[a习作temp] argument179 G89,11日，有拍必回 [复制链接]

petto_y
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楼主

发表于 2005-8-12 15:11:23 |只看该作者

自己顶一下

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polymath
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沙发

发表于 2005-8-14 10:52:11 |只看该作者

没有来改吗？偶一会过来！:):victory:

Mencius said,"When heaven is about to confer a great office on any man,it first exercises his mind with suffering, and his sinews and bones with toil.It exposes his body to hunger………….By all these methods, it stimulates his mind, consolidates his character, and increases his efficiency".

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tuesday420
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板凳

发表于 2005-8-26 17:04:46 |只看该作者

Argument179
The following is a memorandum written by the director of personnel to the president of the Cedar Corporation.
'It would be a mistake to rehire the Good-Taste Company to supply the food in our employee cafeteria next year. It is the second most expensive caterer in the city. In addition, its prices have risen in each of the last three years, and it refuses to provide meals for people on special diets. Just last month three employees complained to me that they no longer eat in the cafeteria because they find the experience 'unbearable.' Our company should instead hire Discount Foods. Discount is a family-owned local company and it offers a varied menu of fish and poultry. I recently tasted a sample lunch at one of the many companies that Discount serves and it was delicious—an indication that hiring Discount will lead to improved employee satisfaction.'

In this memorandum, the director of personnel asserts that they should hire Discount Foods instead of Good-Taste Company. To support his conclusion, he lists several facts in the memorandum, comparing the food service between two companies, and reach the conclusion that Discount is better than Good-Taste. A close scrutiny, however, reveals that none of these facts lent credible support to the assertion, and the comparison is not completely.

First, the director says that the prices of food in Good-Taste Company have risen in each of the last three years and it is the second most expensive caterer in the city. However, he neither mentions the prices in Discount Food, nor tells us why the price of Good-Taste raised and therefore we cannot make a complete comparison between them. It is entirely possible that the prices in Discount Food are even higher, or maybe the Good-Taste is a international food service whose price is a little higher than Discount as a family-owned local company(感觉这个可能性不够strong，还不如说GT公司使用更有营养更精挑细选的原料成本更高). Besides, it is also possible that because of the raise of material, the price of Discount also have raised for years. Without a complete comparison, the director cannot convince me on the basis that the Discount Food is better, let alone replacing Good-Taste Company by Discount Food.

In addition, it is said that the discount Foods offers a varied menu of fish and poultry while Good-Taste company refuse to provide meals for people on special diets. Nevertheless, the director does not give out the information about the need of Cedar Corporation's employees. It is not said in the memorandum that how many employees need special diets. If there is only one person of hundreds employees in the company need special food, I guess(感觉guess语气不太好) it is not necessary change the food service. It is also not mentioned how many people like fish or poultry, and how many prefer beef, pork, or mutton. Lacking of such information, it is equally possible that most people in Cedar Corporation prefer the food provided by Good-Taste rather than Discount. Therefore, the director cannot prove that Discount is better than Good-Taste before he give out new information about employees demand.

Moreover, the director says that in last month three employees complained to him their 'unbearable' experience, but he does not say(inform?say用的比较多了，最好换一换) the reason why(the reason why，有争议的用法呀，不知道ETS怎么判呢) they are unbearable. Possibility is that they do not satisfied merely because they have too high requirement of food, thus, such complaint will happen in any Food Service, including Discount. If the director cannot rule out this possibility, he cannot conclude that they should change the service.

In sum, the director's assertion that they should hire Discount rather than Good-Taste is not substantially proved, and the fact he mentioned is little indication that Discount is less expensive or the employees prefer the food provided by Discount. If the director wants to convince me that Discount is a better choice, he should give (more) information about the price of Discount, the demand of employees and the reason for the complaint.

几个点都找到了，注意一下语言，有的句子可以精简一下就不会那么中国化了。比如If the director cannot rule out this possibility, he cannot conclude that they should change the service. 能力有限，就看到这么多了，add oil~ :victory:

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