[未归类] 9.24 ——菜鸟独立作文,daily writing真心求修改，求指导 [复制链接]

siguakiss
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-8-26 02:19:58 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 siguakiss 于 2011-8-26 02:34 编辑

求高人指点，我知道自己写的很烂，但就是不知道怎么去提高，很烦恼。希望有大牛能帮我找出问题，好让我了解我错在哪里PS:虽然加了daily writing 的群，说实话自己的水平真的不足以帮别人改作文，更怕误人子弟。所以希望有人在闲暇的时候帮我改下作文。每日一篇，感激不尽！

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siguakiss
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沙发

发表于 2011-8-26 02:23:38 |只看该作者

There is no denying the fact that for the time being a great deal of people, especially the people one who is graduated from high school just now, is more likely to attend college. Compare with working after graduated from high school, there is no doubt that study in college is a willing choice.
People choose to attend college always have a wealth of reason. Some of them believe that study in college is the best method to get more experience, extend knowledge and even guide you to see such a wonderful world. Moreover, people attend college is also an ideal way to make their dreams come true. As a Chinese old saying, study is the only way to the success. Whatever your dream or ideal is, success is the best ending for everyone. Thus, attend college, as a convenient method to the absorb knowledge, should be popular.
Second reason and even the most of people will take in account is that to make sure people will have a nice future or gain a stable job after graduated, attending college may help people to realize these reflections. As we known, many student graduated from university could not find a job either. Consequently, it is not easy to imagine how a people have only high school degree can find a job which job can support his life or survive in the drastic social competition. For example, my good friend Mike, twenty years old boy, who was my high school classmate, hated studying in the school. He got a job as soon as he graduated from high school, and at that time he was so happy that he could use money as he want since he had a job. Nevertheless, now he always quarrels with me about his job because of the money. As his salary could not pay for his rent yet he has to get three jobs one day. He tells me that if he can regard he will choose to study hard and attend college for deeply study. The experience of my classmate educates us that to promise us will have a better future, college study is a necessary. Therefore there are so many people will prefer to attend college.
All in all, people who want to attend college always have their intention such as improve their knowledge, realize their dreams, make sure their future lives or some reasons else. No matter what attitude they hold attending the college is becoming more and more essential. Maybe that could be the fundamentality reason why people attend college.

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