, then to advocate the life style that told in advertising. Fortunately, this usually happen in some adolescents or some adults who are not rational enough. They are easily influenced by these advertisements. Though we can’t to believe that advertising is the most importance cause for this. There are too many factors to affect the eating habits so that the personal diversities also play a vital role in it.
In summary, as long as we treat the effects of advertising has brought to us correctly, it can be an active part as well. We can utilize it to enrich our dull life or to learn some better life style about eating habits instead of unhealthy eating habits.

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9楼

发表于 2010-8-22 21:38:54 |只看该作者

我已经帮你改好了

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fannie227
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10楼

发表于 2010-8-23 15:41:14 |只看该作者

改好了，不对的地方请见谅

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11楼

发表于 2010-8-23 17:14:31 |只看该作者

Our society is in a period of development, which (删掉要么就用makes）making our world a better place to live. Playing sports as an essential part of our life seems to be ignored easily in the background that everyone takes active part in the economic construction. it is my attitude that playing sports give us more lessons about the life that deserve
to be insisted on.: \1 w- p& o0 K7 u" Y5 O
One of the(删掉） primary reasons that playing sports can strengthen your physique no matter what exercise intensity level you do everyday.
（这一句话毛病reason后面是个同位语从句，但是reason 后面没有了谓语，就是你这个句子写了一半，不如把reason 去点直接后面一句话就行）In the process of playing sports you will get a new understanding about the life，then the importance of healthy is also enhanced during this exercise.（感觉不拖，这是一个句子你用了两个主语，不如改成realize the importance of being healthy healthy 是一个形容词前边要加being ） From the（负数的时候表泛指不加the） children to the aged, everyone will cherish
是不是指的物each other. The alcoholism， drug abuse and sex transaction woulddecline sooner or later. A case in point is one of my friends is often used to live without regular scheme until one day he’s ill. With the guidance of the doctor, he keeps on appropriate exercise every week. Now he is always proud of telling me the effects of playing sports and assures that the life is so precious for everyone.3 V4 W8 s5 s$ c
In addition, in all sorts of sports, people acquire more communications between different personalities（特性之间的交流？）. the participants can learn how to collaborate, give and harvest when faced with unforeseen circumstances. To play sports has become a chance to understand the effect of cohesion
and boost（一般没有一个句子两个动词的）
the development of personal growth undoubtedly.（这一段，我不知道些的什么话.感觉有点不靠谱）
Perhaps the most vital reason that playing sports give us more lessons about the life is it can strengthen our willpower. Whenever we need to deal with unknown difficulties，by cultivating from playing sports
（by。。。。是以个状语。你这个句子里面少了主语）will let us face them more rationally and calmly. Then
we handle with them in a brave or even positive way instead of crying over split milk. We may（去掉） take Yao Ming, a Chinese NBA superstar, for example. Just because of growing in playing sports, he always treat all kinds of hurts more strong without complaining. That is to say, playing sports give him more lessons about life, thus he can become the best player and deserved the fame（reputation）.: b! h6 s" O! D% S7 v m$ p ~' _
Overall, playing sports is an vivid art that can make us live better. I think that playing sports give us more lessons about the life. Not only is in spirits, but also contain the establishing of our relationship between different personalities’people. If you insist on doing it, you will learn more and more.

总体思路，还算可以，有一段，感觉不只所云， LZ的语法方面需要加强，特别是在句法上面。有的地方有两个谓语有的地方没有主语。

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chikako.k
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12楼

发表于 2010-8-24 20:32:58 |只看该作者

The 4th
（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.  
As the development of our society, the positions from various walks of life all need talents who command many abilities. Young people as the mainstay of our society, the choices they make for jobs are not only affect their personal burgeon, but also totally to paly a vital role in all the society’s speed of constructions. Some of them like to try several different jobs before they take a long term career, others prefer to be opposite. I definitely fall into the former that young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career.
To try different professions are more likely to help them find their strong point, from then on, they can find an appropriate jobs according to their behavior in all sorts of practicing. They can also utilize the advantage of changing jobs after working a few while which let them get new knowledge and improve themselves’qualities or abilities as for the favored base of taking long term career before long. We may take Chow Yun fat, an AZN Asian Excellence Awards winner from Hong Kong, as an illustration. He was born in a poor rural family and for earning his keep he did many different jobs such as waiter, postman and taxi driver. Fortunately, he found the most suitable job------be an actor at last so as to we could appreciate these wonderful roles played by him during these years. Hence we can conclude that different jobs give a person more than keeping on staying a position for long at first. They can let u easily to your success.
Furthermore, if they take different short-term jobs, they can even keep the enthusiasm and the novelty as to their jobs so that they can never feel tired of it. You know, the novelty is an essential factor to improve the efficiency of undertaking.
Comparatively speaking, when young people take over a long term job in the beginning. That will not make them a spurt of progress, in contrast，let them lightly lost themselves. As we all know, young people are mostly youthful and self-righteous. Originally they devote to the jobs with full enthusiasm, once they fail or make something wrong, they will lose their confidence because of they feel be defeated. On this occasion, to encourage them to try different jobs can help them step out of the failure’s shadow especially in this new surrounding. There is no doubt that to accumulate experience in different professions will be a precious fortune for young people.
Overall, I believe that young should try several different jobs before they take a long term career. That will more fit for their growth until one day they undertake the assignment of construction.

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13楼

发表于 2010-8-25 20:31:39 |只看该作者

改完了

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14楼

发表于 2010-8-25 21:22:19 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 jessica06444 于 2010-8-25 21:32 编辑

改好啦
楼主记得帮我改哈

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有同申药剂的么？？

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chikako.k
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15楼

发表于 2010-8-26 20:23:06 |只看该作者

THE 5TH 8.26
(09.02.21 NA) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Newspapers and magazines are the best ways to learn about a foreign country？
As the development and variety of our world, it provide us more chances to deeply get to know a foreign country which not only contain their culture, economy but also the politics. As we all know, a large number of approaches that we can utilize to learn about foreign countries. Most of them are secondhand such as the press, television, radio and even the internet. Of course，you know, you can also choose a directly visualized way to realize a foreign country, for example, the touring or the academic visiting. With so many abundant ways to achieve our intent, as to the limitation of newspapers and magazines, as far as I am concerned, to learn about a foreign country, newspapers and magazines are not the best way.
One of the primary reasons that publishing Industry come out the presswork that always through the compilation of journalists and editors. In this way, they are endowed personal or the media’s opinions which will have an effect on the tropism of public. Sometimes the politics of a country also interrupt the press in a certain extent. Therefore we are still the passive receiver who can easily understand a foreign country unfaithful.
In addition, newspapers and magazines as a print media can show people restricted information. Merely a few photos or passages are unable to present an integral looks. However, these dormant photos are one-sided sometimes. For an instance, we can’t because of the fascinating gulf they give with clear seawater，we say that this country is suit for relaxing and making holidays. Maybe in some corner it has been polluted that the press never tell us. They just want to change people’s impression about it. On the other hand, we still can’t con clue that a country is impecunious just because a passage which depict a severe drought at one time. Thus, on the account of the limitation of print media, newspapers and magazines are not the best ways to learn about a foreign country.
In contrast, many other alternative ways provide us more appropriately to help us get all-sided realization. We can take traveling abroad for example. I believe that is the most direct way to get to know a totally strange country. Via this way, you can appreciate the real scenery with light breeze and fresh air which only belong to this country. The local customs and feelings are also an essential standard to judge a country. All these vivid things you can’t acquire from the print media.
In summary, we can still get to know other countries via print media more or less which is an vital part of our life, but compared to other ways, newspapers and magazines are not the best way to learn about a foreign country.

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