寄托天下
查看: 1042|回复: 4
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[i习作temp] issue123 写晚了,谢谢大家拍~~ [复制链接]

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
917
注册时间
2005-7-20
精华
0
帖子
2
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2005-12-27 01:27:40 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue123 It is possible to identify a person's politics within a very short time of meeting him or her. Everything about people—their clothes, their friends, the way they talk, what they eat—reflects their political beliefs

提纲:
1、        特殊情况下,我们通过服饰可以看出某人的政治倾向
2、        我们不能依靠日常表现来推断某人的政治倾向
3、        要真正了解某人政治倾向,要结合调查和对待政治事件的惯常行为

How to identify a person's politics? Does everything about people such like their clothes, their friends, the way the talk, and what they eat reflect their political beliefs? I don't think so. Though we could know something from these, however, these things couldn't be strong evidence to form exact identification.

On specific occasions, we could know people's political beliefs by observation. For example, in important conference, people may dress different uniforms to show their identification of varied groups, which have different political beliefs. In this situation, we could know well about a person's politics from their clothes, because the uniforms did reflect which beliefs they support.

However, in most situation of our daily lives, what people’s clothes look like, who their friends are, the way they talk or what they eat could not tell us well about people's politics. For one thing, there are not necessary cause relationship between those things and politics. Actually, political beliefs represent what people would like the society to be, it's a dream or wish for better life. It is the answer after we question ourselves the real meaning of life. And what we dress or what we do mainly base on requirements of special occasions, such as bringing roses for lovers on dating, having fast food because of just seconds of rest time. We could hardly to find the cause and effect between these political beliefs and daily life. For another, even if politics do have effects on the way of daily lives, it's unadvisable to presume politics by daily lives. Because there are so many possible reasons to form an especial way to live, we could not clearly find out which part of live was the results of politics, and if depending on the whole daily lives, we have great possible to get the false understanding about politics.  

For real understanding of people's politics, we have to spend some time on it, we could not expect to have the truth in a very short time. Thought we have some quick ways to know what we need, such as send people a survey to investigate their attitudes on varied political beliefs, directly ask them what they think about, however, people may refuse to cooperate, hide their true thoughts for some reasons, or even lie to the investigators. How could we do if the quick ways seem useless?  Take time! We have to presume people's political beliefs by combining quick survey and long time analyzing their regular behaviors relative to political events. By comparing the results of the two sides, we may find out whether people told us the truth, whether their politics indeed affect their behaviors, and then we may conclude what one's politics are.

By combining quick survey on political attitudes and long time analyzing about regular behaviors, it may be possible for us to really know people's political beliefs.
love ipsy!!  家在天津,暂居上海。。。 地球游民~~
回应
0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
0
寄托币
1104
注册时间
2005-3-24
精华
0
帖子
1
沙发
发表于 2005-12-27 15:32:08 |只看该作者
How to identify a person's politics? Does everything about people such like their clothes, their friends, the way the talk, and what they eat reflect their political beliefs? I don't think so. Though we could know something from these, however, these things couldn't be strong evidence to form exact identification.

On specific occasions, we could know people's political beliefs by observation. For example, in important conference, people may dress different uniforms to show their identification of varied groups, which have different political beliefs. In this situation, we could know well about a person's politics from their clothes, because the uniforms did reflect which beliefs they support.
建议修改一下TS。虽然说题目中也确实含了know by observation 的意思,但是感觉by observation是一个很模糊的表达,observe哪些内容?是long term observation还是short term observation?什么深度的observation?TS还是尽量明确一些,便于后面有条理的展开。

另外,我不说你也知道,太短了!!!展开不够!!!


However, in most situation of our daily lives, what people’s clothes look like, who their friends are, the way they talk or what they eat could not tell us well about people's politics. For one thing, there are not necessary cause relationship between those things and politics. Actually, political beliefs represent what people would like the society to be, it's a dream or wish for better life. It is the answer after we question ourselves the real meaning of life. And what we dress or what we do mainly base on requirements of special occasions, such as bringing roses for lovers on dating, having fast food because of just seconds of rest time. We could hardly to (去掉to)find the cause and effect between these political beliefs and daily life. For another, even if politics do have effects on the way of daily lives, it's unadvisable to presume politics by daily lives. Because there are so many possible reasons to form an especial way to live, we could not clearly find out which part of live was the results of politics, and if depending on the whole daily lives, we have great possible to get the false understanding about politics.
给出了political belief的界定,很好呢!但是,这个界定还是有点宽泛,有点虚,不太利于后面的展开。
强烈感觉这里没必要分for one thing 和 for another, 你的两点之间虽然有一个even if 作为递进,但是解释中其实是同一条:daily life 还由其他各种因素影响、决定。
我觉得与其这里分两点,不如并成一点,深入探讨一下political belief的形成,daily life的影响和决定因素,讲得再细致深入些。


For real understanding of people's politics, we have to spend some time on it, we could not expect to have the truth in a very short time. Thought we have some quick ways to know what we need, such as send people a survey to investigate their attitudes on varied political beliefs, directly ask them what they think about, however, people may refuse to cooperate, hide their true thoughts for some reasons, or even lie to the investigators. How could we do if the quick ways seem useless?  Take time! We (ms你文中的we越来越多了~还记得imong的那个帖子吧?)have to presume people's political beliefs by combining quick survey and long time analyzing their regular behaviors relative to political events. By comparing the results of the two sides, we may find out whether people told us the truth, whether their politics indeed affect their behaviors, and then we may conclude what one's politics are.
1。如果是从这段的TS来看,讲survey有点扯开去了
题目中确实有讲到within a very short time这个问题, 但它这是特定的within a very short time,后半句给出了限定,是指通过观察一个人的外在特征作出判断。
所以,我觉得在这里说survey不恰当。回应那个within a very short time 的话,不如直接说需要长时间的积累和细致深入的了解。

2。如果是从全文的结尾来看,就不应该这样猛烈地抨击survey.
你是在给出一个比原题好的方法,所以你的任务就是证明它到底好在哪里,而不是抓住一个侧面说它那里不好(虽然我知道你的目的是突出后面长期研究的重要性)

反正,这段中针对survey展开的那些句子很是莫名。。。你看着办吧


By combining quick survey on political attitudes and long time analyzing about regular behaviors, it may be possible for us to really know people's political beliefs.

[ Last edited by I want my life on 2005-12-27 at 15:36 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 6Rank: 6

声望
0
寄托币
3615
注册时间
2005-5-5
精华
1
帖子
25
板凳
发表于 2005-12-27 18:27:44 |只看该作者

倩倩真勤奋~~!hug

提纲:
1、        特殊情况下,我们通过服饰可以看出某人的政治倾向
2、        我们不能依靠日常表现来推断某人的政治倾向
3、        要真正了解某人政治倾向,要结合调查和对待政治事件的惯常行为
提纲中的观点真不错~~


How to identify a person's politics? Does everything about people such like their clothes, their friends, the way the talk, and what they eat reflect their political beliefs? I don't think so. Though we could know something from these, however, these things couldn't be strong evidence to form exact identification.我爱寄托

On specific occasions, we could know people's political beliefs by observation. For example, in important conference, people may dress different uniforms to show their identification of variedvarious groups groups, which have different political beliefs. In this situation, we could know well about a person's politics from their clothes, because the uniforms did reflect which beliefs they support.现象再举多一点更好,感觉没有很展开~~

However, in most situation of our daily lives, what people’s clothes look like, who their friends are, the way they talk or what they eat could not tell us well about people's politics. For one thing, there are notno necessary cause relationship between those things and politics. Actually, political beliefs represent what people would like the society to be, it's a dream or wish for better life. It is the answer after we question ourselves the real meaning of life. And what we dress or what we do mainly base on requirements of special occasions, such as bringing roses for lovers on dating, having fast food because of just seconds of rest time. We could hardly to find the cause and effect between these political beliefs and daily life. For another, even if politics do have effects on the way of daily lives, it's unadvisable to presume politics by daily lives. Because there are so many possible reasons to form an especial way to live, we could not clearly find out which part of live was the results of politics, and if depending on the whole daily lives, we have great possible to get the false understanding about politics. 你的意思:1政治是高追求的东西,而实际生活和其不在一个层面。2 生活中的琐事太多,无法分辨。真是很细致而有道理,但是一般生活也会反映高层建筑啊,因为交往,谈话等并不是简单的吃,喝。

For real understanding of people's politics, we have to spend some time on it, we could not expect to have the truth in a very short time. Thought we have some quick ways to know what we need, such as send people a survey to investigate their attitudes on varied political beliefs, directly ask them what they think about, however, people may refuse to cooperate, hide their true thoughts for some reasons, or even lie to the investigators. How could we do if the quick ways seem useless?  Take time! ^_^这个太口语化了吧?语法上不对恩We have to presume people's political beliefs by combining quick survey and long time analyzing their regular behaviors relative to political events. By comparing the results of the two sides, we may find out whether people told us the truth, whether their politics indeed affect their behaviors, and then we may conclude what one's politics are.

By combining quick survey on political attitudes and long time analyzing about regular behaviors, it may be possible for us to really know people's political beliefs.
是在限时马?结尾感觉太仓促了点。

小幽的观点满全面的哪,还提出了解决办法~~~~学习~
不过注意内部的一些还不够严密的地方。
加油恩~!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
0
寄托币
1523
注册时间
2005-7-3
精华
3
帖子
11
地板
发表于 2005-12-27 20:09:05 |只看该作者
How to identify a person's politics? (开头第一句-----如何确定一个人的政治信仰------这个问题没有回答?自己引出了问题,难道要留给读者去回答吗?). Does everything about people such like(是as) their clothes, their friends, the way the(是they) talk, and what they eat reflect(少s) their political beliefs? I don't think so(看这里的语气是全盘否定题目,但第二段怎么成了小部分赞成?这样don not think so就要更改了,不妨先来个让步)Though we could know something from these, however, these things couldn't be strong evidence to form exact identification.

On specific occasions, we could know people's political beliefs by observation(通过观察----跟吃、穿、谈话还是有区别的,这里最好对观察限定到题目的范围内,否则这个词意思太泛了). For example, in important conference, people may dress different uniforms to show their identification of varied groups(能够进一步展开吗?比如穿什么样的衣服代表什么政治信仰?你这里轻描淡写,导致例子不够深入而且不具体。可以结合这个例子一边展开一边分析), which have different political beliefs. In this situation, we could know well about a person's politics from their clothes, because the uniforms did reflect which beliefs(信仰意思太泛了,和政治信仰可是有区别的) they support.

However, in most situation of our daily lives, what people’s clothes look like, who their friends are, the way they talk or what they eat could not tell us well about people's politics. For one thing, there are not necessary cause relationship between those things and politics. Actually, political beliefs represent what people would like the society to be(这里对政治信仰的解释似乎太随意了?仅仅有对社会的希望能算是政治信仰吗?信仰需不需要始终坚持,毕生追求?这个定义既看不出这个是不是信仰,而体现不出政治的含义),it's a dream or wish(政治信仰是梦和希望?这样解释是不是有些狭义?梦的话是永远不会实现的,难道政治信仰永远不可能实现吗?),  for better life. It is the answer after we question ourselves the real meaning of life(生活的意义最多只能算信仰,政治的信仰在哪里体现那?). And what we dress or what we do mainly base on requirements of special occasions(我们穿着和做事是由偶尔的情况要求得,这个太主观了吧?你考大学难道只是一时的冲动?这个观点牵强了), such as bringing roses for lovers on dating(这个约会也是偶尔的情况吗?我怀疑,或许经常约会的说,最好解释分析一下,否则有歧义,特别是例子本身一句话说不清楚的时候), having fast food because of just seconds of rest time(这句意思不通,因为休息时间?应该是节省吃饭时间为了更好工作和休息。例子是为观点(我们穿着和做事是由偶尔的情况要求得)服务的,这里看不出偶尔的情况?这个例子有些跑题了吧?). We could hardly to find the cause and effect between these political beliefs and daily life. For another, even if politics do have effects on the way of daily lives, it's unadvisable to presume politics by daily lives(政治本来就在日常生活中体现,况且这里日常生活是不等价于吃,穿,谈话方式的,你的范围无形扩大了,却没有对两者关系的解释说明). Because there are so many possible reasons to form an especial way to live, we could not clearly find out which part of live was the results of politics, and if depending on the whole daily lives, we have great possible to get the false understanding about politics(怎么误解?不明白,最好具体一些,不要太抽象).  (本段你给了政治信仰一个定义,可是这个定义太不确切了。你要说政治信仰和吃、穿等没有因果,也只是提到两者没有因果联系而已,随后给了个例子,也尽是现象而已(这个例子本身也问题多多)。至于为什么不存在这种关系,为什么政治信仰无法在其中体现,你却只字不提,没有深入解释和说明。总体上感觉缺乏说服力,就是重复你的观点:两者没有因果关系)

For real understanding of people's politics, we have to spend some time on it, we could not expect to have the truth in a very short time. Thought we have some quick ways to know what we need(人们需要什么,与吃、穿、谈话方式可是有区别的,这里有个问题:既然能够快速知道人们需要,这与前句:无法快速了解真实情况---矛盾了吧?不严密), such as send people a survey to investigate their attitudes on varied political beliefs, directly ask them what they think about, however, people may refuse to cooperate, hide their true thoughts for some reasons, or even lie to the investigators(按照你的逻辑,无法快速了解人们的真实情况是由于人们不配合调查?撒谎?这个原因不恰当吧?). How could we do if (这里假设表明你还是认为快速了解是部分有用的,可是这与前句:无法快速了解真实情况---矛盾了吧?)the quick ways seem useless?  Take time! We have to presume people's political beliefs by combining quick survey and long time analyzing their regular behaviors relative to political events. By comparing the results of the two sides, we may find out whether people told us the truth, whether their politics indeed affect their behaviors, and then we may conclude what one's politics are.(本段的思路不错,可是阐述的理由和解释存在逻辑问题)

By combining quick survey on political attitudes and long time analyzing about regular behaviors, it may be possible for us to really know people's political beliefs.(结尾你的观点不完整,这里只是提出解决办法,但是你对题目的观点又是什么哪?是不是是坚不够了?)


虽然问题多多,比我的强多了(竟然跑题了,汗.....)。学习你的大思路:分析问题,最后给出解决方案!

[ Last edited by win-sz on 2005-12-27 at 22:26 ]

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
0
寄托币
14757
注册时间
2005-5-3
精华
5
帖子
242

Golden Apple

5
发表于 2005-12-27 23:07:28 |只看该作者
特殊情况下,我们通过服饰可以看出某人的政治倾向
2、        我们不能依靠日常表现来推断某人的政治倾向
3、        要真正了解某人政治倾向,要结合调查和对待政治事件的惯常行为

How to identify a person's politics? [这个问句到哪找答案撒?]Does everything about people such like their clothes, their friends, the way the talk, and what they eat reflect their political beliefs? I don't think so. Though we could know something from these, however, these things couldn't be strong evidence to form exact identification.[看了你的提纲,似乎这段并没有把所有信息包含进去哦]

On specific occasions, we could know people's political beliefs by observation. [在举例之前可以适当阐述,这样才有说服力撒]For example, in important conference, people may dress different uniforms to show their identification of varied groups, which have different political beliefs. In this situation, we could know well about a person's politics from their clothes, because the uniforms did reflect which beliefs they support.[这两个句子似乎是同级的,并不相互递进的关系,怎么说呢,感觉有些重复,然后没有说清楚,展开的不够]

However, in most situation of our daily lives, what people’s clothes look like, who their friends are, the way they talk or what they eat could not tell us well about people's politics. For one thing, there are not necessary cause relationship between those things and politics. Actually, political beliefs represent what people would like the society to be, it's a dream or wish for better life. It is the answer after we question ourselves the real meaning of life. And what we dress or what we do mainly base on requirements of special occasions, such as bringing roses for lovers on dating, having fast food because of just seconds of rest time. We could hardly to find the cause and effect between these political beliefs and daily life.[这个层次的分析不错,只是最好句子之间连接更流畅就更好了哦] For another, even if politics do have effects on the way of daily lives, it's unadvisable to presume politics by daily lives. Because there are so many possible reasons to form an especial way to live, we could not clearly find out which part of live was the results of politics, and if depending on the whole daily lives, we have great possible to get the false understanding about politics.  [这两个层次之间的关系不明晰哦]

For real understanding of people's politics, we have to spend some time on it, we could not expect to have the truth in a very short time. Thought we have some quick ways to know what we need, such as send people a survey to investigate their attitudes on varied political beliefs, directly ask them what they think about, however, people may refuse to cooperate, hide their true thoughts for some reasons, or even lie to the investigators.[这个例子不太恰当哦,再有关于举例,一定要围绕着题目中心来进行] How could we do if the quick ways seem useless?  Take time! We have to presume people's political beliefs by combining quick survey and long time analyzing their regular behaviors relative to political events. By comparing the results of the two sides, we may find out whether people told us the truth, whether their politics indeed affect their behaviors, and then we may conclude what one's politics are.

By combining quick survey on political attitudes and long time analyzing about regular behaviors, it may be possible for us to really know people's political beliefs.[结尾太单薄了撒]

使用道具 举报

RE: issue123 写晚了,谢谢大家拍~~ [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
issue123 写晚了,谢谢大家拍~~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-384640-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部