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With the development of technology, there are a lot of technological innovations available in our life, such as the video camera that can provide accurate and convincing record of our life. (可以开门见山吧前半句铺垫删掉)However, in my opinion, I do not fully agree that the video camera has become a more important form of documentation than written records.(为什么不是fully最好能在这儿就点一下)
First of all, the stuff(这个词用得准么,不知道,要是准的话还烦请发一个信息,我也学一下) that a video camera can record is limited in many ways. The camera cannot screen abstract events. It can only record the solid(也拿不准visible不行么) events. For example, in a company, if the manager wants to know the situation of management, it is not possible(用否定前缀) for him to learn the information by a video camera. Because how a company is managed is usually reflected by a demographic(??) form and data, which is too abstract for a video camera to present and can only be recorded by written materials. Moreover, when concerning(comes to) a person's thought, the video camera also(written materials pales。。。) cannot provide a accurate record how one consider. For instance, for a writer, he may collect the materials about his book by a video camera. Nevertheless, when he want to express his ideas and thoughts, he can only write them down, which means the video camera cannot record his spirit world correctly(at all). Thus, the records provided by video camera is not always accurate and convincing, in fact(改成for) they are limited in many situations.
Furthermore, how to record the stuff by a video camera is usually dominated by the cameraman, which may not be suitable for the others and the use of a video camera is limited(subject) to objective conditions. Everybody has different ways of thinking.(这样的短句最好变成插入语成分或者同位于加到后面的主句里去) The records different cameramen screen by a video camera may reflect their ways of expression, which may not fully understand by other people. For example, the records provided by video camera are just like the television programmes, which are edited and produced by the staff to meet their needs in the television station. In this case, people may not gain all the information of a particular event. In addition, the video camera is limited to objective conditions. In order to make a video camera work, it needs the electricity(被动语态或者necessary). In this situation, if battery is low in electricity, the cameraman is not able to record the event in time. Also during the screening, the video camera needs plenty of light, which means it cannot provide accurate records in the dark. Therefore, the video camera may not provide accurate and convincing records for different people's needs and it is limited to objective conditions.(感觉这一段的反驳有一定的缺陷,原题的关键词是than,video的limitation在多也不能说明不如written materials,要有比较才好)
Admittedly, in some cases the video camera can present more accurate and convincing record for us. The most fundamental advantage of video camera is that it can provide us live and vivid record, which helps us to understand and enjoy a particular event. Additionally, concerning some temporal(合适么,是不是historical) and special events, the video camera has more advantages, such the happiness of a couple during a wedding, the goal shoot of a soccer player, the sudden damage of an earthquake, and so forth. All these temporal events can hardly be present vividly by written records. Hence, the video camera has its unique advantages in some situations.(把让步写在后面的段落,我以前也听人推荐过这种写法,但是考虑到280和gre阅读都与此顺序不同,所以从没采用,请楼主自己斟酌)
To sum up, the video camera and the records screened by it is limited in many ways, which can be achieved by written records. In this way the video camera can not become a more important form of documentation than written records. In fact, it can help people to understand teh expression of written records by a vivid and live video.
总体不错,关键是body2有待斟酌 |
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