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[作文] 【综合作文】thankgod2016备战5月7日综合作业帖 [复制链接]

thankgod2016
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2016-3-26 10:07:11 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 thankgod2016 于 2016-5-4 15:35 编辑

这个贴写综合写作

综合写作的考试时间为20分钟，要求考生先花三分钟的时间在计算机屏幕上阅读一篇230~300词左右的文章，然后再听一篇时长约为两分钟的讲座录音，该讲座主要是驳斥阅读文章所陈述的主要观点。在听讲座录音时，阅读文章会隐去。该部分要求考生在阅读与听讲座录音的基础上写一篇150~225词的文章，对讲座录音的要点进行概述，并说明其主要论点与阅读文章中的观点是如何联系的。

推荐180~260w
一段开头三段论点不要结尾
重点放在听力的信息，尽量写全，逻辑要清晰，注意改写不要用听力和阅读的原话

语言炫酷不炫酷不是综合写作的考点，综合写作的考点是听力改写

另一个贴写独立写作
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1960363-1-1.html

看了若干经验贴以后自己总结了一下：
【阅读材料】
材料会复现（和听力、口语不同）
要点：
1）观点1
2）细节1
3）观点2
4）细节2
【听力材料】
要猛记笔记（和听力的做法不同），做到细听，精听，完全突破
要点：
1）观点（通常为反驳）
2）转述阅读的观点
3）反驳阅读的观点⭐
4）展开细节
【答题阶段】150~225w，可以超出字数
1）主旨句：听力反驳了阅读中的某一个观点
The professor disagree/refute that ...，because
2）承认部分阅读观点
Even though ... , jusk like that has described in the reading, it seems specious to the lecturer that ...
第一点第二点分别讲，做对比
3) 结论
In this situation, contrary to reading's concern, ...
Conclusion can be drawn that...
要点：
1）逻辑清晰最重要
2）紧抓听力材料，加以逻辑性复述，并明确指出听力与阅读材料的关系
3）切记写成summary，关键还在于理解其中的逻辑关系

相关帖子 Updated by 2025.04.29

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thankgod2016
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沙发

发表于 2016-3-26 11:35:36 |只看该作者

今天练习TPO1
【阅读材料】三分钟
In the United States, employees typically work five days a week for eight hours each day. However, many employees want to work a four-day week and are willing to accept less pay in order to do so. A mandatory policy requiring companies to offer their employees the option of working a four-day workweek for four-fifths (80 percent)of their normal pay would benefit the economy as a whole as well as the individual companies and the employees who decided to take the option.主旨句benefit三方面 The shortened workweek would increase company profits 理由一 because employees would feel more rested and alert, and as a result, they would make fewer costly errors in their work. Hiring more staff to ensure that the same amount of work would be accomplished would not result in additional payroll costs because four-day employees would only be paid 80 percent of the normal rate. In the end, companies would have fewer overworked and error-prone employees for the same money, which would increase company profits.理由一的总结 For the country as a whole, one of the primary benefits of offering this option to employees is that it would reduce unemployment rates.理由二 If many full-time employees started working fewer hours, some of their workload would have to be shifted to others. Thus, for every four employees who went on an 80 percent week, a new employee could be hired at the 80 percent rate. Finally, the option of a four-day workweek would be better for individual employees.理由三 Employees who could afford a lower salary in exchange for more free time couldimprove the quality of their lives by spending the extra time with their families, pursuing private interests, or enjoying leisure activities.

阅读材料阅读三分钟简单做笔记
work four-day a week benefit company country individual
1) increase company profit
worker ⬆rest and alert >>⬇costly error
hire more staff NOT ⬆cost
2)reduce unemployment rates
new worker be hired
3)improve the Q of life
more time for family lesure

【听力材料】做笔记

1) spend ⬆
traning,medical benefits
office space, computer
2)hire costly
no more hire
c.o. ask e.m. work overtime
⬆expectation 4d = 5 day
job>>unpleasant
3） risk Q ⬇
harm chance advance career
pass over promotion

要不要为了title换学校重新申加拿大学签？

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板凳

发表于 2016-3-26 14:36:39 |只看该作者

In the lecture, the speaker refutes the policy proposed in the reading material.
The reading material recommend the companies to provide a four-day workweek choices for their employees, asserting that it benefits the company, the employee, and the whole country. It seems specious for the lecture that such a policy can bring so many benefits.
Firstly, in the reading material, it says that the shorted week brings more profit to the company by letting the employees have enough rest so as to reduce costly errors, and hiring more staff to fit in the 20 percent time lifted by the shorted week employee won’t lead to more cost for the company, in the meanwhile ,by making the employees rest more ,they will make few errors that might bring lost for the company. However, the lecturer claims that hiring more staff to fill up the lefted working hours do cost the company a lot more, including training fees, healthy cost for the employees. And more employees means more office space and computer devices, that also costs a lot of money. After taking all this into account, that the company will benefit from the shorted week policy is not convincing any more.
In addition, as long as companies view hiring new staff as costly, they will not hire more people to make up for the work hour as is mentioned in the reading. The companies are more likely to work more time so that they won’t have to hire new ones, it’s easier for the companies to raise their expectations on the old staff rather than considering adding the staff number.That might lead to a more tensed job environment and more tiring working hours.
Finally, The reading material acclaims that more rest hours can increase the quality of their lives ,they can spend more time with their families. But there is a hidden risk that is not mentioned in the material, the shorted hour might do harm to the career of the employee, since the companies are more willing to have a manager who work for the entire week to make sure the consistency of their tasks.
In conclusion, as opposite to the reading ,the work for day a week policy will bring no benefits to the company nor the individual employee, let along the whole economy.
第一遍写了20分钟 386w超数字太多

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地板

发表于 2016-3-26 14:40:06 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 thankgod2016 于 2016-3-30 17:25 编辑

第二遍删掉重复的句子成分
还有280w
In the lecture, the speaker refutes the policy proposed in the reading.The reading recommend the companies to provide a four-day workweek choices for their employees, asserting that it benefits the company, the employee, and the whole country. It seems specious for the lecture that such a policy can bring so many benefits.
阅读的观点，理由，听力反驳。
Firstly, in the reading material, it asserts that the shorted week option will brings more profit to the company. Hiring more staff while paying the same salary allows employees rest more thus reduces costly errors. However, hiring more staff means more training fees, more healthy costs, let alone more office space and computers. The company has to pay more if the policy is applied.
听力反驳第一点，阅读怎么说，听力怎么说，总结
In addition, as long as companies view hiring new staff as costly, companies are more likely to push their employees to work for more hours on their working day,rather than hire new staff, that will end up with more tensed work environment instead of more employment in the whole society.
听力反驳第二点，阅读怎么说，听力怎么说，总结
Finally, The reading material acclaims that more rest hours for the employees can increase the quality of their lives, they can spend more time with their families. But the hidden risk is that the shorted workweek might do harm to their careers, since companies are more willing to have a manager who can work for the entire week to make sure the consistency of their jobs. Considering that, working four days a week might lower the quality of their lives.
听力反驳第三点，阅读怎么说，听力怎么说，总结
In conclusion, as opposite to the reading ,the four-day work week policy will bring no benefits to the company or the individual employee, let alone the whole economy.
重申结论

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5楼

发表于 2016-3-26 14:51:07 |只看该作者

是不是有一些文章的部件是不需要的呢？字数超了很多呀
找到一篇范文 256w
The lecturer claims that the new policy, which allows people to work four days a week instead of five, will have negative effects for companies as well as society. This claim is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that such a policy will be beneficial.比我写的简介多了。
According to the lecture, a company that allows employees to have fewer working hours is likely to hire more people to ensure that it meets normal levels of productivity. If this occurs, expenses for training and medical insurance will inevitably rise. The reading passage, by contrast, suggests that employees who enjoy more leisure time make fewer mistakes and work more efficiently, leading to increased profits for the enterprise.
反过来先说听力，再说阅读
The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage concerns the impact of the policy on the unemployment rate. The lecturer asserts that for the sake of saving money, employers might raise their expectations of 4-day employees rather than recruit more people.Consequently, employees who work 4 days will be forced to finish what they did in 5 days previously, and no additional jobs will be created.
一句话说分歧，后面重点说听力，半句说阅读
Finally, the lecturer argues that under the new policy, employees will experience not only decreased quality of life (as shorter working hours will translate into less pay), but also fewer chances to be promoted to supervisory positions. However, the reading passage contends that more leisure hours can create opportunities to strengthen family ties and allow employees to develop private interests, making them feel more satisfied with their lives.
先听力，后阅读，各一句
没有conclusion

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6楼

发表于 2016-3-26 14:53:12 |只看该作者

综合写作TPO1 总练习时间 1~2h

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7楼

发表于 2016-3-26 14:56:02 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 thankgod2016 于 2016-3-30 09:59 编辑

看了秋神的指导贴https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1389824-1-1.html
练习一下里面示范的TPO22
【范文】
The lecture focuses on convincing people that ethanol will become a good
alternative for gasoline in the future.
First, it seems specious to the lecturer that the increasing use of ethanol will add
to global warming. Though carbon dioxide will be released into the atmosphere
when we use ethanol as our fuel. In fact, we produce ethanol from plants, such
as corn. As a result, every plant we grow for ethanol absorbs carbon dioxide
from the atmosphere as part of its nutrition. That is to say, the growing of plants
counteracts the release of carbon dioxide.
In addition, we need never to worry about the reduce of animals' food due to the
use of ethanol. Based on research, it proves that ethanol is produced from one
part of a plant that is not eaten by animals. It is true that we have to produce
ethanol from plants, but only a specific part is required. Moreover, such a part of
plants will not be favored as food for animals. So conclusion can be drawn that
the number of animals' food will not be influenced by production of ethanol.
Finally, the professor argues that ethanol will have a good chance to compete
with fossil fuels on price in the near future. During this process, government
subsidy plays a significant role in making ethanol cheaper than usual. Besides,
as the market becomes more mature, more ethanol is bought and produced.
The increase of production will surely lead to a drop on price. According to some
calculation, once the production triples, the price of ethanol will decrease by 40
per cent. Ethanol seems promising in competing with fossil fuels since it will
become much cheaper in the future.
From the three points discussed by the professor, we could clearly learn that the
use and production will not add to global warming, reduce the food source of
animals, but can make ethanol such a prospective energy source. so ethanol will
become an excellent alternative for gasoline.
我写的19分钟160个字一开始是超，现在是写不够，o(╯□╰)o
The lecturer claimed that ethanol fuel can be a good alternative to gasoline, and the three reason mentioned in the reading material are not convincing at all.
Firstly, even thought burning ethanol do release carbon dioxide, but the plants that ethanol are made from actually absorbed a huge amount of carbon dioxide while their growth, which counteracts the amount ethanol released, thus using ethanol will add up the global warming process as the reading material asserted.
In addition, ethanols are produced by the cell wall of the plants, the part of the plants that are not eaten by the animals. In that case, the food source for animals will not decrease like what was described in the reading material.
Finally, if only there are enough people use ethanol as fuel in the future,the production of ethanol will be largely increased, which will lead to a huge drop down of the price,making the price of the ethanol competitive with the price of gasoline.

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8楼

发表于 2016-3-27 23:07:48 |只看该作者

:handshake 赞~

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9楼

发表于 2016-3-30 09:54:26 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 thankgod2016 于 2016-4-11 17:23 编辑

练习TPO21
要求是写150~225 最少
结果我只写了170多久没得写了，润色了一下249w
自我审查
0)细节覆盖
第一个 uniform 这个词没带到  第二个 by law 没带到第三点 protect from overexploit 没带到
1）词语多样性
genetically modified trees这个名词用太多次想不出怎么替换
例文用了 artificially improved seeds，genetically new strains，
2）句式多样性
还是有一些平凡的句子
3）语法错误，连接词重复使用or不搭配，复数
The lecture apparently disapproves what is argued in the reading material. According to the passage , planting genetically modified trees can bring tremendous benefits for severals reasons. However, the professor asserts that problems and costs of the plan have been ignored. He presented several reason.
Firstly, although genetically modified trees are designed to be more resistent than natural trees, it is not ensured. Moreover, due to the genetically diversity,  there will always be some individual trees that survive in a variety of disasters. In contrast, genetically modified trees might be wiped out if some particular kind of disaster has not been considered previously when they are designed.
In addition, purchasing the seeds of genetically modified trees from companies might cost the farmers a lot, 动词短语做主语which might even counteract the increased income brought by their optimized yields. What's more, the farmers have to pay for the seeds everytime instead of using the seeds grown by their trees for free.平凡的句子
Finally, the genetically modified trees might cost damage to local trees  and eventually kill them all.很平凡的句子 Local trees, failing to compete for the resources and nutritions, are facing a miserable future of extinction.插入定语从句
In conclusion, the professor defutes the plan of growing genetically modified trees as the benefits claimed in the reading message seems skepitical for him. The problems and costs, such as doubting surival rate, expensive seeds and hidden risk for killing nature trees, make the plan unpractical in his persective.

范文 220w
The lecturer points out three different shortcomings of genetically modified trees. In the aspects of adaptation, economic lucrativeness, and environmental value, they never have overwhelming advantage over natural trees. That means the points made in the reading are partial and biased.

First, genetic modification doesn’t necessarily make a natural tree more resistant to environmental adversities. Although genetic reconstructing may make a species stronger in a specific condition as the reading indicates, the new strain lacks the genetic diversity of a natural species. Thanks to the marginal differences between individuals, there can always be some survivors among natural species following a large interruption like climate change or pest invasion. But similar changes may cause the extinction of a genetically modified species for their unification in characteristics.

Second, tree farmers don’t get guaranteed economic benefits if they plant genetically new strains. Companies that develop the new plants always charge farmers higher prices for artificially improved seeds, and receive money from farmers each time they grow the same plant. Such company policies and law will deprive farmers of the gaining mentioned in the reading.

Third, genetically modified trees don’t promise to protect wild trees. Actually, since they can grow faster with fewer resources, they are more ecologically invasive. Normally they outcompete natural trees by grasping natural resources like sunshine, water and soil. It’s far from the idealistic situation described in the reading.
另一篇 230w
The reading and listening materials have a conflict of opinions about genetic modification. The writer believes that it is beneficial to the society， which is contradicted by the following lecture.
Firstly， the writer claims that genetically modified trees are more likely to survive since it is hardier than unmodified ones. However， the speaker casts doubt on this opinion by saying that natural trees tend to be genetically diverse， so there will always be some resistant kinds that get to survive when exposed to an environmental challenge. Genetically modified trees， on the other hand， are uniform in genes， which means they would all die if faced with a challenge that they are not designed for.
Secondly， the author argues that genetically modified trees are more profitable to farmers， while the lecture views this issue from an opposite angle. According to her，the seeds of modified trees cost a lot and by law， farmers have to pay the company every time they plant.
Thirdly， the passage states that genetically modified trees make it no longer necessary to overexploit wild trees. By contrast， in accordance with the professor， this claim does not hold water. It is because modified trees tend to grow more aggressively and would outcompete native trees for natural resources like sunlight， water and soil nutrition. As a result， modified trees would actually wipe out the native trees planted around them.

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10楼

发表于 2016-4-1 09:40:13 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 thankgod2016 于 2016-5-4 14:05 编辑

考前抱佛脚
TPO 34
The lecturer points out the inadequacies in the author's three different theories about why Steller's sea cow become extinct. He then presents several details to illustrate his statement.
To begin with, the writer might be right about the fact that native Siberian people kill sea cow for food, but he failed to take into account that the popularity of the native Siberian people is quite small. That is to say, the amount of sea cows they need to kill in order to feed themselves would be very small, impossible to cause extinction of sea cows, whose size is quite massive. Since one critical fact was ignored, the author's consideration is incomplete.
Moreover,the passage assumes that the reason why sea cows are extinct might be ecosystem disturbance that causes a large shortage of the sea cows's food supply - a type of sea plant called kelp, to be specific. Suppose, ecosystem disturbances did happen, the population of other mammals would decline as well. But it's confirmed by the fishing ships' observation that other mammals like whale didn't encounter such a population decline. Therefore , this assumption can not be merited by the above evidence.
Last but not least, by claiming that European fur traders might make the extinction happen, the author totally neglects the truth that the sea cow population has already dropped a lot before the traders enter the island. Given that, the author's plausible explaination turns out to be quite untenable.
In the light of the above, the professor provides a forceful rebuttal agains the author’s view by explicitly indicates why native Siberian people, ecosystem disturbances, or European fur hunters is are not the true factor that caused sea cows’ extinction. The truth is still to be uncovered.
考试的时候没写完
又花了两三个小时完成