[i习作temp] issue144【0906背水一战三月小组】第二次作业by yang1989 [复制链接]

yang1989
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电梯直达

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发表于 2009-3-2 20:59:50 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 yang1989 于 2009-3-2 21:01 编辑

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist,not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
WORDS: 569
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009/3/2 20:35:55
拼写错误8.
语法2
提纲：
1.艺术家有永恒价值
2.评论家也有永恒价值，因为他帮我们发现艺术家的价值
3.出色的评论家本身就能给我们永恒价值。

While some may argue that it is the artist,instead of the critic, who gives society something of lasting value as thespeaker contends, I hold a reserved disagreement with his point. In all,excellent artist and outstanding critics can both offer something eternal toour society.

To begin with, it's true that artists, whoexpress themselves in a highly creative way, invariably live through time.While the ordinary people usually find themselves stuck in the mud of thischaotic world, artists relieve the situation by concentrating on their innervoices, which softens the hardship felt by the ordinary as well when expressedin form of art. Sebastian Bach takes God's calling to comfort us, Van Goghinspires each of us in virtue of enormous strength and Picasso gives ussomething of confidence to seek meaning and unity in fragments produced by a dehumanizingindustrial civilization. Whatever contents they expressed, all these artworkstouch something at the bottom of everybody's heart and deserve to be entitledas the crux of one culture, society and even the western civilization, whichwill never fade away with the passage of time.

But had it not been the efforts of critics,who delve into seeking meanings behind the form of an artwork, as likely as notwe would have little knowledge of the great names in the history of art, suchas Van Gogh, Paul Cezanne, Marcel Duchamp etc. It's the critics who devotethemselves to identify works of an eternal value among mountainous awkwardproductions disguised in the name of art. Embarrassing faults as they sometimesmay come to, critics possess so
amazinga characteristic that they are always ready to admit their faults andreevaluate their critiques on the basis of new perspective or techniques whichhelps to understand the obscure artwork. It's true that Van Gogh used to beignored and led a poor life; paintings by Paul Cezanne, the extraordinaryimpressionist and artworks by Marcel Duchamp, who took a urinal to an artexhibition, were criticized severely, they eventually gain their names and areintroduced to common people who probably have no idea of what great art is. Ina word, good critics are usually good connoisseurs, who make mistakes sometimebut never all the time. Thanks to their outstanding works, our societydiscovers so many precious arts of lasting value.

What's more, critiques of great artcommentators are fine art in itself. Take Friedrich Nietzsche's first book, theBirth of Tragedy, for example, which comments on the Greek art. Nietzsche distinguishestwo kinds of spirits in this book, that is, the reflective Apollonian andrhapsodic Dionysian and contends that the arts of the Greeks are the highestform of all art since they have perfectly combined Apollonian and Dionysian.The book is so gracely wrote that it's a great art in itself! What's more, theBirth of Tragedy has exerted a profound influence in later intellectuals in thewest since the book is intended to warn the western civilization of thedeadening influence of rationalism and inspire something sublime. FriedrichNietzsche, in all sense, is a great critic who gives our society enormoustreasures that could really live time.

To draw a conclusion, the problem is not toquarrel which one gives society something eternal, but to appreciate uniquevalue of both of the two sides. Greatness is not only about identity but aboutcreativity which is required by both professions.

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发表于 2009-3-3 18:00:03 |只看该作者

While some may argue that it is the artist, instead of the critic, who gives society something of lasting value as the speaker contends, I hold a reserved disagreement with his point. In all, excellent artist and outstanding critics can both offer something eternal to our society.

To begin with, it's true that artists, who express themselves in a highly creative way, invariably live through time. While the ordinary people usually find themselves stuck in the mud of this chaotic world, artists relieve the situation by concentrating on their inner voices,（这句话有点没懂，艺术家通过关注自己的心声来减缓这种情况？感觉不通） which softens the hardship felt by the ordinary as well when expressed in form of art. Sebastian Bach takes God's calling to comfort us, Van Gogh inspires each of us in virtue of enormous strength and Picasso gives us something of confidence to seek meaning and unity in fragments produced by a dehumanizing industrial civilization. Whatever contents they expressed, all these artworks touch something at the bottom of everybody's heart and deserve to be entitled as the crux of one culture, society and even the western civilization, which will never fade away with the passage of time.
（这段很明确的说明了艺术家对社会的价值，但你的观点是否认题目的意思，这个论点似乎有些支持题目的论点，我觉得应该在赞同艺术家对社会有价值的同时，还要证明一些不好的艺术作品不会给社会创造价值反而会带来负面影响。这样说理更能表明你不赞同题目的观点。个人观点哦）

But had it not been the efforts of critics, who delve into seeking meanings behind the form of an artwork, as likely as not we would have little knowledge of the great names in the history of art, such as Van Gogh, Paul Cezanne, Marcel Duchamp etc.（应该是？，主句是个问句） It's the critics who devote themselves to identify works of an eternal value among mountainous awkward productions disguised in the name of art. Embarrassing faults as they sometimes may come to, critics possess so
amazing a characteristic that they are always ready to admit their faults and reevaluate their critiques on the basis of new perspective or techniques which helps to understand the obscure artwork.(这句话不能证明评论家可以带来价值，不能支持你的观点) It's true that Van Gogh used to be ignored and led a poor life;（，）paintings by Paul Cezanne, the extraordinaryimpressionist（extraordinary impressionist类似这种错误很多啊） and artworks by Marcel Duchamp, who took a urinal to an art exhibition, were criticized severely, （and，as a result，）they eventually gain their names and are introduced to common people who probably have no idea of what great art is.（这就话太长，两句话之间要有连词，否则不能是一句话）Ina（a） word, good critics are usually good connoisseurs, who make mistakes sometime but never all the time.（这句话与上面说的没有联系，放在这里很突兀） Thanks to their outstanding works, our society discovers so many precious arts of lasting value.（这段说明了评论家能够让我们发现一部分艺术家的价值，要更进一步的论证正是这一些发现给社会创造了永恒的价值，追根溯源，还是评论家给社会带来了价值，这样可以更好的论证，否则仅仅只说评论家能够让我们发现一部分艺术家的价值，就略显单薄了）

What's more, critiques of great art commentators are fine art in itself. Take Friedrich Nietzsche's first book, the Birth of Tragedy, for example, which comments on the Greek art. Nietzsche distinguishes two kinds of spirits in this book, that is, the reflective Apollonian and rhapsodic Dionysian and（去掉and用which） contends that the arts of the Greeks are the highest form of all art since they have perfectly combined Apollonian and Dionysian. The book is so gracely（没有这个词，换个副词）wrote that it's a great art in itself! What's more, the Birth of Tragedy has exerted a profound influence in later intellectuals in the west since the book is intended to warn the western civilization of the deadening influence of rationalism and inspire something sublime. Friedrich Nietzsche, in all sense, is a great critic who gives our society enormous treasures that could really live time.

To draw a conclusion, the problem is not to quarrel which one gives society something eternal, but to appreciate unique value of both of the two sides. Greatness is not only about identity but （also）about creativity which is required by both professions.（结尾应该先重申自己的观点再提出新的看法）

最重要的一点就是在标点和下一个词之间，单词和单词之间是必须要有空格的，否则很识别的，我已经都帮你改过来了，你下次写时切记要打空格。

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