[a习作temp] Argument195 [奋战August]小组第5周作业 by dg336688 [复制链接]

dg336688
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电梯直达

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发表于 2007-7-24 13:15:30 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TOPIC: ARGUMENT195 - The following is a letter from an editor at Liber Publishing Company to the company's president.
"In recent years, Liber has unfortunately moved away from its original mission: to publish the works of regional small-town authors instead of those of big-city authors. Just last year, 90 percent of the novels we published were written by authors who maintain a residence in a big city. Although this change must have been intended to increase profits, it has obviously backfired, because Liber is now in serious financial trouble. The only way to address this problem is to return to our original mission. If we return to publishing only the works of regional small-town authors, our financial troubles will soon be resolved."
WORDS: 483       TIME: 00:30:00       DATE: 2007-7-24 13:05:20

According to the letter, editer at Liber Publishing Company wants to steer away from its original mission to publish works of regional small-town authors. He claims that they are capable of resolving their financial troubles by only publishing the works of regional small-town authors due to a data indicating the majority of the novels published were written by authors who maintain a residence in a big city. As it were, the assertion lacks convincing reasoning to persuade me to accept it, and there are obviously several flaws in its analysis and conclusion.

In the first place, author fails to elucidate the deeper reason underlying why they are in financial troubles. Just because they published 90 % novels which were written by authors who maintain a residence in a big city?  It seems that there is completely no connection between the sale failure and author's residence location. Authors who hold a residence in a big city might live in a small city in a long term. The reason varies from case to case, for example, they may want to seek the writing inspirations in a idyllic and tranquil village, or they just want to enjoy a small-town life out there,or maybe their family are working out there. In thsee cases, there is no authentic evidence to prove that the financial crisis they suffer is derived from the residence place of authors.

Secondly, author also fails to clarify why they want to publish the works from regional small-town authors. Because they are living a quiet places that is suitable for their writing process, or owing to something else? Anyway, we are not being told about it. Let me take a wild guess, maybe authors from small-town areas are not so famous and notable as those who are from big city. However, some of them might equally be capable of  creating some excellent works as their counterparts in big city do, thereby what's most important is that company would pay them much less for publication fees. As a result, I think it is one of most effective and strong way to tackle financial problems.

Last but not least, is it realistic as author claims only publishing the works of regional small-town authors that troubles would soon be resolved? I can hardly believe that, normally the publication conditions are closely associated with many factors which may cause the rise and fall of the publications, such as, the quality of papers, contents, and its prices and so on. Authors just put stress on a certain problems, rather than take a comprehensive and insightful overviews towards their problems.

In conclusion, owing to inadequate evidence and fallacious analysis as the assertion stands, it can't persuade me to accept this idea and plan. Thus I strongly recommend that the company's president should take this issue into delicate consideration and formulate a feasible and effective plan to deal with their financial problems.

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kyky7
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沙发

发表于 2007-7-27 15:24:32 |只看该作者

欢迎回拍!

According to the letter, editer(editor) at Liber Publishing Company wants to steer away from its original mission to publish works of regional small-town authors. He claims that they are capable of resolving their financial troubles by only publishing the works of regional small-town authors due to a data indicating the majority of the novels published were written by authors who maintain a residence in a big city. As it were, the assertion lacks convincing reasoning to persuade me to accept it, and there are obviously several flaws in its analysis and conclusion.

In the first place, author fails to elucidate the deeper reason underlying why they are in financial troubles. Just because they published 90 % novels which were written by authors who maintain a residence in a big city?  It seems that there is completely no connection between the sale failure and author's residence location. Authors who hold a residence in a big city might live in a small city in a long term. The reason varies from case to case, for example, they may want to seek the writing inspirations（朗文上的解释我看着好像说inspiration表“灵感”时做可数或不可数都行，但例句里给的都是单数，小女才疏学浅，还须您自己定夺）in a idyllic and tranquil village, or they just want to enjoy a small-town life out there（此处there用的感觉不清不楚，用big cities是不是会好些）,or maybe their family are working out there. In thsee（these） cases, there is no authentic evidence to prove that the financial crisis they suffer is derived from（词法错误，直接是derives from） the residence place of authors.(对于这一段中的举例个人觉得，题中是赞成small-town life的，应该攻击指出的是“住在城里没什么不好，不是造成trouble的原因”而不是“住在小地方好”，这块攻击的是不是有点太侧面了，感觉说服的不直接阿！)

Secondly, author also fails to clarify why they want to publish the works from regional small-town authors. Because they are living a quiet places that is suitable for their writing process, or owing to something else? （此处句子结构不对称，改为owe to应该会好些吧？）Anyway, we are not being told about it. Let me take a wild guess, maybe authors from small-town areas are not so famous and notable as those who are from big city. However, some of them might equally be capable of  creating some excellent works as their counterparts in big city do, thereby what's the most important is that company would pay them much less for publication fees. As a result, I think it is one of most effective and strong way to tackle financial problems.

Last but not least, is it realistic, as author(the editor)claims,only by （表方式）publishing the works of regional small-town authors that troubles would soon be resolved?(原句句子成分有些混杂) I can hardly believe that, （怎么是hardly believe呢，没看明白）normally the publication conditions are closely associated with many factors which may cause the rise and fall of the publications（出版是由出版商决定的，不存在rise and fall，此处改为popularity或是什么其它应该会更好）, such as, the quality of papers（此处若意为“纸张”应用单数，不可数）contents, and its prices（单数）and so on. Authors（the editor） just puts stress(此处用emphasis会更贴切) on a（去掉） certain problems, rather than take a comprehensive and insightful overviews（自己看看，是不是又是单复数的问题） towards their problems.

In conclusion, owing to inadequate evidence and fallacious analysis as the assertion standson, it can't persuade me to accept this idea and plan（感觉冗长）。Thus I strongly recommend that the company's president should take this issue into delicate consideration and formulate a feasible and effective plan to deal with their financial problems.
能力有限，以上修改有误之处还望大家指出，共同进步学习！
哥哥的语言很值得我学习，不过个人觉得这篇argument存在以下几个小小问题：
l       攻击的范围较小，批判没有展开，文章总体只说明了两点错误，并且用了2，3两段只是从不同的方向攻击同一个错误，就是作者的居所位置问题。个人觉得有点绕。而很多其他的逻辑错误如出版范围等并未提及。
l       文章名词的单复数错误很多，望注意。

哥哥是限时写的吧！？很不错哦！加油！向你学习！我现在规定时间内350已经是极限了，但一般还是300以上。唉~ 希望能早日提高````

[ 本帖最后由 kyky7 于 2007-7-27 15:29 编辑 ]

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