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[i习作temp] Issue56 by Andier. 下手请狠~~ [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-17 23:04:02 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
The past century has seen a tremendous progress in either scientific or social field. However, the development has not eliminated more problems that it brings. Nowadays people are still facing exigent issues. In such a case, should governments put more emphasis on solving immediate problems, as the speaker claims, than solving possible problems of the future? As far as I concerned, even if that some existing problems is urgent and need instant solutions, this limited priority cannot be extended to embrace the general conclusion that governments should only focus on problems of today.

It is true that there are various kinds of problems, some of which are crucial and pressing, probably involving hundreds of thousands of people and their lives. By Maslow, an American psychologist and his notion of “Hierarchy of needs”, physiological and safety needs lie in the bottom of the pyramid, only based on the satisfaction of such needs can one further pursue for love, esteem and self actualization. When facing with the widespread famine and starvation, the extreme weathers and the floods and draught it cause and the intermittent regional conflicts in various places, the governments have no justifiable reason to consider long-term plans instead of providing immediate support and succor to help lift people out of poverty and danger and secure them a stable and well-being society. In some most needy place, even preliminary education is luxurious. It would be hard to imagine that such governments could make plans of universities or art museums. Besides, some problems like the degradation of environment, the extinction of species are aggravating at a rapid rate and calls for immediate attention. If people keep ignoring what they ignored in the past, they would pay a steep price for what they overlooked.

Paradoxically, if one starts by examining what we have overlooked, more often than not, it is the ability to focus on the big picture. For most of the problems mentioned above, the only reason why they become exigent now is that they are overlooked and ignored in the past. For an example, since 18th century, people having been trying hard to utilize and exploit all the resources they could find, leaving a trail of human imprint on the nature in the name of progress. Thousand of species become extinct even before we know them. Moreover over industrialization is recognized as a major factor that leads to global warming effect and abnormal weather patterns, which in turn cause floods and draught. It is somewhat pathetic that human beings are trapped in a broken world smashed by themselves. Problems in any realms are more likely to be inextricably intertwined. Any limitation imposed by the inability to be guided by any large context would render the wish to solve nowadays problems as the cause for future problems. Thereby governments should be able to think not only of contemporary people but also the following generations and their world. For an example, the Chinese government came up with the notion “Green GDP(gross domestic product)” in xxx. It is a measure to include the cost of environmental .... Although these measure still needs regulation and improvement, it a sign that governments have realized how mistaken they were when we give absolute priority to economic development.

As to the realm of scientific development, the same sense of a big picture is necessary, too. There are numerous researches that would take years or even decades to give any substantial results. What is more, the results are open to further develop. Thus, if judging by the short term values of scientific study, people would miss many significant achievements. For an example, Michael Faraday discovered the electromagnetic induction in xxx, after a study for ten years, which cost the Britain government millions of pounds. The same day of the discovery, Maxwell was born, another physics giant, who continued with what had been achieved by Faraday and formulate a set of formula to describe the electromagnetic waves. Twenty years later, Hertz verified the existence of such wave in laboratory for practical use in the future. Now, more than one hundred year later, those invisible waves are occupying the entire sky, serving as a measure to support broadcasting, mobile communication and etc. It is true that, when Faraday found the induction theory, few people except who are in the same field would find it near to useless or even not aware of it. And the funds by Britain government in 19th century only manifest its value to the entire world more than a hundred years later. If such study is not support, there would hardly be any substantial progress in science.

In sum, people have to bear in mind that there could be fallout any action taken, so it would be preferable to anticipate such problems and handle them before they become overwhelming. Moreover government should realize the potential value of various things otherwise any long-term achievements would nonexistent. It is like bringing up a kid, supplying food and accommodation is basic but far from fostering a rational, healthy and powerful individual in the future.

[ 本帖最后由 Andier 于 2007-7-17 23:11 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2007-7-18 17:47:56 |只看该作者
大家再来拍吧~~~~~~

咱们还可以继续互拍~。。

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板凳
发表于 2007-7-19 20:40:23 |只看该作者

Issue56 by Andier. 下手请狠~~

The past century has seen a tremendous progress in either scientific or social field. However, the development has not eliminated more problems that it brings[about]. Nowadays people are still facing exigent issues. In such a case, should governments put more emphasis on solving immediate problems, as the speaker claims, than solving possible problems of the future? As far as I [am]concerned, even if that some existing problems is urgent and need instant solutions, this limited priority cannot be extended to embrace the general conclusion that governments should only focus on problems of today.

It is true that there are various kinds of problems, some of which are crucial and pressing, probably involving[in] hundreds of thousands of people and their lives. By Maslow, an American psychologist and[and
去掉改为holding] his notion of “Hierarchy of needs”, physiological and safety needs lie in the bottom of the pyramid, only based on the satisfaction of such needs can one further pursue for love, esteem and self actualization. When facing with the widespread famine and starvation, the extreme weathers and the floods and draught it cause and the intermittent regional conflicts in various places, the governments have no justifiable reason to consider long-term plans instead of providing immediate support and succor to help lift[extricate] people out of poverty and danger and secure them a stable and well-being society. In some most needy place[places], even preliminary education is luxurious. It would be hard to imagine that such governments could make plans of universities or art museums. Besides, some problems like the degradation of environment, the extinction of species are aggravating at a rapid rate and calls for immediate attention. If people keep ignoring what they ignored in the past, they would pay a steep price for what they overlooked.[any government, who is blind to this point, will pay a heavy price]

Paradoxically, if one starts by examining what we have overlooked, more often than not, it is the ability to focus on the big picture. For most of the problems mentioned above, the only reason why they become exigent now is that they are overlooked and ignored in the past. For an[an
可不可以去掉?] example, since 18th century, people having been trying hard to utilize and exploit all the resources they could find, leaving a trail of human imprint on the nature in the name of progress. Thousand of species become extinct even before we know them. Moreover over industrialization is recognized as a major factor that leads to global warming effect and abnormal weather patterns, which in turn cause floods and draught. It is somewhat pathetic that human beings are trapped in a broken world smashed by themselves. Problems in any realms are more likely to be inextricably intertwined. Any limitation imposed by the inability to be guided by any large context would render the wish to solve nowadays problems as the cause for future problems. Thereby governments should be able to think not only of contemporary people but also the following generations and their world. For an example, the Chinese government came up with the notion “Green GDP(gross domestic product)” in xxx. It is a measure to include the cost of environmental .... Although these measure still needs regulation and improvement, it a sign that governments have realized how mistaken they were when we give absolute priority to economic development.[这段不错,有点哲理性。所为的当前问题,就是以前的长远问题,二者是互相转化的。从而更说明长远问题的重要性]

As to the realm of scientific development, the same sense of a big picture is necessary, too. There are numerous researches that would take years or even decades to give any substantial results. What is more, the results are open to further develop. Thus, if judging by the short term values of scientific study, people would miss many significant achievements. For an example, Michael Faraday discovered the electromagnetic induction in xxx, after a study for ten years, which cost the Britain government millions of pounds. The same day of the discovery, Maxwell was born, another physics giant, who continued with what had been achieved by Faraday and formulate a set of formula to describe the electromagnetic waves. Twenty years later, Hertz verified the existence of such wave in laboratory for practical use in the future. Now, more than one hundred year later, those invisible waves are occupying the entire sky, serving as a measure to support broadcasting, mobile communication and etc. It is true that, when Faraday found the induction theory, few people except who are in the same field would find it near to useless or even not aware of it. And the funds by Britain government in 19th century only manifest its value to the entire world more than a hundred years later. If such study is not support, there would hardly be any substantial progress in science. [
这一段是要重科学角度来分析长远问题吗?似乎不是很好。例子表述和分析不太到位]

In sum, people have to bear in mind that there could be fall out any action taken, so it would be preferable to anticipate such problems and handle them before they become overwhelming. Moreover government should realize the potential value of various things otherwise any long-term achievements would nonexistent. It is like bringing up a kid, supplying food and accommodation is basic but far from fostering a rational, healthy and powerful individual in the future.

整体上讲还不错。语言条理都很好。就是例子的分析使之更好的服务主题。

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地板
发表于 2007-7-19 23:32:47 |只看该作者
首先 ~ 谢谢改得这么认真,小的语法错误都挑出来了,那个 for an example 真是丢人了……

还有倒数第二段是后来加上准备详细写的~ 结果忘记改了还 xxx 呢。。。实在是抱歉。。

我会继续努力~致力于逻辑关系的完善。。

谢谢!

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发表于 2007-7-21 12:13:51 |只看该作者
Issue56 by Andier. 下手请狠~~
The past century has seen突然想到一个好词witness a tremendous progress in either scientific or social field. However, the development has not eliminated more problems that it brings. Nowadays people are still facing exigent issues. In such a case, should governments put more emphasis on solving immediate problems, as the speaker claims, than solving possible problems of the future? As far as I concerned, even if that some existing problems is urgent and need instant solutions, this limited priority cannot be extended to embrace the general conclusion that governments should only focus on problems of today.
觉得前半部分有点问题,第一句好像假定了问题都是由社会科学的发展导致的,而且发展的坏处超过了他带来的好处?--more problems that it brings, 而且列举事实的时候也没有点到将来的问题

It is true that there are various kinds of problems, some of which are crucial and pressing, probably involving hundreds of thousands of people and their lives. By Maslow, an American psychologist and his notion of “Hierarchy of needs”, physiological and safety needs lie in the bottom of the pyramid, only based on the satisfaction of such needs can one further pursue for love, esteem and self actualization. When facing with the widespread famine and starvation, the extreme weathers and the floods and draught it cause and the intermittent regional conflicts in various places, the governments have no justifiable reason to consider long-term plans instead of providing immediate support and succor to help lift people out of poverty and danger and secure them a stable and well-being society. In some most needy place, even preliminary education is luxurious. It would be hard to imagine that such governments could make plans of universities or art museums. Besides, some problems like the degradation 觉得应该用degeneration of environment, the extinction of species are aggravating at a rapid rate and calls for immediate attention. If people keep ignoring what they ignored in the past, they would pay a steep price for what they overlooked.
那个需求层次的例子觉得用在这里不太合适,毕竟深层次需求如爱,尊重等无法和政府的长远计划画上等号,长远计划的目的也是为了解决将来可能发生的问题,LZ丰富多变的语言我喜欢

Paradoxically, if one starts by examining what we have overlooked, more often than not, it is the ability to focus on the big picture. For most of the problems mentioned above, the only reason why they become exigent now is that they are overlooked and ignored in the past. For an example, since 18th century, people having been trying hard to utilize and exploit all the resources they could find, leaving a trail of human imprint on the nature in the name of progress 好句. Thousand of species become extinct even before we know them. Moreover over industrialization is recognized as a major factor that leads to global warming effect and abnormal weather patterns, which in turn cause floods and draught. It is somewhat pathetic that human beings are trapped in a broken world smashed by themselves. Problems in any realms are more likely to be inextricably intertwined. Any limitation imposed by the inability to be guided by any large context would render the wish to solve nowadays problems as the cause for future problems.这句看得很吃力,也不大明白意思呢 Thereby governments should be able to think not only of contemporary people but also the following generations and their world. For an example, the Chinese government came up with the notion “Green GDP(gross domestic product)” in xxx. It is a measure to include the cost of environmental .... 看来还没有写完整Although these measure still needs regulation换adjustment可以不 and improvement, it a sign that governments have realized how mistaken they were when we give absolute priority to economic development.结尾最好再段落小评下,这段写得比较长,那句关键的转折句在我的理解范围之外,所以很难帮你改

As to the realm of scientific development, the same sense of a big picture is necessary, too. There are numerous researches that would take years or even decades to give any substantial results. What is more, the results are open to further develop. Thus, if judging by the short term values of scientific study, people would miss many significant achievements. For an example, Michael Faraday discovered the electromagnetic induction in xxx, after a study for ten years, which cost the Britain government millions of pounds. The same day of the discovery, Maxwell was born, another physics giant, who continued with what had been achieved by Faraday and formulate a set of formula to describe the electromagnetic waves. Twenty years later, Hertz verified the existence of such wave in laboratory for practical use in the future. Now, more than one hundred year later, those invisible waves are occupying the entire sky, serving as a measure to support broadcasting, mobile communication and etc. It is true that, when Faraday found the induction theory, few people except who are in the same field would find it near to useless or even not aware of it. And the funds by Britain government in 19th century only manifest its value to the entire world more than a hundred years later. If such study is not support, there would hardly be any substantial progress in science.
这段和前面几段的衔接不是太好,从整体的评价转入了个别学科领域的具体问题,从全文看,安排得不太好,而且例子中的大部分和政府行为没有直接的关系

In sum, people have to bear in mind that there could be fallout any action taken, so it would be preferable to anticipate such problems and handle them before they become overwhelming. Moreover government should realize the potential value of various things otherwise any long-term achievements would nonexistent. It is like bringing up a kid, supplying food and accommodation is basic but far from fostering a rational, healthy and powerful individual in the future.抚养小孩的例子,跟那个需求层次很像,提到了基本需求和深层次的需求,但是题目的要求讨论眼前问题和长远问题,两个的概念不一致
乍一看觉得字数真是让人发麻……,羡慕ing,也学习了很多好句好词
其中的问题已经在前面一一讲了,主要是切题方面的,也可能是我理解不够
仅供参考
我有我痴狂,
废墟成天堂。
曾几度过往,
不怕山远水长……

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发表于 2007-7-21 18:35:01 |只看该作者
第一感觉是写得好多。。。
第三段很好,其实我也想表达这个意思,但是没写好

科学发展的那两段感觉关系不大,不过典故倒是很丰富
中国的绿色gdp比国外晚了好多年(我是学这方面的。。。),当例子不太好

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RE: Issue56 by Andier. 下手请狠~~ [修改]
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