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xqmelissa
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-2-8 20:45:31 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue 1
We can usually learn much more from people whose views we share than from people whose views contradict our own; disagreement can cause stress and inhibit learning.

Some people have the idea that we could learn more from people who have the same point of view of us than from people who disagree with us. Because, they say, disagreement could bring on pressure and restrain the interest of study. It is true that improper dissension may prevent the interest of research. In my opinion, however, disagreement also could inspire the impetus of further research. So, I think, we could learn more from people whose views contrary to us.

Admittedly, we could learn knowledge from people whose views we share. People who have the same point of view always have the same way and the same angle of view to consider phenomena,. By discussion with those people, one could use others’ opinion for reference and deepen his own idea. There is one famous maxim which support this statement clearly said by Newton “If I have seen further than certain other men it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants”.

However, we could learn more from people whose views contradict our own. The ideas, sometimes the theories, existing in the world, are not the absolute truth, but the different points which are introduced by the different angle of view for the same thing. The reason why people have various standpoints is that the living condition they inhabited, the education they received, the experiences they suffered are diverse. Then the different point of views is come into being. From discussion with those people, one could receive wider field of vision, more methods of observing and thinking of one phenomenon, more angles of view than discussing with the people have the same opinion with us. It is common that people could find more comprehensive and profound conclusion through the discussion, and even could have a progressive meaning for the development of the society. The argument between the two schools of Cambridge, for instance, which was a famous debate in economics and happened in the 1950s, has a far-reaching and tremendous contribution to the development of the mainstream economics. This is a discussion about the theory of marginal production and distribution in microeconomics. This theory was approved by most economists before the argument, and even written as a rule in all books of microeconomics. But one school of Cambridge thought it had some errors and found some evidence to support their point. In the end, the theory was denied, and a new school-the new Keynesianism-as a more matured and systematic school, was born. The new Keynesianism, the bridge between microeconomics and macroeconomics, became the mainstream theory till now and promote the development of society.

It is a little harder or even bitter to rectify one’s own views or even accept the opposite views for us due to our own assertion is impaired by other’s challenge. But we could learn more from this process. The process of rectifying one’s own ideas or even accepting others’ ideas is anguishing, because it needs the courage to challenge self. People always want to win in the discussion. So during the argument, they will first analyses the opponent’s proof, then refer to some information, revise their own thinking regularly, and find more convincible evidences. This is a process of analyzing the existing problems, finding more evidences, and trying to find the way to settle problems. Truth always brings into being in this process.

On conclusion, although people could learn knowledge from people whose views we share and may develop the existing views from this approach, I still think people will learn more from people whose views contradict with us. Not only because points will be deepened from the discussion, but also because the more essential point could be found from the process of the argument. (619 words)

写提纲用了将近2个小时，写文章2个半小时
:mad:

爱情无需刻意去把握，越是想紧紧地抓牢自己的爱情，反而容易失去自我，失去原则，失去彼此之间本来应该保持的宽容和谅解，爱情也会因此而变的毫无美感。
每个人都希望自己拥有幸福美满的婚姻和爱情，但是爱是需要能力的，这个能力就是让你爱的人爱你。

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imong
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沙发

发表于 2004-2-11 13:13:11 |只看该作者

优点是各段论点比较准, 非常到位.

Some people have the idea that we could learn more from people who have the same point of view of us than from people who disagree with us. Because, they say, disagreement could bring on pressure and restrain the interest of study. It is true that improper dissension may prevent the interest of research. In my opinion, however, disagreement also could inspire the impetus of further research. So, I think, we could learn more from people whose views contrary to us.一堆短句。用词和搭配都一般，例如inspire the impetus这种恐怕要打pp。

Admittedly, we could learn knowledge from people whose views we share. People who have the same point of view always have the same way and the same angle of view to consider phenomena,. By discussion with those people, one could use others’ opinion for reference and deepen his own idea. There is one famous maxim which support this statement clearly said by Newton “If I have seen further than certain other men it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants”. Said by Newton “if … 表达方面还是看着不舒服。这个例子我感觉：跟we can learn knowledge 有关吗？或者你没说清楚。

However, we could learn more from people whose views contradict our own. 这个好，上面是learn .. to some extent. 然后变成more. The ideas, sometimes the theories, existing in the world, are not the absolute truth, but the different points which are introduced by the different angle of view for the same thing. The reason why people have various standpoints is that the living condition they inhabited, the education they received, the experiences they suffered are diverse. Then the different point of views is come into being. From discussion with those people, one could receive wider 这里这个wider就出来了，但是请问这句话前面TS后面的内容到底分析了没有为什么是more？因为中国建国300年，所以中国比日本强大？这种逻辑是错误的，或者是太过于跳跃的。field of vision, more methods of observing and thinking of one phenomenon, more angles of view than discussing with the people have the same opinion with us. It is common 应该是你去主动说明的怎么直接common了事了？绝对不可以it is common sense that 原题论点 is wrong/right. that people could find more comprehensive and profound conclusion through the discussion, and even could have a progressive meaning for the development of the society. The argument between the two schools of Cambridge, for instance, which was a famous debate in economics and happened in the 1950s, has a far-reaching and tremendous contribution to the development of the mainstream economics. This is a discussion about the theory of marginal production and distribution in microeconomics. This theory was approved by most economists before the argument, and even written as a rule in all books of microeconomics. But one school of Cambridge thought it had some errors and found some evidence to support their point. In the end, the theory was denied, and a new school-the new Keynesianism-as a more matured and systematic school, was born. The new Keynesianism, the bridge between microeconomics and macroeconomics, became the mainstream theory till now and promote the development of society. 这个例子应该尽量突出两点：LEARN和MORE.我2月8号的时候做过一个每日一评说了一下例子的事情，可以去找一下参考。

It is a little harder or even bitter to rectify one’s own views or even accept the opposite views for us due to our own assertion is impaired by other’s challenge. But we could learn more from this process. The process of rectifying one’s own ideas or even accepting others’ ideas is anguishing, because it needs the courage to challenge self. People always want to win in the discussion. So during the argument, they will first analyses the opponent’s proof, then refer to some information, revise their own thinking regularly, and find more convincible evidences. This is a process of analyzing the existing problems, finding more evidences, and trying to find the way to settle problems. Truth always brings into being in this process. 如果说这里是反驳原文最后一句（或者针对原文进行分析也可）是完全可以的，但是这里的内容上却基本跑题，中间至少是差了一两句话给交待回去。关于distress和disagreement的分析。而且三个段落的TS之间应该能联系起来。Body2和body3的写句子方面稍微好了一点。但是还不够。光是because，and，“简单句结构和简单从句结构使用的比较多，但是注意不要犯弱智错误。应该稍微多用一用插入语，分词引导从句，介词引导从句，比较，倒装，等等。前三个最重要。这样子sentence variety上面就多了一大块，现在这个样子不行。”还是这句话。

On conclusion, although people could learn knowledge from people whose views we share and may develop the existing views from this approach, I still think people will learn more from people whose views contradict with us. Not only because points will be deepened from the discussion, but also because the more essential point could be found from the process of the argument. (619 words)

从大纲方面来说至少是4分的水平，因为对题目的把握比较到位，可以说基本解析住了原题。但是在展开方面做得并不是很好。例子的选择，论证，还都需要提高。我觉得应该是3.5到4分的水平

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xqmelissa
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板凳

发表于 2004-2-11 14:23:35 |只看该作者

谢谢IMONG

看样子，除了语言，逻辑上面我还是要好好下下功夫啊

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bbnhn
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地板

发表于 2004-2-11 15:49:23 |只看该作者

写的很好，羡慕佩服
but the different points which are introduced by the different angle（s） of view（s） for the same thing.
Then the different point（s） of views is（are） come into being
这两句主谓，单复数好像有问题吧
one could receive wider field of vision, more methods of observing and thinking of（我斗胆认为应该是in） one phenomenon

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