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[i习作temp] issue153 机警加高频！ [复制链接]

abigred
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2005-8-4 21:31:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

时间有点赶，写得不大顺畅，anyway,让大家拍砖吧，自己也修改了一下

------题目------
Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.
------正文------
Some people, especially the old, are lamenting that the students of today are so encouraged to be skeptical that might bring them to be cynical, and thus do harm to the society. Although I agree that going to extremes will have adverse effect on the society, I do not think it is negative for the students to question and criticize, if they are under proper encouragement.

First of all, the youth are just like the early morning sun----they are energetic and creative, and they keep high enthusiasm towards everything. If we encourage them to observe the world with skeptical eyes, we will reap the rich fruition in the form of invention and discoveries in the future. To be skeptical is an effective way to form original and creative thoughts. Many great thinkers, Aristotle for instance, always keep skeptical towards what he learned. Although his teacher Plato, also the greatest thinker at that time, was famous and honored by the public, Aristotle just refused to share the totally same belief with his teacher, instead he established his own theory. What is interesting is that Plato and Aristotle had distinguished opinions over several things; their theories are both respected by people even now. We can not imagine what a pity it would be if Aristotle just fellow his teacher's foot prints, and had no original thoughts at all. Referring to the goal of education, we do not just pour the information to the students, but also equip them with critical thinking and skepticism. More vividly, skepticism is like the compass, with which the students would not sail aimless in the sea of knowledge.

Furthermore, the characteristic of knowledge requires the students to be skeptical, and in this way, students can impel the development of the society. No theory is perfect and needs no revision. Even the scientific grant, Newton, is no exception. The laws of Newton were proved to be unperfected when Einstein's relativism was born. So it is with many theories and inventions. If students are required to accept all the theories passively, or just by rigid remembrance, there would be any further development in technology and the whole society. Take the theory about the nature of light for example. At that time, whether the nature of light is particle or wave is in heated discussion. However, many people just fellow Newton's belief---light is particle without doubt. Not until Thomas Young's experiment would people understood the truth. This example is used to point to passive acceptance on knowledge is harmful, and it will undoubtedly impede the march of science.

Admittedly, we should to take this statement too far. Students of skepticism does not merely mean question and criticize without thinking of the solution. People always cites Descartes’ saying,” I think, therefore I am", as an excuse to be cynical. However, Descartes was strongly against those who just criticized and did nothing to search for solution. So at the same time, students should be encouraged to think of the solution and innovation as well as being skeptical. And moreover, if students are mislead to criticize or refuse everything, no matter it is reasonable or not, our society will be at great chaos. Like they disobey the laws or ethics in the name of skepticism. Luckily, also through education, we can lead students to make stride on the right way.

To sum up, students with skeptical eyes can contribute to the society with their great energy and creativity. On the contrary, without skepticism, they would be blinded by the existed knowledge, and then our society will be not as flourishing as it is now.

要做个透明的玻璃娃娃，哪怕被人伤害，也要晶莹透彻

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vieriping
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-4 21:55:43 |只看该作者

感觉写的还不错就是第一个论点有点长还有引用的句子挺好的值得学习
语言上可以再有点变换有空看看我的文章吧
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1689377

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fishtutu
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-4 22:44:58 |只看该作者

不错啊! 明天再仔细瞧瞧!

Victory 8.19 XiaMen QQ83404314
We are the best!!!

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abigred
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地板

发表于 2005-8-4 22:48:57 |只看该作者

Originally posted by fishtutu at 2005-8-4 22:44
不错啊! 明天再仔细瞧瞧!

:Lfish你还没看就说不错～～:mad:

要做个透明的玻璃娃娃，哪怕被人伤害，也要晶莹透彻

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phobe
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5楼

发表于 2005-8-5 09:42:06 |只看该作者

Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.
------正文------
Some people, especially the old, are lamenting that the students of today are so encouraged to be skeptical that might bring them to be cynical, and thus do harm to the society. Although I agree that going to extremes will have adverse effect on the society, I do not think it is negative for the students to question and criticize, if they are under proper encouragement.

First of all, the youth are just like the early morning sun----they are energetic and creative, and they keep high enthusiasm towards everything. If we encourage them to observe the world with skeptical eyes, we will reap the rich fruition in the form of invention and discoveries in the future. To be skeptical is an effective way to form original and creative[original和criative 不是同义词吗,重复之嫌] thoughts. Many great thinkers, Aristotle for instance, always keep skeptical towards what he learned. Although his teacher Plato, also the greatest thinker at that time, was famous and honored by the public, Aristotle just refused to share the totally same belief with his teacher, instead he established his own theory. What is interesting is that Plato and Aristotle had distinguished opinions over several things; their theories are both respected by people even now. We can not imagine what a pity it would be if Aristotle just fellow[follow] his teacher's foot prints, and had no original thoughts at all. Referring to the goal of education, we do not just pour the information to the students, but also equip them with critical thinking and skepticism. More vividly, skepticism is like the compass, with which the students would not sail aimless in the sea of knowledge.[这一段论证很充分,但你的topic sentence 很不足,应该改一下,比方说critical thinking is helpful for children to form original thougts,原第一句可放后说]
Furthermore, the characteristic of knowledge requires the students to be skeptical, and in this way, students can impel the development of the society. No theory is perfect and needs no revision. Even the scientific grant, Newton, is no exception. The laws of Newton were proved to be unperfected when Einstein's relativism was born.[能不能换个新颖点的] So it is with many theories and inventions. If students are required to accept all the theories passively, or just by rigid remembrance, there would[not] be any further development in technology and the whole society. Take the theory about the nature of light for example. At that time, whether the nature of light is particle or wave is in heated discussion. However, many people just fellow[follow] Newton's belief---light is particle without doubt. Not until Thomas Young's experiment would people understood[understand] the truth. This example is used to point to passive acceptance on knowledge is harmful, and it will undoubtedly impede the march of science.[这个例子好]Admittedly, we should to take this statement too far. Students of skepticism does not merely mean question and criticize without thinking of the solution. People always cites Descartes’ saying,” I think, therefore I am", as an excuse to be cynical. However, Descartes was strongly against those who just criticized and did nothing to search for solution. So at the same time, students should be encouraged to think of the solution and innovation as well as being skeptical. And moreover, if students are mislead [misled]to criticize or refuse everything, no matter it is reasonable or not, our society will be at great chaos. Like they disobey the laws or ethics in the name of skepticism. Luckily, also through education, we can lead students to make stride on the right way.

To sum up, students with skeptical eyes can contribute to the society with their great energy and creativity. On the contrary, without skepticism, they would be blinded by the existed knowledge, and then our society will be not as flourishing as it is now[你的写作水平挺高的呀,整篇文章论证充分,值得我学习]

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Alexandra
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6楼

发表于 2005-8-5 10:14:39 |只看该作者

我来了

那些允许被任性的年代，叫做青春。

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Alexandra
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7楼

发表于 2005-8-5 10:49:38 |只看该作者

issue153 机警加高频！

时间有点赶，写得不大顺畅，anyway,让大家拍砖吧，自己也修改了一下

------题目------
Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.
------正文------
Some people, especially the old, are lamenting that the students of today are so encouraged to be skeptical that might bring them to be cynical, and thus do harm to the society. Although I agree that going to extremes will have adverse effect on the society, I do not think it is negative for the students to question and criticize, if they are under proper encouragement. [挺好]

First of all, the youth are just like the early morning sun----they are energetic and creative, and they keep high enthusiasm towards everything. If we encourage them to observe the world with skeptical eyes, we will reap the rich fruition in the form of invention and discoveries in the future. [ 这里，建议一下，we will reap the rich 这句，能不能转移提到the youth？意思为，明显点。 ] To be skeptical is an effective way to form original and creative thoughts. Many great thinkers, Aristotle for instance, always keep skeptical towards what he learned. Although his teacher Plato, also the greatest thinker at that time, was famous and honored by the public,[这两句单句，能用连词连起来吗？] Aristotle just refused to share the totally same belief with his teacher, instead he established his own theory. What is interesting is that Plato and Aristotle had distinguished opinions over several things; their theories are both respected by people even now. （We can not imagine what a pity it would be if Aristotle just fellow his teacher's foot prints,）[一时不知道哪里出问题，只是，读起来，有点~~~~] and had no original thoughts at all. Referring to the goal of education, we do not just pour the information to the students, but also equip them with critical thinking and skepticism. More vividly, skepticism is like the compass, with which the students would not sail aimless in the sea of knowledge. [很有自己的一套啊。]

Furthermore, the characteristic of knowledge requires the students to be skeptical, and in this way, students can impel the development of the society. No theory is perfect and needs no revision. Even the scientific grant, Newton, is no exception. The laws [？？？我查查先 ]of Newton were proved to be unperfected when Einstein's relativism was born. So it is with many theories and inventions. If students are required to accept all the theories passively, or just by rigid remembrance, there would be any further development in technology and the whole society. [这里建议不要用 AND，用个表示 ""更进一步"" 的词，呵呵，当然，原来的也对。 ] Take the theory about the nature of light for example. At that time, whether the nature of light is particle or wave is in heated discussion. However, many people just fellow Newton's belief---light is particle without doubt. Not until Thomas Young's experiment would people understood the truth. This example is used to point to passive acceptance on knowledge is harmful, and it will undoubtedly impede the march of science.

Admittedly, we should to take this statement too far. Students of skepticism does not merely mean question and criticize without thinking of the solution. People always cites Descartes’[标点符号？] saying,” I think, therefore I am", as an excuse to be cynical. However, Descartes was strongly against those who just criticized and did nothing to [？？]search for solution. So at the same time, students should be encouraged to think of the solution and innovation as well as being skeptical. And moreover, if students are mislead to criticize or refuse everything, no matter it is reasonable or not, our society will be at great chaos. Like they disobey the laws or ethics in the name of skepticism. [这句再瞧瞧] Luckily, also through education, we can lead students to make stride on the right way.

To sum up, students with skeptical eyes can contribute to the society with their great energy and creativity. On the contrary, without skepticism, they would be blinded by the existed knowledge, and then our society will be not as flourishing as it is now.

理论上的议论文，本身不好讲。我觉得你写得好。

仍然向小牛你学习！

那些允许被任性的年代，叫做青春。

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flfeng
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8楼

发表于 2005-8-5 21:33:04 |只看该作者

issue153 机警加高频！

时间有点赶，写得不大顺畅，anyway,让大家拍砖吧，自己也修改了一下

------题目------
Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively.
------正文------

Some people, especially the old, are lamenting that the students of today are so encouraged to be skeptical that might bring them to be cynical, and thus do harm to the society. Although I agree that going to extremes will have adverse effect on the society, I do not think it is negative for the students to question and criticize, if they are under proper encouragement.
写的挺好的开头！！

First of all, the youth are just like the early morning sun----they are energetic and creative, and they keep high enthusiasm towards everything. If we encourage them to observe the world with skeptical eyes, we will reap the rich fruition in the form of invention and discoveries in the future. To be skeptical is an effective way to form original and creative thoughts. Many great thinkers, Aristotle for instance, always keep skeptical towards what he learned. Although his teacher Plato, also the greatest thinker at that time, was famous and honored by the public, Aristotle just refused to share the totally same belief with his teacher, instead he established his own theory. What is interesting is that Plato and Aristotle had distinguished opinions over several things; their theories are both respected by people even now. We can not imagine what a pity it would be if Aristotle just fellow his teacher's foot prints, and had no original thoughts at all. Referring to the goal of education, we do not just pour the information to the students, but also equip them with critical thinking and skepticism. More vividly, skepticism is like the compass, with which the students would not sail aimless in the sea of knowledge.

Furthermore, the characteristic of knowledge requires the students to be skeptical, and in this way, students can impel the development of the society. No theory is perfect and needs no revision. Even the scientific grant, Newton, is no exception. The laws of Newton were proved to be unperfected when Einstein's relativism was born. So it is with many theories and inventions. If students are required to accept all the theories passively, or just by rigid remembrance, there would be any further development in technology and the whole society. Take the theory about the nature of light for example. At that time, whether the nature of light is particle or wave is in heated discussion. However, many people just fellow Newton's belief---light is particle without doubt. Not until Thomas Young's experiment would people understood the truth. This example is used to point to passive acceptance on knowledge is harmful, and it will undoubtedly impede the march of science.

Admittedly, we should to take this statement too far. Students of skepticism does not merely mean question and criticize without thinking of the solution. People always cites Descartes’ saying,” I think, therefore I am", as an excuse to be cynical. However, Descartes was strongly against those who just criticized and did nothing to search for solution. So at the same time, students should be encouraged to think of the solution and innovation as well as being skeptical. And moreover, if students are mislead to criticize or refuse everything, no matter it is reasonable or not, our society will be at great chaos. Like they disobey the laws or ethics in the name of skepticism. Luckily, also through education, we can lead students to make stride on the right way.

To sum up, students with skeptical eyes can contribute to the society with their great energy and creativity. On the contrary, without skepticism, they would be blinded by the existed knowledge, and then our society will be not as flourishing as it is now.

写的不错，语法句式都有人改了。
努力吧，光明啊！！！

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