寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › 刚SoreItNow的一篇文章

返回列表

查看: 553|回复: 4

[i习作temp] 刚SoreItNow的一篇文章 [复制链接]

starsailor
UID??2180748

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 104
注册时间: 2006-1-28
精华: 0
帖子: 0

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2006-2-12 18:55:14 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

其实这篇文章除了字数多没觉得怎么着，是我最没底的没有带人名地名的例子型文章，
大家帮着看看是不是e rater给高了，如果哪位大大帮着改一遍更好:-)。时间上挑题目时想了两三分钟提纲，但写的时间是41分钟。顺便请诸位回答一下我在置顶机经里问的一个新旧题库的问题。

第二段那个survey是编的，请问能不能瞒过判卷人呢？
e rater还说下面这句话是fragment，请问是吗，我对语法很没底地说。
For instance, several years ago, many students in China desire to learn information technology, such as computer programming.

BTW，开头段some people hold...被认为过长。还有IT没有被认为是information technology的缩写，而是it的大写，其他的就是一些小语法、小笔误。
Score: 5
Explanation of Score:
A 5 paper presents a generally thoughtful, well-developed analysis of the complexities of the issue and conveys meaning clearly.

A typical paper in this category

-- presents a well-considered position on the issue
-- develops the position with logically sound reasons and/or well-chosen examples
-- is focused and generally well organized, connecting ideas appropriately
-- expresses ideas clearly and well, using appropriate vocabulary and sentence variety
-- demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English but may have minor errors
Topic:
"It is unfortunate that today's educators place so much emphasis on finding out what students want to include in the curriculum and then giving it to them. It is the educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them."

Present your perspective on the issue below, using relevant reasons and/or examples to support your views.

word: 554
sentences: 25

Your Answer:
What is the responsibility of students and teachers? This question arouses fierce debates among people nowadays. Some people hold the position that the duty of teachers should place their emphasis on finding out what students want to include in the curriculum and then giving it to them while others, including the speaker, claim that it is educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them. As far as I am concerned, though I concede that educators should pay enough attention to students' demands, the standpoints of the speaker is basically right.

Admittedly, educators mush pay enough attention to students' requirement. Since students are the group of people who educators should educate and the purpose of education is to instill students with correct moral standards and knowledge, educators should know what students desire to understand and grasp. Furthermore, if educators instill students the knowledge that they are interested, it is highly likely that students could learn them better and faster than knowledge that they are not interested in. For instance, several years ago, many students in China desire to learn information technology, such as computer programming. However, teachers from many high schools are not interested in such courses while others support the idea that high school should teach courses about information technology. After several years, a survey of high school students by authoritative organization proves that students who have taken courses related to IT learn better than those who have not. This evidence shows that listening to students' voice on courses could help educator design better curriculum. In short, understanding what students want to learn could help educators educate students more effectively and efficiently.

However, the right of determining students' curriculum should belong to educators rather than students. Since educators are more familiar with the theories and practical situation of educating students while students have little experience in how to be educated, educators could design a appropriate curriculum for students while students are inclined to ingore several important courses which they do not like. For example, many students are not interested in Physics because they think that it is very difficult. If the right of determining curriculums belong to students, they might reduce the difficulty of physics and even eliminate this course. Nevertheless, this choice is totally wrong because physics not only help students learn knowledge about the nature but also improve students' intellectual abilities.

Moreover, it is also students' duty to learn the curriculum that is presented to them. When people are students, they always prefer playing games to studying knowledge. As a result, they might not be interested in the curriculum represented to them and want to escape from it. However, what in the curriculum is knowledge handed down from their ancestors and the explaination and experience of the nature and the society. Moreover, it plays a vital role nowadays. Without these knowledge, a person cannot survive in current society, let alone to take on the responsibility to build up a better society in the future. Consequently, it is students' duty to learn the curriculum represented to them.

In conclusion, though it is true that educators should pay enough attention to what students desire to learn, it is educators' duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them.

[ 本帖最后由 starsailor 于 2006-2-12 19:01 编辑 ]

已有 1 人评分	寄托币	收起理由
11yaoyao	+ 3	谢谢分享

总评分: 寄托币 + 3 查看全部投币

回应
0

使用道具举报

collins_liu
UID??190687

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 0
寄托币: 1094
注册时间: 2004-12-29
精华: 0
帖子: 1

沙发

发表于 2006-2-12 19:02:52 |只看该作者

550的字数也不算多的啊。。。。。

使用道具举报

starsailor
UID??2180748

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 104
注册时间: 2006-1-28
精华: 0
帖子: 0

板凳

发表于 2006-2-12 19:04:05 |只看该作者

对于我来说算多了...
不要鄙视我...

使用道具举报

superficial
UID??2151788

超级会员

Rank: 7 Rank: 7 Rank: 7

声望: 0
寄托币: 5831
注册时间: 2005-10-26
精华: 0
帖子: 194

地板

发表于 2006-2-12 20:03:26 |只看该作者

不错不错哈哈字数不是最关键的~~

环行地球，拯救爱情

使用道具举报

starsailor
UID??2180748

寄托新兵

Rank: 2

声望: 0
寄托币: 104
注册时间: 2006-1-28
精华: 0
帖子: 0

5楼

发表于 2006-2-12 20:09:08 |只看该作者

希望能有点具体意见……

那个题库的问题我还是贴过来吧

2.10上海那个
issue: 160"Many problems of modern society cannot be solved by laws and the legal system because moral behavior cannot be legislated"
11"Money spent on research is almost always a good investment, even when the results of that research are controversial."
新题库题号.如果老题库的话分别为140和235,好象都不算非常高频.

issue在新东方教程里是160，11。但在03 7月版孙远里是180和31
是不是加减20弄错了？
一直分不太清新旧题库，但我觉得应该是孙远的是旧题库吧
另外网上报的机经都是按旧题库，也就是185是丑闻那个版本吧

使用道具举报