[技术思考] 我对argument一些想法 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-4-4 02:33:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

我对argument一点看法

对于argument如何深入论证，imong三部曲和iq28的大作都已经写的很明白了。
一篇好的argument至少要有详细的反例和具体的细节。

但是，如何把这些反例组织成一段，如何让这些反例更好的为ts服务，也不是一件简单的事情
考aw时，看了不少argument文章，很多文章都存在相同的问题
1.Ts得写法太正确
2.论证内容偏离ts
3.段内论证没有逻辑

下面我们来具体看看这些错误

1．Ts的写法：
先看看个反面教材
1ts只是简单的重复论据
topic
Two years ago our neighboring state, Lucria, began a state lottery to supplement tax revenues for education and public health. Today, Lucria spends more per pupil than we do, and Lucria's public health program treats far more people than our state's program does. If we were to establish a state lottery like the one in Lucria, the profits could be used to improve our educational system and public health program. The new lottery would doubtless be successful, because a survey conducted in our capital city concludes that citizens of Impecunia already spend an average of $50 per person per year on gambling."

Body1：First of all, the author claims that the aim of establishing the state lottery is to improve the education and public health.
Ts仅仅说建立lottery的目的是improve education and public health，那到底要攻击那一点呢？
是lottery的目的不是improve这些东西？
还是lottery不能improve这些东西？
读这样的ts，会让人感觉很累，因为要预测后文，而这是考场上的大忌。
这样的错误在很多人的argument中都常见：ts简单的复述一下论据有的就原封不动的照抄一下，而不是指出到底错误在哪里。
Ts是给评卷者的第一印象，一定要开门见山的点明错误，这样比较符合西方人的习惯。我们没有必要一定要让读者读到最后才有一种恍然大悟的感觉，。毕竟，我们写的是说明性说理性文章，而不是悬疑小说。

2还有一些文章喜欢把ts写得超长，一个ts就写个50+的词。
Exmple
Topic "Commuters are complaining that the rush hour traffic on Blue Highway between Shady Village and Bright City has doubled their commuting time. Some commuters have asked that an additional traffic lane be built, but the recent creation of such a lane on nearby Green Highway apparently attracted more commuters, judging from the fact that rush-hour traffic jams actually increased there this past winter. To reduce rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway, a bicycle lane should be added instead of a traffic lane. This approach will succeed because many citizens of Shady Village are avid bicyclists; 75 percent of respondents to a recent questionnaire distributed there said they would like to bicycle more hours per week than they currently do."

Body1：To begin with, the arguer makes his judgment that bicycle lane is superior to traffic lane basing on the assumption that more people will favored bicycle to commute thus it can reduce rush-hour traffic on Blue highway, then lead to decrease the doubled commuting time, however, it is not warranted….
这么长的ts让人读得狂累狂累得，怎么看论证部分。。。

再来看看ets 6分范文的ts
topic:
Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour.  Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent.  But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period.  Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.

Body1: However, the citizens of Forestville are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the increasing car accidents after the raise in speed limit. 23词
简单明了，点明错误是没有考虑到其他可能性，一看就知道作者要列举他因。

Body2: A six-month period is not a particularly long time frame for the citizens to determine that speed limit has influenced the number of automobile accidents in the area. 28词
再次简单明了的指出攻击点是六个月的时间

经过总结，我发现了官方的范文一般TS不超过２5词，最多有少数会写到30词，一般会直接说明本段要批驳的问题，或者指出问题的所在。并且范文中很多错误都是argument中很常见的错误，把这些ts改成自己的写法，就可以做到为我所用。

2．段内论证部分
1论证不能围绕ts展开
同样，先分析一个反面教材
Topic
"At present, Mason City residents seldom use the nearby Mason River for any kind of recreational activity, even though surveys of the region's residents consistently rank water sports (swimming, fishing, and boating) as a favorite form of recreation. Since there have been complaints about the quality of the water in the river, residents must be avoiding the river because they think that it is not clean enough. But that situation is about to change: the agency responsible for rivers in our region has announced plans to clean up Mason River. Therefore, recreational use of the river is likely to increase, so the Mason City council will need to increase its budget for improvements to the publicly owned lands along the Mason River."

Body1： To begin with, the survey fails to prove its representativeness. We do not know how many residents are included in this survey. If only a few residents respond to this survey, then the result may only restricted to these few. Besides, no details about characteristics of these respondents are provided such as their age, occupation and the like, which can affect the result of the survey. For instance, if most of the respondents are students who are learning to swim, they may be more likely to do some water sports than the average and rank them as the favorite recreation. Furthermore, even the respondents indicate that they favor water sports more than other recreational activities, it does not mean that they will necessarily do water sports in their spare times. Maybe they are more engaged in other social activities such as parties. In this case, the author can not guarantee that there will be many people using the river to do water sports.

粗读这一段，或许觉得作者分析得很合理，段内有让步：先说survey的没有代表性，让后让步，攻击居民不一定会进行水上运动。逻辑貌似挺清楚
再仔细看看，问题就出来了。Ts明明写的是To begin with, the survey fails to prove its representativeness. 可写到一半，居然写到和ts中的survey完全无关另外一个层次了。

举这个例子，只想说明在段内论证时一定要时时刻刻记住自己的ts是什么，要攻击的是什么，不要一让步，一递进，就不知道扯到哪里去了。

实际上这种问题是很好避免的，有时候只要将ts稍作修改就可以将两个层次包含起来。例如，上面这个例子的ts就可以改成：The result of the survey is little indication that people favor water sports more than other recreational activities. 这样接下来的攻击就是围绕着ts展开了。

2段内举例无逻辑
很多argument的一段内只是实例的堆砌，例子与例子之间缺乏有效的连接，并且不能指出举的反例究竟想从哪方面说明问题。
说的比较晦涩，看个范文大家就应该明白了

topic:
Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour.  Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent.  But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period.  Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.

范文一段
However, the citizens of Forestville are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the increasing car accidents after the raise in speed limit. Such alternatives may include the fact that there are less reliable cars traveling the roads in Forestville, or that the age bracket of those in Elmsford may be more conducive to driving safely. It is possible that there are more younger, inexperienced, or more elderly, unsafe drivers in Forestville than there are in Elmsford.  In addition, the citizens have failed to consider the geographical and physical terrain of the two different areas. Perhaps Forestville's highway is in an area of more dangerous curves, sharp turns, or has many intersections or merging points where accidents are more likely to occur.  It appears reasonable, therefore, for the citizens to focus on these trouble spots than to reduce the speed in the entire area.  Elmsford may be an area of easier driving conditions where accidents are less likely to occur regardless of the speed limit.

同样的反例有些人也许就会写出下面的一段话
However, the citizens of Forestville are failing to consider other possible alternatives to the increasing car accidents after the raise in speed limit. Perhaps there are less reliable cars traveling the roads in Forestville. Perhaps there are more younger, inexperienced, or more elderly, unsafe drivers in Forestville than there are in Elmsford. Or perhaps Forestville's highway is in an area of more dangerous curves, sharp turns, or has many intersections or merging points where accidents are more likely to occur. Without ruling out….., the author….

看看我去掉的那些句子吧
Such alternatives may include the fact that
与ts完美衔接，做到逻辑连贯
the age bracket of those in Elmsford may be more conducive to driving safely
总领句，指出举例要攻击的方面：age bracket.
In addition, the citizens have failed to consider the geographical and physical terrain of the two different areas.
又是一句总领句：指出另外一层攻击点：geographical and physical terrain.

这下大家明白了举反例不是简简单单一句Perhaps， or perhaps 就可以完事了的。反例前最好有一句总领句指出到底准备攻击什么方面，然后再详细展开，否则直接给出细节会让人觉得太突然了。
这个实现起来的确很简单，不就是用个词组把后面的细节归纳一下嘛。

个人观点，仅供参考

[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-4-4 02:43 编辑 ]

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