[主题活动] 7月13日同主题练习 issue 15 [复制链接]

tesolchina
UID: 2191404

长老一袋

Rank: 8 Rank: 8

声望: 912
寄托币: 6214
注册时间: 2006-2-26
精华: 4
帖子: 2367

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2015-7-10 00:33:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 tesolchina 于 2015-7-10 07:37 编辑

Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

今天练习的要求是认真阅读我的范文及讲解，然后根据范文的思路、结构，尝试使用范文讲解中提到的技巧，限时写一篇全文。所有不是按照这个要求写的将会被忽视。

这道题属于“学校或老师应该如何”的类型，这类题目在84道issue题里占了12道，所以很重要。另外，写作要求包括 be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position，这类题目的写法也要注意。

I strongly disagree that students should be encouraged to choose their study areas for future lucrative careers for two reasons.  First, no studies in any given fields can guarantee the so-called lucrative careers in the future; moreover, students who choose the fields with the hope of lucrative careers may not enjoy their studies and their future works.  While the educational institutions may be interested in cultivating future successful alumni, this policy may lead to dissatisfaction among the graduates.

1. 为了节省时间，可以考虑开门见山的写法，不必在前面做铺垫，直接提出观点。
2. 这里用了一个简单的总分结构提出了两个反对的理由，而这两个理由将在中间段分别展开讨论。注意这里分号的使用，可以避免断句的问题。
3. 第一个理由其实针对的是题目中的一个暗含的假设就是学了某学科就一定有lucrative career 这里的思路是考虑一个建议是否可行就要检查其中暗含的假设 和argument的批判有想通的地方
4. 第二个理由是基于一个基本的教育理念就是学生最好对学的内容感兴趣。在处理这类应该如何的题目是往往涉及价值判断，我们就得拿出一些价值判断的依据，需要是一些公认的道理，比如这里关于兴趣的道理是大多数人都能接受的。
5. 最后要注意主旨句的最后一部分是为了满足题目关于challenge的要求，前面的while从句就是引出对方的挑战，而主句就是回应。今天参加的练习的同学建议按这个句型来写。

To begin with, there are no such majors that can ensure that the graduates will necessarily enjoy a lucrative career later in their lives.  To get a well-paid job and a successful career requires a combination of many things including a good degree with solid knowledge, a booming industry in which the graduate works, good interpersonal skills and a large amount of luck.  Maybe pursuing a major in certain fields such as computer science and finance can increase the chance of getting into a field where more people can have lucrative careers.  But the graduates also need many other things mentioned above to become successful.  In other words, the notion that certain fields of study can “prepare” students for lucrative careers is nothing but wishful thinking.

1. 主题句就是回应主旨句的第一部分。这是1+3模型的精华所在，保证全文是一个相互呼应的整体。这是对我们同意转换能力的考验，注意我前面用的词和这里用的词略有不同，句型也有变化。同意转换的重要性是无法被过分强调的。
2. 接下来是解释这个观点背后的理由，指出成功多金的事业是可遇不可求。这里其实也是用到了argument中的批判策略，提出其他的因素。当然要想到这一点也是需要一些阅历的，年轻人总觉得自己什么都可以做到，在现实中遇到挫折才会懂得有很多事并不是自己能控制的。
3. Maybe这一句是一个让步，这种让步其实是为了后面的but做铺垫。某些科目可以增加X的机会，但是...
4. But 这一句其实是复述第二句的内容。不要以为这是废话，其实这是增强文章的衔接和连贯的很重要的策略，就是把前说过的话再说一遍，而有了maybe的让步，这句话的意义就不一样了，起到强化观点的作用。
5. 最后in other words 其实也没有新的内容而是再强调主题句里的观点-题目中的假设是不靠谱的。

注意这段话的展开不是先提出例子然后解释例子，但是还是由提到一些具体的例子。

Another reason why this policy is not desirable is that students may end up studying something they are not interested in.  Without genuine interests in the field but driven by the extrinsic motivation from the promise of future “lucrative” careers, the students may find it difficult to understand the materials or commit themselves to the studies.  Their academic performance may not meet the standards expected by the future employers and, as a result, they may not get good jobs in the fields.  Even they do manage to start their careers in the fields, they may not enjoy their work and the lack of job satisfaction would render the “lucrative" careers less meaningful for the graduates.  Their chance for long-term success will also be very small.

1. 这里的another reason是呼应上一段的第一个reason，这样两段之间的过渡就比较自然。段落之间的过渡是非常重要的。
2. 这句话是对上句观点的展开解释这里without X, something bad will happen的句型套路是值得学习的可以用来强调X的重要性，又不用老用important这类词
3. 接下来是一个连锁反应，没有兴趣就学不好，学不好就找不到好工作，而好工作就回到了lucrative career这个关键词上了。这里要特别强调中间段要反复回应关键词，否则很容易偏题。
4. Even这句是讨论另一种情况，即使找到工作也未必有满足感，没有满足感就很难长久的成功  这里的论述策略还是通过推理指出从题干出发会得出大家都同意不好的结论 从而说明题干提出的应该如何是不好的

Some people may argue that by encouraging the students to choose majors that lead to lucrative careers the universities may cultivate future alumni with higher income, who will then donate more money to the institutions. With stronger financial support from the alumni, the schools will have more resources to improve their education and attract better faculty members and students.  What is overloooked in the reasoning is the possibility that students who cannot find lucrative careers after studying majors they were encouraged to choose or do not enjoy their careers due to the lack of interests may not be willing to donate any money to the schools.

1. 这里提出某个可能的挑战注意这里涉及到一个常识就是大学都希望校友能捐钱欧美大学都这样校友捐款被纳入计算排名的公式里  这属于干货  你想不出来也没关系可以用我的只要别照抄我的句子就行了
2.With stronger这一句是进一步指出校友捐赠的好处算是对对方挑战的解释
3. What is overloooked in the reasoning is the possibility that  这个句型其实可以学一下这里基本上就是用前面的观点来反驳

In conclusion, while it is understandable that educational institutions may want to encourage students to prepare for lucrative careers by choosing certain majors, this policy is not helpful for students as there are no majors that can guarantee lucrative careers in the future and students may end up with careers they do not enjoy if they follow the advice of the institutions rather than their hearts.

总结部分基本上就是复述前面的思路还是同意转换能力的考验

这道题其实没有分类讨论，而是从两个角度来讨论这样做的问题。

练习指引
1. 认真学习这篇范文，思考一下有哪些地方值得学习，哪些地方你觉得有疑问或者质疑。请在回帖讨论。
2. 结合对范文的学习重新自己构思，列提纲。原则上要求尽量按照范文的思路来写。尤其是初学者。
3. 计时写全文，要求在30分钟以内完成。不要给自己任何借口，如果30分钟写不完的话，就要考虑简化文章内容。
4. 将自己写的全文发到自己的练习帖上（示范），然后将具体楼层链接回复到这里。
5. 请讨论一下自己写作的过程和体会，尤其是从范文里学到什么技巧和思路。

对于在上一轮已经写过这篇全文的同学，建议你还是尝试按照范文的思路重新写一遍。尤其是我在讲评中提到的这些技巧，需要仔细揣摩。

主题