[a习作temp] argument147 [十日大冲刺小组]作业贴--totti 第6次作业 [复制链接]

totti
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2007-3-1 18:32:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Argument147 第8篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：30分2秒 381 words
从2007年2月1日17时7分到2007年2月1日17时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author recommends that we must produce new kind of video games to improve the sale. To support his claim, the author cites survey of video-game players what they need and provide some other information. However, close scrutiny of each of these facts, this argument is logical flawed in several critical respects.

The threshold problem with this argument is that the author dose not provides more formation about the real reason why the sales have declined. It is possible that all the video games companies also have not gained profits due to the economic depression. It is also possible that some other reasons that have bad effect on the sale. Without provide reason in details, the author cannot convince me we must have some change on our products.

In addition, even if we must have some change to meet what the customer need, there is another problem that what about the number of interviewers and method selected during this survey. Is that the respondents can be representative of all the video game players? Moreover, the author holds an extensive advertising campaign at people 10 to 25years old. However, whether the respondents in first survey are also the same group people? If not, the advertising campaign maybe does not make sense. Also is that the games provided lifelike graphics is enough to meet all the players taste? Without take an clear investigation about what the players need and what really attracts them, the author cannot have that conclusion.

Finally, even if the new game can attract many players to buy, the author also can not have the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically, because next few months is too short to have effect on the market. Perhaps the economic depression will also have bad effect on the sale. Perhaps there are many other companies which also sell this kind of new product will be competitors for us.

In sum, the author is not looking at a big picture but only relying on some doubtful assumptions and this argument is unconvincing as it stands. To make this argument convince, the author must provide more information about what they need. Also would be any information about the competitors action is effective before ultimate decision.

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cynthial
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沙发

发表于 2007-3-2 14:31:00 |只看该作者

argument147 [十日大冲刺小组]作业贴--totti 第6次作业
Argument147 第8篇让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户共用时间：30分2秒 381 words
从2007年2月1日17时7分到2007年2月1日17时30分
------题目------
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
'Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.'
------正文------
In this argument, the author recommends that we must produce new kind of video games to improve the sale. To support his claim, the author cites survey of video-game players what they need and provide some other information. However, close scrutiny of each of these facts, this argument is logical flawed in several critical respects.

The threshold problem with this argument is that the author dose not provides more formation information about the real reason why the sales have declined. It is possible that all the video games companies also have not gained profits due to the economic depression. It is also possible that some other reasons that have bad effect on the sale 最好把这些reasons写几个出来加强说服力. Without provide providing reason reasons in details, the author cannot convince me that we must have some change on our products.

In addition, even if we must have some change changes to meet what the customer need, there is another problem that what about the number of interviewers and method selected during this survey. Is that the respondents can be representative of all the video game players? Moreover, the author holds an extensive advertising campaign at people 10 to 25years old. However, whether the respondents in first survey are also the same group people? If not, the advertising campaign maybe does not make sense. Also is that the games provided lifelike graphics is 去掉is enough to meet all the players taste? Without take taking an a clear investigation about what the players need and what really attracts them, the author cannot have that conclusion.

Finally, even if the new game can attract many players to buy, the author also can not have the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically, because next few months is too short to have effect on the market. Perhaps the economic depression will also have bad effect on the sale sales. Perhaps there are many other companies which also sell this kind of new product will be competitors for us. 这段可以再展开来说

In sum, the author is not looking at a big picture but only relying on some doubtful assumptions and this argument is unconvincing as it stands. To make this argument convince, the author must provide more information about what they need. Also would be any information about the competitors action is effective before ultimate decision.

总的来说不错,不过我们都很容易范的一个错就是单复数和前后人称一致的问题
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