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[优秀习作] Issue88 追星剑特训Chapter3.1交作业给imong [复制链接]

Dendis
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-7-24 17:17:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.

Issue 88

The place of technology in modern societies is a subject of continuing controversy. Key issues include the impact of technology on daily life as well as need to control the development and uses of technological innovations so that they benefit all sectors of society. Admit it or not, today's technologies play such an important role that they not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.

The chief reason for my agreement lies in the empirical proof: with technology advancement comes the change of our society. Technology has enhanced our efficiency as we go about our everyday lives. Advances in bio-technology can help cure and prevent diseases; advances in medical technology can allow for safer, less invasive diagnosis and treatment; advances in genetics can help prevent birth defects; advances in engineering can improve the structural integrity of our buildings, roads, bridges and vehicles; information technology makes us more efficient messengers while communication technology facilitates global participation in the democratic process. In short, we cannot emphasize the influence of technology in almost every field of our social lives too much.

Secondly, the obvious importance of technology to human cultural and social evolution has led us to view technology as a decisive factor of social change. From the Middle Age when Copernicus' heliocentric system precipitated an entire betray from the long held theologies to Renaissance during which the progress in science has brought about a break through in asceticism, all these aptly illustrate that technology is anything but an on-looker. In fact, this is far from the truth. The first industrial revolution resulted in the burgeoning of capitalism as well as the fundamental shift from feudalistic society into a capitalistic one. The second technology revolution led to a boom in economy while at the same time, made people aware of the first and foremost importance of knowledge power. The third tidal wave came at the 80s of the twentieth century, information era has guided us a bright future, bringing to us a novel working and living style, merging us in a pattern of fresh thoughts and ideas. It can be foreseen that new technology will come, will see, and will “conquer”.

Last but not least, there is no one but escape the dominance of technology. We live in a world guided by technique advancement; we behave in a way shaped by scientific development. For example, to the extent that people depend on cars as crutches, they actually contribute to the altercation of our mode of existence. And teenagers discover that owing a car, or even borrowing one on occasion, affords them a needed sense of independence from their parents. The same is true with mobile phone. Helping boost the mutual communication at one time, mobile phone has actually made ourselves trapped in a complex social net where we can no longer escape. What's more, advanced military technologies, facilitate the subjugation of an attacked nation’s territory on one hand and accelerate the ensuing reconstruction of its social patterns on another. It is with the help of high-tech weapons that assist the attacker to substitute the original customary principles or ethic laws of the vanquished states for a new system of social rules.

In sum, technology is more than tools and skills, technology change can occur in any or all of the social dimensions. For one thing, it is designed mainly for our human needs. For another, as far as the social impacts are concerned, shaping our thoughts and ideas gradually, technology has and will continue to make possible the revolution of customs and ethics.

这篇文章是以前写的，这次看见imong布置作业，就拿出来交一下，^_^
当时为了学习的目的，很多地方都是对于范文的模仿，观点方面可能也过于绝对，希望大家一概包涵

提纲如下：
b1：强调科技对于现代化的影响
b2：从历史长河中我们发现科技带来了社会观念，习俗的变化
b3：当今社会也无法逃脱科技的主导，人们自觉不自觉地受制于科技的力量。

If I'm who I am because I'm who I am and you're who you are because you are who you are, then I'm who I am and you're who you are.

If,on the other hand, I'm who I am because you're who you are, and if you are who you are because I'm who I am, then I'm not who I am and you're not who you are.

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imong
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沙发

发表于 2004-7-24 19:57:57 |只看该作者

issue88
Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.

The place（role？）of technology in modern societies is a subject of continuing（？） controversy. Key issues include the impact of technology on daily life as well as （缺the）need to control the development and uses of technological innovations so that they benefit all sectors of society.（并列成分用连词和逗号之类的把组织结构看得清楚些，而且include倒不如直接There be了..） Admit it or not, today's technologies play such an important role that they not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.（Okay, Very Clear）

The chief reason for my agreement（?） lies in the empirical proof（empirical proof?）: with technology advancement comes the change of our society. Technology has enhanced our efficiency as we go about our everyday lives. Advances in bio-technology can help cure and prevent diseases; advances in medical technology can allow for safer, less invasive diagnosis and treatment; advances in genetics can help prevent birth defects; advances in engineering can improve the structural integrity of our buildings, roads, bridges and vehicles; information technology makes us more efficient messengers while communication technology facilitates global participation in the democratic process. In short, we cannot emphasize the influence of technology in almost every field of our social lives too much.（最后一句是模仿一个经典的诡异英文句子，不过那个关键部分是TOO much吗？或者"too much"可以拆开放到最后边吗？）

（这里先提出点儿疑问：如果说首先提出上面提到的这些change，然后再来提出custom这个层面的话，这里的展开是firstly secondly还是further的关系？）

Secondly（其实一句话说来：是不是并列关系）, the obvious importance of technology to human cultural and social evolution has led us to view technology as a decisive factor of social change. From the Middle Age when Copernicus' heliocentric system precipitated an entire betray from the long held theologies to Renaissance during which the progress in science has brought about a break through in （in？）asceticism, all these aptly illustrate that technology is anything but an on-looker.（不错） In fact, this is far from the truth.（啊？变成假的了？） The first industrial revolution resulted in the burgeoning of capitalism as well as the fundamental shift from feudalistic society into a capitalistic one. The second technology revolution led to a boom in economy while at the same time, made people aware of the first and foremost importance of knowledge power. The third tidal wave（tidal wave？） came at the 80s of the twentieth century, information era has guided us a bright future, （黄金规则1）bringing to us a novel working and living style, merging us in a pattern of fresh thoughts and ideas. It can be foreseen that new technology will come, will see, and will “conquer”.（非常强的证明。疑问只有两点：开头的Secondly，还有中间的far from truth）

Last but not least, there is no one but escape（no one but escape？？） the dominance of technology. We live in a world guided by technique advancement; we behave in a way shaped by scientific development.（The way we behave is ... the world is .... 两套SV的时候你要强调的是the way is而不是we behave the way吧？） For example, to the extent that people depend on cars as crutches（表达上不是完全好。可考虑用dependence外加个nowadays，并且只有一个as恐怕还过不来）, they actually contribute to the altercation of our mode of existence. And teenagers discover that owing a car, or even borrowing one on occasion, affords them a needed（？） sense of independence from their parents. The same is true with mobile phone. Helping boost the mutual communication at one time, mobile phone has actually made ourselves trapped in a complex social net where we can no longer escape. What's more, advanced military technologies, facilitate the subjugation of an attacked nation’s territory on one hand and accelerate the ensuing reconstruction of its social patterns on another. It is with the help of high-tech weapons that assist the attacker to substitute the original customary principles or ethic laws of the vanquished states for a new system of social rules.

In sum, technology is more than tools and skills, technology change can occur in any or all of the social dimensions. For one thing, it is designed mainly for our human needs. For another, as far as the social impacts are concerned, shaping our thoughts and ideas gradually, technology has and will continue to make possible the revolution of customs and ethics.

（后两段实际上应该是基于b1事实的展开。几处关键字眼我觉得出现比较大的偏差，不应该。如果都改过来之后应当仍然是比较清新的一篇文章。对technology的入手相当深入，对custom and ethic相比而言其实写的偏简单，但在前面的强大气势下凭着对custom and ethic的默认概念进行回应原题，Response也做的相当有效的——如果不是几个比较大的存疑之笔的话。）

Rien de réel ne peut être menacé.
Rien d'irréel n'existe.

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needle
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板凳

发表于 2004-7-24 20:32:43 |只看该作者

占座！不过估计要明天才能看了。

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apolloxp
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地板

发表于 2004-7-24 21:25:48 |只看该作者

进来插上一脚研究研究

Life is full of drama.

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Dendis
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5楼

发表于 2004-7-25 11:42:48 |只看该作者

更正＋请教

In short, we cannot emphasize the influence of technology in almost every field of our social lives too much.
……cannot emphasize the influence of……too much.再怎么强调……的影响也不为过
there is no one but escape（no one but escape？？） the dominance of technology.写错了，新学的句型，意思完全相反，不好意思。应该用There is no one but under the dominance of technology.可能较好
There is no one but……没有人不……
In fact, this is far from the truth.这里想说事实远不至此，是一个递进，不知道怎么说了，请教一下，^_^
The third tidal wave更正是the third wave第三次浪潮
另外，imong说的黄金规则1是什么东西，不懂，望指正。
其他意见绝对切中要害，感谢imong。
Ps：身体没事了吧，看你前两天说元气大伤的，还担心着呢……大哥保重