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[i习作temp] issue 118 勤快的我的第三篇，关于过程和结果，行为类，请大家帮我改改啊！谢谢了！ [复制链接]

mist1941
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-12-9 17:35:35 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

n23. In any field of endeavor-the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, industry, etc.-it is not the attainment of a goal that matters, but rather
the ideas and discoveries that are encountered on the way to the goal.【
118】
在所有的人类努力的（行为）领域中--科学、人文科学、社会科学、工业等等--能否达到目的并不重
要，而在争取达到目的的过程中获得的想法和发现才更重要。(endeavor: activity directed toward a goal : enterprise)
过程和结果

Position: strongly agree. In the most of field in the sciences, the humanities, the social, the industry, etc. the more important value is the ideas and discoveries encountered on the way to the goal, not the goal-self.
1. The contention accords with our personal growing as human from early childhood through adulthood or from commons to elite.
2. The same principle also applies to a society level, as the history informed.
3. But, in some realms of human endeavor，such business and industry, goal is necessary for some people.

The speaker contends that the ideas and discoveries encountered on the way to the goal are more important than the goal-self, in all fields of endeavor-the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, the industry, etc. Admittedly, in some fields like business, goal is necessary to some people. I strongly agree with this contention, for the reason that, our human’s advancement is essentially a call for progress of practicing and learning from the past ideas and discoveries coming into being from the way to the goal.

To begin with, the contention accords with our personal growing experiences as human form early childhood through adulthood or from common to elite. Common sense tells us that, the only way to the success is a process of trial-and-error. For example, when the goal is come to grasp or master languages, the trial-and-error provides the key role for the goal, whether the language is first or second.

Human infants are born “universal linguists,” able to distinguish among all the sounds used in all the world’s languages. According to a new study, by the age of six months babies become specialists in the sounds of their native tongue. But, the language acquisition is a complex and hard process, even human have innate characteristic that predispose to learn language. We try our best to remember and understand whatever language information showed around us, and recollect and practice it with trial and error. The new ideas and discoveries are accumulated, and we mastered the language. Multilingualism is a significant ability for this competitive society. The ideas and discoveries provide great help to master the second language or the third. Two interesting things are that the goal of mastering the first language always never attain, and the second language learners often achieve lower levels of competence in that language. The endeavor’s reward is just these ideas and discoveries which help us communicate with others.

The same principle also applies to a society level, as the history informed. For instance, on scientific studies, supporting evidence is much more satisfying to report than are discredited hypotheses, but in fact, the detection of errors is more likely to be useful that is the establishment of probable truth. In most time, the goal of scientific plan is just some endeavors for new discoveries and ideas in the certain field. One example is about DNA. The chemical DNA was first discovered in 1869, but its key role in genetic inheritance was not demonstrated until 1943. The goal of chemical plan in 1869 maybe ignored, but the discovery was significant for the following research.

But, in some realms of human endeavor，such business and industry, goal is necessary for some people. Let us take a look at National Basketball Association (NBA). If Yao Ming from Houston Rockets made his mind to lead his teammates play in playoffs, he must attain it. For the reason that, it is more than a personal goal, it is a mercantile goal. If Yao lost it, maybe he will lost everything-job, contract, money, reputation, etc.

In sum, the speaker correctly asserts that it is through endeavors that ideas and discoveries are made. Indeed, our personal growth as individuals, as well as advances in science and social depends on these ideas and discoveries. But, we cannot overlook that goal is a purpose or objective toward which an endeavor is directed.

人生犹如钟摆，在痛苦和无聊之间摆来摆去。......自人们把一切痛苦和折磨变成地狱的概念之后，留给天堂的就只有无聊了。

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mist1941
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沙发

发表于 2004-12-9 19:03:14 |只看该作者

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人生犹如钟摆，在痛苦和无聊之间摆来摆去。......自人们把一切痛苦和折磨变成地狱的概念之后，留给天堂的就只有无聊了。

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mist1941
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板凳

发表于 2004-12-10 17:01:14 |只看该作者

请大家帮帮忙啊，我25号就考试了。谢谢了！

人生犹如钟摆，在痛苦和无聊之间摆来摆去。......自人们把一切痛苦和折磨变成地狱的概念之后，留给天堂的就只有无聊了。

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zjuyang
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地板

发表于 2004-12-12 01:22:50 |只看该作者

The speaker contends that the ideas and discoveries encountered on the way to the goal are more important than the goal-self<goal itself>, in all fields of endeavor-the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, the industry, etc. Admittedly, in some fields like business, goal is necessary to some people. <最好加转折词>I strongly agree with this contention, for the reason that, our human’s advancement is essentially a call for <calls for>progress of practicing and learning from the past ideas and discoveries coming into being from the way to the goal.

To begin with, the contention accords with our personal growing experiences as human form <from>early childhood through adulthood or from <the>common<是adj> to elite. Common sense tells us that, the only way to the success is a process of trial-and-error. For example, when the goal is come <is>to grasp or master languages, the trial-and-error provides the key role for the goal<playing a key role in pursuing the goal>, whether the language is first or second.

Human infants are born “universal linguists,” able to distinguish among all the sounds used in all the world’s languages. According to a new study, by the age of six months babies become specialists in the sounds of their native tongue. But, the language acquisition is a complex and hard process, even human have innate characteristic that predispose to learn language. We try our best to remember and understand whatever language information showed around us, and recollect and practice it with trial and error. The new ideas and discoveries are accumulated, and we mastered the language. Multilingualism is a significant ability for this competitive society. The ideas and discoveries provide great help to master the second language or the third. Two interesting things are that the goal of mastering the first language always never attain<be attained>, and the second language learners often achieve lower levels of competence in that language. The endeavor’s reward is just these ideas and discoveries which help us communicate with others.<感觉and的并列句用的太多了,可以适当注意句式的变化>

The same principle also applies to a society level, as the history informed. For instance, on scientific studies, supporting evidence is much more satisfying to report than are discredited hypotheses, but in fact, the detection of errors is more likely to be useful that is the establishment of probable truth<is likely more useful that the es...>. In most time, the goal of scientific plan is just some endeavors for new discoveries and ideas in the certain field. One example is about DNA. The chemical DNA was first discovered in 1869, but its key role in genetic inheritance was not demonstrated until 1943. The goal of chemical plan in 1869 may be ignored, but the discovery was significant for the following research. <这个例子还可以说得更充分些,有点看不明白>

But, in some realms of human endeavor，such business and industry, goal is necessary for some people. Let us take a look at National Basketball Association (NBA). If Yao Ming from Houston Rockets <都是姚迷，老乡吗^_^>made his mind to lead his teammates play in playoffs, he must attain it. For the reason that, it is more than a personal goal, it is a mercantile goal. If Yao lost it, maybe he will lost everything-job, contract, money, reputation, etc. <这几句感觉语态混淆了,而且你是要举business and industry的例子，这里是sports.例子也太绝对了，缺乏说服力>

In sum, the speaker correctly asserts that it is through endeavors that ideas and discoveries are made. Indeed, our personal growth as individuals, as well as advances in science and social depends on these ideas and discoveries. But, we cannot overlook that goal is a purpose or objective toward which an endeavor is directed.

个人意见，还可以一起讨论
时间太晚了，就改到这了.
我30号考，也在上海，大家一起共勉吧

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mist1941
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5楼

发表于 2004-12-12 21:45:34 |只看该作者

Thank you very much . 我27号上海，自己忘了日期了！常联系哦！

人生犹如钟摆，在痛苦和无聊之间摆来摆去。......自人们把一切痛苦和折磨变成地狱的概念之后，留给天堂的就只有无聊了。

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6楼

发表于 2004-12-14 00:19:13 |只看该作者

3. In any field of endeavor-the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, industry, etc.-it is not the attainment of a goal that matters, but rather
the ideas and discoveries that are encountered on the way to the goal.【
118】
在所有的人类努力的（行为）领域中--科学、人文科学、社会科学、工业等等--能否达到目的并不重
要，而在争取达到目的的过程中获得的想法和发现才更重要。(endeavor: activity directed toward a goal : enterprise)
过程和结果

Position: strongly agree. In the most of field in the sciences, the humanities, the social, the industry, etc. the more important value is the ideas and discoveries encountered on the way to the goal, not the goal-self.
1. The contention accords with our personal growing as human from early childhood through adulthood or from commons to elite.
2. The same principle also applies to a society level, as the history informed.
3. But, in some realms of human endeavor，such business and industry, goal is necessary for some people.

The speaker contends that the ideas and discoveries encountered on the way to the goal are more important than the goal-self, in all fields of endeavor-the sciences, the humanities, the social sciences, the industry, etc. Admittedly, in some fields like business, goal is necessary to some people. I strongly agree with this contention, for the reason that, our human’s advancement is essentially a call for progress of practicing and learning from the past ideas and discoveries coming into being from the way to the goal.

To begin with, the contention accords with our personal growing experiences as human form early childhood through adulthood or from common to elite. Common sense tells us that, the only way to the success is a process of trial-and-error. For example, when the goal is come to grasp or master languages, the trial-and-error provides the key role for the goal, whether the language is first or second.看不出跟题目什么关系，trial-and-error的例子并没有突出过程中的idea和discovery

Human infants are born “universal linguists,” able to distinguish among all the sounds used in all the world’s languages. According to a new study, by the age of six months babies become specialists in the sounds of their native tongue. But, the language acquisition is a complex and hard process, even human have innate characteristic that predispose to learn language. We try our best to remember and understand whatever language information showed around us, and recollect and practice it with trial and error. The new ideas and discoveries are accumulated, and we mastered the language. Multilingualism is a significant ability for this competitive society. The ideas and discoveries provide great help to master the second language or the third. Two interesting things are that the goal of mastering the first language always never attain, and the second language learners often achieve lower levels of competence in that language. 这句不知道你想说明什么The endeavor’s reward is just these ideas and discoveries which help us communicate with others.学习语言，你能说目的不重要吗？

The same principle also applies to a society level, as the history informed. For instance, on scientific studies, supporting evidence is much more satisfying to report than are discredited hypotheses, but in fact, the detection of errors is more likely to be useful that is the establishment of probable truth. 有语法错误In most time, the goal of scientific plan is just some endeavors for new discoveries and ideas in the certain field. One example is about DNA. The chemical DNA was first discovered in 1869, but its key role in genetic inheritance was not demonstrated until 1943. The goal of chemical plan in 1869 maybe ignored, but the discovery was significant for the following research. 例子不合适，这段前几句也表述得不很清楚

But, in some realms of human endeavor，such business and industry, goal is necessary for some people. Let us take a look at National Basketball Association (NBA). If Yao Ming from Houston Rockets made his mind to lead his teammates play in playoffs, he must attain it. For the reason that, it is more than a personal goal, it is a mercantile goal. If Yao lost it, maybe he will lost everything-job, contract, money, reputation, etc. 例子不错，但是说这是个mercantile goal不合适吧，那至少也是姚明实现个人价值的途径

In sum, the speaker correctly asserts that it is through endeavors that ideas and discoveries are made. Indeed, our personal growth as individuals, as well as advances in science and social depends on these ideas and discoveries. But, we cannot overlook that goal is a purpose or objective toward which an endeavor is directed.

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