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alyssaleeby
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-2-16 19:49:29 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 alyssaleeby 于 2009-2-16 20:01 编辑

字数差太多了，实在想不出来要怎么写了，多多提建议，谢谢！

The author asserts that censorship is rarely, if ever, justified. This depict over exaggerate the failure of censorship and overlook the advantage aspects. However, censorship is indispensable and advantageous for social progress and economical prosperity.

In the rapid progress society censorship is necessary for continuant prosperity. Censorship can keep social justice via find out crimes and illegal acts in our society and then use low against them. If fail to find these wrongs associated laws and methods can not be completed and could not force the wrong to the right in a effective way. Consider, for example, censorship can fight against various crimes and illegal acts which undermine justification so as to build a favorable atmosphere and stimulate future economic growth and well-being of its individual citizens. Therefore, censorship is the way to keep social progress.

Even more, censorship is of great sufficiency for government to start work which can make citizens live a better life. For the reason that through censorship government can increase the credit and enjoy massive popularity and these will help government easily to communicate with citizens which can attain massages about citizens’ willing. If the government do not clearly acknowledge what the citizens’ need, it is difficult to present polities which accord to citizens willing. So if the government cannot enjoy popularity, the social stability will face challenge. Conversely, through censorship government can accrete credit which make citizens easily to accept new accurate polities .

However, the author assumes that censorship is rarely justified. Supervision is of great importance for censorship, and some groups and individuals do not fight against illegal acts as what acquired in the law destroyed the justification of censorship. More over, the media exacerbate censorship justification through aggressive data and inaccurate report which can attain more reader and profits.

In sum, censorship is needed and adequate for society though it is rarely justified. In my view government should intensify legislation and its implementation to fight against illegal so that society could progress in a more justified circumstance.

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xiaoyaozi5566
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沙发

发表于 2009-2-16 21:07:20 |只看该作者

楼主贴文章的时候请把题目一并贴上来，这样才符合发文格式

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witchyaya
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板凳

发表于 2009-2-17 12:59:26 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 witchyaya 于 2009-2-17 13:27 编辑

7 witchyaya 改

The author asserts that censorship is rarely, if ever, justified. This depict(s) over exaggerate(exaggerated) the failure of censorship and overlook（overlooks） the advantage aspects(advantages/advantageous aspects). However, censorship is indispensable and advantageous for social progress and economical (前面是节约的，节俭的意思economic) prosperity.

In the rapid progress society (“in the society with high pace of development” 自己想到的，不一定好，觉得“rapid progress society”从语法上是不合理的。。) censorship is necessary for continuant（continuous/sustaining） prosperity. Censorship can keep social justice via（介词，后面应该用finding） find out crimes and illegal acts (这两个换个顺序以表递进会不会好些呢？)in our society and then use low(打错了哈？law?) against them. If fail to find these wrongs associated laws and methods can not be completed and could not force the wrong to the right in a effective way. (作者想要表达的是？) Consider, for example,（感觉这里，这两个用在一起不太好，） censorship can fight against various crimes and illegal acts which undermine justification（justification,是正当化，正当的理由等意思，是不是想表达正义的意思呢？。，如果是，justice合适些） so as to(这里用so as to 感觉不太合适，前面一句有个can,) build a favorable atmosphere and stimulate future economic growth and well-being of its individual citizens. Therefore, censorship is the way to keep social progress.（通过打击犯罪及违法行为创造良好的社会环境从而促进社会发展进步，）

Even more,（这个词组一般不这样用在句首的） censorship is of great sufficiency（充足的？） for government to start work which can make citizens live a better life. For the reason that through censorship government can increase the credit and enjoy massive popularity and these will help government easily to communicate with citizens which can attain massages about citizens’ willing. If the government do not clearly acknowledge（是否想表达“知道，清楚”之意，如果是，acknowledge没有此意哈。。）what the citizens’ need（what the citizens need/ what the citizens’ needs are）, it is difficult to present(present policies?什么意思？) polities(policies?) which accord to citizens(citizens’) willing. So if the government cannot enjoy popularity (enjoy popularity?), the social stability will face challenge. Conversely, through censorship government can accrete credit which （加个will是不是感觉好些呢？）make citizens easily(easy) to accept new accurate polities (?作者的意思是？).（[通过审查制度可以增加政府的信用度，提升政府形象，获得人民的支持，从而使得社会更加稳定，政策更容易得到贯彻）]

However, the author assumes that censorship is rarely justified. Supervision is of great importance for censorship, and some groups and individuals do not fight against illegal acts as what （what is）acquired(?要求的？required) in the law destroyed （前面是一个完整的句子，这里再接一个谓语动词语法上是不成立的）the justification（公正性？impartiality可以否？） of censorship. More over（moreover）, the media exacerbate censorship justification（合理性？rationality） through aggressive data and inaccurate report which can attain(达到，实现之意，这里应该用获得obtain可以) more reader(readers) and profits.

In sum, censorship is needed and adequate for society (?) though it is rarely justified. In my view government should intensify legislation and its implementation to fight against illegal(the illegal) so that society could progress in a more justified circumstance.

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witchyaya
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地板

发表于 2009-2-17 13:31:04 |只看该作者

正文部分，前两段论述还可以，第三段转折段让我感觉有点糊涂，到底在说censorship的哪一点呢，与前两段的关系是怎样的呢？为什么用一句“the author assumes that censorship is rarely justified”,开头后，后面仿佛与这句没多大关系了，直接说到supervision了呢？。。

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