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[a习作temp] Argument147【MathSCU 10G】第18次作业 大家给点意见吧 by qawsed [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-29 09:10:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."

The argument is well presented, but not well reasoned. In this argument, the author claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the author cites that the Whirlwind has just introduced several lifelike-graphics games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25. And he always points out the result of a recent survey that the game with lifelike graphics is of great favorite. Though the reasoning seems logical at first glance, the whole article suffers several fallacies after careful considerations. In fact, the thread of the author is based on a false analogy.

To begin with, the survey quoted in the conclusion is not representative enough to reflect the requirement in video-games of the whole players, but he fails to prove any evidence to prove that. We can not find any relevant procedures for random sampling. We also do not know how broad the sample is and whether the results of the respondents are both truthful and meaningful. It is entirely possible that the survey contains only one age range in certain community, which can not represent the whole preference of the video-game players. Each age range has proper tastes due to the different levels of education they have absorbed and the experiences they have realized. So it is entirely possible that only the people 25 to 35 like the game which Whirlwind will produce. So the lifelike-graphics games Whirlwind just introduce can probably not satisfy the desire of the players at 10 to 25 he maintained, which will induce the undesirable benefits from the investment.

Next, the author overemphasizes the credibility of the survey.  In addition, we can not safely conclude that the feature of lifelike graphics is the most vital dimension which will affect the determination of people's purchasing behavior in terms of the survey. There may be other possible factors which can play an important part in players’ choices on the sort of the video-games. Consider, for example, the plot of the games, the degree of the stimulation of the games, the sound effect, the speed of the character's reaction and the other relevant features.Thirdly, the author fails to provide evidence that whether the lifelike-graphics games have already swarmed into the game markets by other companies. Admittedly, it is a great impact for Whirlwind when the games produced by other companies have already taken up the game market and deserved most players’ favor. Whirlwind should put more attention on the analysis of the risk capital. Sometimes it is not a terrible decision to invent new types of video game which not only require the most up-to-date computers but also can get in touch with the common interests of the mass.

In conclusion, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence that the game Whirlwind introduced can fit the tastes of most players. Another point worth considering is that whether the Whirlwind have advanced technology and ideas to compete with the craft brothers. Consequently, unless the author demonstrates the credibility of the survey, he can not confidently convince the feasibility of what he maintains.
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发表于 2007-7-30 10:32:53 |只看该作者
The argument is well presented, but not well reasoned. In this argument, the author claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months. To substantiate the conclusion, the author cites that the Whirlwind has just introduced several lifelike-graphics games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25. And he always points out the result of a recent survey that the game with lifelike graphics is of great favorite. Though the reasoning seems logical at first glance, the whole article suffers several fallacies after careful considerations. In fact, the thread of the author is based on a false analogy.

To begin with, the survey quoted in the conclusion is not representative enough to reflect the requirement in video-games of the whole players, but he fails to prove(用provide提供吧) any evidence to prove that. We can not find any relevant procedures for random sampling. We also do not know how broad the sample is and whether the results of the respondents are both truthful and meaningful. It is entirely possible that the survey contains only one age range in certain community, which can not represent the whole preference of the video-game players. Each age range has proper tastes due to the different levels of education they have absorbed and the experiences they have realized. So it is entirely possible that only the people 25 to 35 like the game which Whirlwind will produce. So the lifelike-graphics games Whirlwind just introduce can probably not satisfy the desire of the players at 10 to 25 he maintained, which will induce the undesirable benefits from the investment.(你还可以说说,10到25岁的人多数是学生,他们的购买力相对较弱,因此他们的喜恶不能增加游戏的销量)

Next, the author overemphasizes the credibility of the survey.  In addition, we can not safely conclude that the feature of lifelike graphics is the most vital dimension which will affect the determination of people's purchasing behavior in terms of the survey. There may be other possible factors which can play an important part in players’ choices on the sort of the video-games. Consider, for example, the plot of the games, the degree of the stimulation of the games, the sound effect, the speed of the character's reaction and the other relevant features.Thirdly, the author fails to provide evidence that whether the lifelike-graphics games have already swarmed into the game markets by other companies. Admittedly, it is a great impact for Whirlwind when the games produced by other companies have already taken up the game market and deserved most players’ favor. Whirlwind should put more attention on the analysis of the risk capital. Sometimes it is not a terrible decision to invent new types of video game which not only require the most up-to-date computers but also can get in touch with the common interests of the mass.(还有一点很重要的你没讨论,就是这个游戏对电脑配置要求过高,人们为了耍他的游戏还要把电脑升级,这又是一笔不小的开支,这也会成为人们购买这个游戏的一个障碍)

In conclusion, the author fails to provide sufficient evidence that the game Whirlwind introduced can fit the tastes of most players. Another point worth considering is that whether the Whirlwind have advanced technology and ideas to compete with the craft brothers. Consequently, unless the author demonstrates the credibility of the survey, he can not confidently convince the feasibility of what he maintains.

这篇写的不错,很流畅,但就是缺陷没找完,我听过来人说的,把argument的错误找完很重要,所以建议你平时不写作文的时候把argument的错误的找了,这样考场上不会那么紧张

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RE: Argument147【MathSCU 10G】第18次作业 大家给点意见吧 by qawsed [修改]
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Argument147【MathSCU 10G】第18次作业 大家给点意见吧 by qawsed
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