[a习作temp] argument76 必回拍。。口碑甚佳！！ [复制链接]

vprzhs
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发表于 2005-7-31 02:26:05 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument76  第13篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户    共用时间：30分0秒    314 words
从2005年6月31日1时56分到2005年6月31日2时30分
------题目------
The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.
'A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin.'
------正文------
Before we believe that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin, the evidence given in the argument should be examined from several angles. The arguer must have to provide more information regarding the real effect of Luxess, and he also show us more details about the study.

To begin with, the result of the study upon the argument relies is too vague to be informative. On the one hand, we are not told the number of those volunteers sampled  for this study. On the other hand, the arguer also ignores the age range of those volunteers. There is chance that  Luxess is truly effective to only a few kind of person.

Moreover, the arguer unfairly assumes that the feeling is alway true. Most people said that they felt their skin looked better, it did not follow that their face condition was actually better than the past. Perhaps they might have a wrong feeling.

Last but not least, the arguer commits a obvious fallacy. It is true that most of consumers reported a marked improvement of their skin after having used Luxess, it does not follow that the improvement dues to Luxess. The arguer must have to take other factors into account. For one thing, we about that such volunteers might apply other kinds of face cream when they  participated in the study. And it is very likely that other kinds of face cream lead to the improvement. For another thing, there is no evidence indicates that the mild soap could not improve the skin of such persons. There is good chance that mild soap is the real cause of the improvement because of the special characteristics of their skin.

To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To justify the assertion, the arguer must have to ruling out other possibilities which may weaken the conclusion.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-31 at 18:58 ]

05.10.22 。。。。
～～广外～～

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yuchen
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沙发

发表于 2005-7-31 15:45:25 |只看该作者

拍

Before we believe that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin, the evidence given in the argument should be examined from several angles. The arguer must have to provide more information regarding the real effect of Luxess, and he also show us more details about the study.

To begin with, the result of the study upon the argument relies is too vague to be informative. On the one hand, we are not told the number of those volunteers sampled for this study. On the other hand, the arguer also ignores the age range of those volunteers. There is [a]chance that Luxess is truly effective to only a few kind of person.
这段所说的几个方面都可以展开呀，至少用perhaps各说上一句嘛！

Moreover, the arguer unfairly assumes that the feeling is alway true. Most people said that they felt their skin looked better, it did not follow that their face condition was actually better than the past. Perhaps they might have a wrong feeling.
这段也再多说上几句，比如说作者还应提供对志愿者皮肤的科学分析结果。

Last but not least, the arguer commits a obvious fallacy. It is true that most of consumers reported a marked improvement of their skin after having used Luxess,[however] it does not follow that the improvement dues to Luxess. The arguer must have to take other factors into account. For one thing, we about that? such volunteers might apply other kinds of face cream when they participated in the study. And it is very likely that other kinds of face cream lead to the improvement. For another thing, there is no evidence indicates that the mild soap could not improve the skin of such persons. There is good chance that mild soap is the real cause of the improvement because of the special characteristics of their skin.

To sum up, the conclusion reached in the argument is invalid and misleading. To justify the assertion, the arguer must have to ruling out other possibilities which may weaken the conclusion.
总结：逻辑语言都不错，就是好像由于限时，第二第三段没展开，结尾也没提出意见。我限时也写不好，咱们考试日期相近，一起加油吧!
我的argument欢迎拍砖！！！
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... type%26typeid%3D102

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.

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