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[i习作temp] issue10 我的第一篇，跑题了，汉语思维也很严重，给大家做个反例吧 [复制链接]

hzyj0322
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-12-21 23:47:42 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

issue10. "Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated."

政府必须要确保主要城市发展所需的财政支持，因为一个国家的文化传统主要是在城市中得以保存和发展。
提纲:
1.城市在文化的保存和产生中有着不可低估的重要作用，但是政府也没有必要必须保证城市的财力支持。
2.文化不是在城市中产生的
3文化不是在城市中保存的
4 政府的财力支持不是必须的

There is no doubt that cities is playing an important role in the preserving and generating of cultural traditions. Admittedly, in cities where there is better economic condition and cultural atmosphere, the cultural tradition could be systematically preserved and is more likely to be developed and spread. Yet for my part, although from what we have discussed above city is an appropriate place for the culture traditions, it is not really as it seems to be, or even if it is, the government’s financial support is not absolutely indispensable.

First of all, culture traditions in great measures are not generated in cities. They primarily and originally come out during the long history of a country when big cities at present probably have not come into being then. No one can deny the fact that culture traditions are generated mostly in small towns and rural areas with the development of the economy there where without urbanization the most distinctive traditional culture can be found compared with metropolis.

Moreover, modern city seems not to be a nice place where cultural traditions will be perfectly preserved. We should not superficially combine culture preserving with museums and art galleries. Indeed the seed of culture all the while takes root in the soil of the common people and the history of the nation and accordingly only by infiltrating the daily life could culture be preserved for good and all. However, during the process of globalization in metropolis and in the modern society, always compared into the multicultural stew spot, cultural traditions are consequentially mixed into other cultural elements, which will not remain as before but catch the characters of different cultures. In big cities such as New York, London or even in Beijing, we can’t easily find any unalloyed traditional culture, a modified one instead.

Finally, I’m not inclined with the suggestion that cities need necessary financial aid from the government to thrive in order to preserve and generate cultural traditions. On one hand, as we have referred above, culture has a close relation with the history and the common people’ life, thus money should not be considered such a vital part in culture preserving and generating. On the other hand, besides the government’ financial support, private subsidizing will also contribute greatly to the culture preserving by establishing museums as well as philanthropy institutions.

In sum, big cities is certainly an important part of culture preserving, but not so an indispensable part. Practically large financial support will not have direct impact on the culture preserving and generating which closely link to the history and common people especially in small towns and rural areas which have not experienced urbanization or even globalization.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-12-22 at 00:02 ]

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@amy@
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沙发

发表于 2005-12-21 23:49:42 |只看该作者

嘿嘿，提醒你一下呦，你的标题要改的，要在最前面加上“Issue10”，然后一个空格 ^_^

用心就不会错过...

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staralways
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板凳

发表于 2005-12-22 00:02:52 |只看该作者

楼上的提醒很好。这次帮忙改了，下次可要注意哦！

Love, is always a star in the foggy dawn......

寄托博客：爱似晨星

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智恩
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地板

发表于 2005-12-22 00:12:27 |只看该作者

这个题目有点难，当时我出题时歉考虑

There is no doubt that cities is playing an important role in the preserving and generating of cultural traditions. Admittedly, in cities where there is better economic condition and cultural atmosphere, the cultural tradition could be systematically preserved and is more likely to be developed and spread. Yet for my part, although from what we have discussed above city is an appropriate place for the culture traditions, it is not really as it seems to be, or even if it is, the government’s financial support is not absolutely indispensable.

First of all, culture traditions in great measures are not generated in cities. They primarily and originally come out during the long history of a country when big cities at present probably have not come into being then. No one can deny the fact that culture traditions are generated mostly in small towns and rural areas with the development of the economy there where without urbanization the most distinctive traditional culture can be found compared with metropolis. （为什么没有人会否认文化传统是在小地方产生的，这点说得太主观，缺少例子支持）

Moreover, modern city seems not to be a nice place where cultural traditions will be perfectly preserved. We should not superficially combine culture preserving with museums and art galleries. Indeed the seed of culture all the while takes root in the soil of the common people and the history of the nation and accordingly only by infiltrating the daily life could culture be preserved for good and all. However, during the process of globalization in metropolis and in the modern society, always compared into the multicultural stew spot, cultural traditions are consequentially mixed into other cultural elements, which will not remain as before but catch the characters of different cultures. In big cities such as New York, London or even in Beijing, we can’t easily find any unalloyed traditional culture, a modified one instead.

Finally, I’m not inclined with the suggestion that cities need necessary financial aid from the government to thrive in order to preserve and generate cultural traditions. On（the） one hand, as we have referred above, culture has a close relation（relationship） with the history and the common people’ life, thus money should not be considered such a vital part in culture preserving and generating. On the other hand, besides the government’ financial support, private subsidizing will also contribute greatly to the culture preserving by establishing museums as well as philanthropy institutions.

In sum, big cities is certainly an important part of culture preserving, but not so an indispensable part. Practically large financial support will not have direct impact on the culture preserving and generating which closely link to the history and common people especially in small towns and rural areas which have not experienced urbanization or even globalization.

第一次写这么难的题目能写到这个水平已经很好了，韩小king继续加油！

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5楼

发表于 2005-12-22 00:24:46 |只看该作者

阿？？

啊？姐姐的行动真是够迅速啊，出乎意料！

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hzyj0322
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6楼

发表于 2005-12-22 00:27:03 |只看该作者

我很汉语思维好严重啊，怎么办呢，背背工具箱能有用吧，还是背的东西太少了，
开始准备作文了！！！！

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7楼

发表于 2005-12-22 00:35:35 |只看该作者

Originally posted by hzyj0322 at 2005-12-22 00:27
我很汉语思维好严重啊，怎么办呢，背背工具箱能有用吧，还是背的东西太少了，
开始准备作文了！！！！

一家人，呵呵，同姓哈。

让我们在寄托里相互帮助鼓励，一同寻找生命里的寄托

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8楼

发表于 2005-12-22 11:23:08 |只看该作者

我主要是在思维和逻辑上给你提些建议，语言方面不怎么做修改
There is no doubt that cities is playing an important role in the preserving and generating of cultural traditions. Admittedly, in cities where there is better economic condition and cultural atmosphere, the cultural tradition could be systematically preserved and is more likely to be developed and spread. Yet for my part, although from what we have discussed above city is an appropriate place for the culture traditions, it is not really as it seems to be, or even if it is, the government’s financial support is not absolutely indispensable.（要去掉个not吧，不然双重否定表肯定，就是赞同了）

First of all, culture traditions in great measures are not generated in cities. They primarily and originally come out during the long history of a country when big cities at present probably have not come into being then. （这句话有点偏题。这句话是说传统文化产生时大城市还没形成，但和传统文化不在大城市中产生没有直接的关系）No one can deny the fact that culture traditions are generated mostly in small towns and rural areas with the development of the economy there where without urbanization the most distinctive traditional culture can be found compared with metropolis.（这里是个多么好的展开来说的机会呀！接着展开说小城市、乡村产生传统文化的情况）

Moreover, modern city seems not to be a nice place where cultural traditions will be perfectly preserved. We should not superficially combine culture preserving with museums and art galleries.（这句话写的很好。让步句式，显得你的论证考虑的很全面，很周到。赞一个！：） Indeed the seed of culture all the while takes root in the soil of the common people and the history of the nation and accordingly only by infiltrating the daily life could culture be preserved for good and all. However, during the process of globalization in metropolis and in the modern society, always compared into the multicultural stew spot(pot), cultural traditions are consequentially mixed into(with) other cultural elements, which will not remain as before but catch the characters of different cultures. In big cities such as New York, London or even in Beijing, we can’t easily find any unalloyed traditional culture, a modified one instead.（我们都想到了举例New York, Beijing,嘻嘻··）

Finally, I’m not inclined with the suggestion that cities need necessary financial aid from the government to thrive in order to preserve and generate cultural traditions. On one hand, as we have referred above, culture has a close relation with the history and the common people’s life, thus money should not be considered such a vital part in culture preserving and generating. On the other hand, besides the government’ financial support, private subsidizing will also contribute greatly to the culture preserving by establishing museums as well as philanthropy institutions.

In sum, big cities is certainly an important part of culture preserving, but not so an indispensable part. Practically large financial support will not have direct impact on the culture preserving and generating which closely link to the history and common people especially in small towns and rural areas which have not experienced urbanization or even globalization.

整篇文章总体来说写的不错。没有什么大的问题。加油哦！

帮我看看吧，没你写的好，死劲拍，呵呵！https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=382297

[ Last edited by gaojiehaha on 2005-12-22 at 11:46 ]

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