[a习作temp] Argument 79, “貌似”俩观点的那个，已自改，求拍。 [复制链接]

rippersean
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2012-6-5 22:38:56 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

79) Since those issues of Newsbeat magazine that featured political news on their front cover were the poorest-selling issues over the past three years, the publisher of Newsbeat has recommended that the magazine curtail its emphasis on politics to focus more exclusively on economics and personal finance. She points to a recent survey of readers of general interest magazines that indicates greater reader interest in economic issues than in political ones. Newsbeat's editor, however, opposes the proposed shift in editorial policy, pointing out that very few magazines offer extensive political coverage anymore.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

之前看到咖啡盐版主的这个帖子https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1295060&highlight=，于是想卡时间写一下这篇文章。写之前看了一下帖子说的是啥了，算是偷懒了吧，呵呵。。。已自改单词错误，请拍。
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As the argument above, the author recommended that the magazine curtails its emphasis on politics to focus more exclusively on economics and personal finance. It seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion that transferring from politics to economics is a boost in sell. However, close scrutiny of the argument reveals the recommendation may not obtain the predicted result, rife with holes of evidence.

First and foremost, the author needs to answer the question that whether the style of the magazine, not the quality of content or the selling price, is the only factor that leads to the poorest-selling situation. On one hand, in any kinds of magazines, people tend to read the ones which have high-quality context filled with ideas and thoughts that truly values. It works especially on politics as comments and critics on politics need further objective insight, but not acting as a toady for a party or a policy. On the other hand, selling price is another important factor that can determine whether people will buy them. If the magazines were too expensive to get equivalent messages and informations, no one would spend money on them.

In addition, the question has to be answered that whether the opinion of the readers who received the recent survey can represent that of all readers where this magazine can publish. Perhaps the survey was done in a magazine which focusses especially on economics and personal finance. In that case, most readers who take the survey are fans of economics and then, the result that indicates greater reader in economic issues than in political ones is lame.

What's more, the author needs to answer that whether only few people purchase the magazines on politics, which leads to unprofitableness, is the cause of the situation that very few magazines offer extensive political coverage anymore. The author did not show the evidence that low number of magazines is because no money can earn. However, several factors can cause this. For instance, topics on politics are hard to write well and only a few magazines can meet the highly demanding of huge quantity readers of politics, which results in the existing of few magazines that can offer extensive political coverage.

In sum, the author recommended to transfer magazine's focus from politics to economics and personal finance. Nevertheless, the statments not well reasoned for lack of strong support for what the author maintains. To make it logically acceptable, the questions above have to be answered to achieve a more sufficient conclusion. In addition, in order to solidify the argument, more evidence is required on curtailing its emphasis on politics which was its original sign of this magazine.

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panmingming2008
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沙发

发表于 2012-6-6 16:12:19 |只看该作者

OVERALL quality worths a 4 score.

YOU CAN REFER TO THE SCORING GUIDE in OFFICIAL GUIDE.

To reflect which characteristic you miss or meet, then revise, you will make progress.

问我，考我，检验我的话，以便改善你自己！

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

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板凳

发表于 2012-6-7 17:45:07 |只看该作者

我相当菜，本来是进来学习的。试着提几个小疑惑，提的不对还请见谅！

As the argument above, the author recommended that the magazine curtails its emphasis on politics to focus more exclusively on economics and personal finance. It seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion that transferring from politics to economics is a boost in sell. However, close scrutiny of the argument reveals the recommendation may not obtain the predicted result, rife with holes of evidence.

First and foremost, the author needs to answer the question that whether the style of the magazine, not the quality of content or the selling price, is the only factor that leads to the poorest-selling situation. On one hand, in any kinds of magazines, people tend to read the ones which have high-quality context filled with ideas and thoughts that truly values. It works especially on politics as comments and critics on politics need further objective insight, but not acting as a toady for a party or a policy. On the other hand, selling price is another important factor that can determine whether people will buy them. If the magazines were too expensive to get equivalent messages and informations, no one would spend money on them.（后面这一点，price影响销售。因为题目中说poorest-selling，即是说有政治封面的那几期是“这本”杂志销售最低的。既是同一本杂志，price的影响应该如何体现出来？也许有政治的这几期是特刊，所以比平时要贵？我觉得可以稍微体现一下。）

In addition, the question has to be answered that whether the opinion of the readers who received the recent survey can represent that of all readers where this magazine can publish. Perhaps the survey was done in a magazine which focusses especially on economics and personal finance. In that case, most readers who take the survey are fans of economics and then, the result that indicates greater reader in economic issues than in political ones is lame.

What's more, the author needs to answer that whether only few people purchase the magazines on politics, which leads to unprofitableness, is the cause of the situation that very few magazines offer extensive political coverage anymore. The author did not show the evidence that low number of magazines is because no money can earn（这句读着有点别扭）. However,（上句说，作者没能证明卖得少是因为赚钱少。这里讲可能有别的原因。不应该用强转折语气） several factors can cause this. For instance, topics on politics are hard to write well and only a few magazines can meet the highly demanding of huge quantity readers of politics, which results in the existing of few magazines that can offer extensive political coverage.

In sum, the author recommended to transfer magazine's focus from politics to economics and personal finance. Nevertheless, the statments not well reasoned for lack of strong support for what the author maintains. To make it logically acceptable, the questions above have to be answered to achieve a more sufficient conclusion. In addition, in order to solidify the argument, more evidence is required on curtailing its emphasis on politics which was its original sign of this magazine.

题目：Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.感觉回答如何用来评估建议体现的不够，每段后面提一下会不会更好呢？正文第一句既然提出了问题，后面可以对问题环绕更紧密一点。
另外，三段正文段的第一句都很长，有两句包括插入语，个人感觉有的放在后面更好一点，毕竟作为“作者需要回答的问题，除了文中的假设外而可能有的其他的回答”，值得单独拿出来说一说。
暂时想到这么多。说的不对的请见谅~