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The speaker hold [holds]the opinion that all faculty should work in the professions related to courses they teach outside the academic world in order to improve the instruction quality, yet I can not agree with the claim in that it may does no good to the education quality.
Generally, the teaching quality should be measured in two ways: the teaching level of teachers, which could be illustrated by the substantiveness of the teaching materials and the profoundness of the knowledge teachers impart to their students, and the perfect understanding and grasp of the knowledge for the students.[先就教学质量来个界定,这种写法值得学习] However, faculty's taking occupation in professions outside the academic world achieves neither of the above two, although it is relevant to the courses they teach.
First of all, working outside the academic work benefit [确定有benefit to的用法么,似乎用contributes 或devotes更恰当]nothing to the teaching level of teachers. As we all know[众所周知:as known to all], time is limited for each person, and if you choose to do one thing at a certain time, it is impossible for you to do another---I mean, to be single-minded and contribute yourself wholeheartedly into it. Based on the limitation of time, the teacher's adopting occupations outside the academic world will surely reduce the time they spend in the academic world. However, it [it 指代什么呢]requires teachers to spend time in preparing the teaching content for the classes and thinking about the way of teaching, the more time they spend, the more abundant teaching material they will collect and prepared[prepare] , also better the way [个人觉得用the better way]they think about to illustrate the academic materials, [这个句式挺好的]so that they can convey knowledge better to the students. On the contrary, working outside will counteract on the teaching quality by reducing the amount of time originally spent on improving teaching levels.
Secondly, it also impact [impacts]on the effect of learning by the students if teachers work outside the academic world. The talents and ability of students do play an important role in the process of their learning, nevertheless, as we all admitted, the effective way to achieve mastering the knowledge also can be led by communication with teachers,[这个句子能不能理顺点,翻译的痕迹太重] especially when the students have questions. Considering this, teacher's incapacity to answer their questions or having no time to communicate with them will certainly detriment [detriment只作名词用]their grasp of knowldge[knowledge].Take a teacher who [whose]professions in economics, for example. If the teacher go outside to work related in the courses he/she teaches, namely, the salesman, the stock broker, even the CEO in some enterprises, then it is inevitably [inevitable]for him/her to rush for millions of e-mails a day, reading and analysing[analyzing] thousands of reports, contracts, etc. and communicate with a lot of business people relavant[relevant] to the work, then how can they turn their focus on the learning problems their students face? how [How]can they cut the time from their hasty situation in the work they handle to communicate with their students and help them solve the problems?In this case, the quality of teaching can be hold[held] back by the teacher working's negative impact on the student's.[这个例子意思很明白,可是句子能不能理清晰点,看起来挺费劲的]
Admittedly, in light of that teachers adopt work relavant [relevant]to the courses they teach, it may behooves students by teacher's better relating what is on the book to what is in the real life.[翻译的痕迹太重,看上去太别扭,可改为 in light of adopting work relevant to the courses they teach, teacher can better relate what is on the book to what is in the real life, which undoubtedly benefits students] However, it [it 指代什么呢]can be obtained by means other than teacher's working, say, the job training or practices during winter or summer holidays. [前后有歧义] Moreover, without the soundness of academic knowledge, how can students apply the theory to practice?
In sum, teacher's working outside the academic world will be ultimately detrimental to the quality of instruction, either by harming the level of teaching or by impacting the effect of students' learning. Therefore, in order to improve the quality, the teachers can probe for other ways such as improving the style of their teaching, organizing some forums, or encouraging students to take some extra research after class, instead working outside the academic world themselves.
总的来看思路结构还是很清晰的,先就教学质量来个界定,再从教与学两个方面分别论述,再让步一下指出其他途径,不过第三段那个例子似乎又回到第二段已经论述过的时间不够的问题,个人觉得第三段的例子应重点从学生的角度讲
语言当然不错,句式灵活,不过似乎有的地方还须理顺点 |
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